More Really Funny Sayings, Witty Quotes, Clever Bumperstickers and more

Here are some more really funny sayings, witty quotes, cute and clever bumper sticker quotes,  and interesting thoughts.  Some are pretty funny, a few are hilarious, some are painfully true, and some are clever and witty.  (and of course, some of these are pretty stupid sayings and dumb sayings that aren’t that amazing…   ) 

     You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
     I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

     Honk if you love peace and quiet.

     Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

     Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

     It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

     The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

     It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

     You can’t have everything….where would you put it?

     Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

     The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

     A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

     He who laughs last thinks slowest.

     Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

     A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

     On the other hand you have different fingers.

     Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

     I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

     When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

     Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

     Those who live by the sword… get shot by those who don’t.

     I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

     He’s not dead… he’s electroencephalographically challenged.

     It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

     I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

     I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

     Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Page topic: Funny one liners, funny sayings, clever bumper stickers and button and great lines. Funny English mistakes, funny jokes, funny sayings, cute and funny pictures, and much more.

27 thoughts on “More Really Funny Sayings, Witty Quotes, Clever Bumperstickers and more”

  1. What is the chemical name for water?
    and it isn’t H2O

    If we’re in a drought, why can’t we import dehydrated water?

    Not taking a risk, is taking a risk in itself

  2. Frustrated with all of the people that just don’t seem to have a clue in my “quazi government” job, I posted the following sign: “Common sense really isn’t that common.”

    Yesterday I was told to remove my sign by the CFO because the Executive Director (the one in charge of the company…cough cough!!!) thought the sign was negative and that it offended him. Wow…obviously the sign must have been for him….sheesh…get some common sense hoss!!

    Now I have a picture of big bird posted….do you think he’ll get THAT one? Probably not….morons.

  3. No matter where you go – You’re always there!
    And you’re never there, because you’re always here!

  4. I actually have the one about eh one with the sword and the dude getting shot. I also have one that says “My Gamer Fragged Your Honor Student.”

  5. for the dudes who are doing the chemical name for water: its dihydrogen monoxide…u left out the ‘mon’

    i’m such a grammar nazi…oh well

  6. Isn’t it ironic how,364 days of the year, taking candy from strangers is discouraged, yet on Halloween, it’s encouraged???

  7. Rick said: No matter where you go – You’re always there!
    And you’re never there, because you’re always here!

    The question is whether you’re ALL there or not…:-D

  8. An old Spanish proverb, or expression is, “There is nothing more uncommon, than common sense.”

  9. One bright morning…
    in the middle of the night,
    two dead boys came out to fight.
    they stood back to back
    and faced each other
    drew their swords
    and shot eachother.
    the deaf policeman heard the noise
    and came to kill
    those two dead boys.
    If u dont believe my story
    its true ask the blind man he saw it too!

  10. On my way up the stairs, I met a man that wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today, I wish the man would go away.

  11. “Mother nature gave youth beauty, because she knows that youth has nothing else to offer”

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