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Norm from Cheers: Funny and Witty comebacks and sayings by Norm Perterson on Cheers

 

 

The NORM Collection: Here’s a list of the funny responses, witty comebacks and smart ass answers to questions said by Norm Peterson when he walked into the bar on the TV show Cheers.

 

 

Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.

 

 

Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: Hey, I’m high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.

 

 

Coach: How’s a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.

 

 

Coach: What’s shaking, Norm?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.

 

 

Coach: Beer, Normie?
Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I’m still young.

 

 

[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
Coach: Normie, could this be Vera? (Norm’s wife).
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.

 

 

Coach: What’s up, Normie?
Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach.

 

 

Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down?

 

 

Coach: What’s up, Norm?
Norm: Everything that’s supposed to be.

 

 

Sam: What’s new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach. They’re demanding beer.

 

 

Coach: What’ll it be, Normie?
Norm: Just the usual, Coach. I’ll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.

 

 

Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Daddy wuvs you.

 

 

Sam: What’d you like, Normie?
Norm: A reason to live. Gimme another beer.

 

 

Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

 

 

Sam: What do you say, Norm?
Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that’ll get me a beer.

 

 

Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Hi ya, sailor. New in town?

 

 

Sam: [it’s been raining all day] Still pouring, Norm?
Norm: That’s funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.

 

 

Sam: What’s the good word, Norm?
Norm: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Sam: Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer…
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah …
Sam: One heartburn cocktail coming up.

 

 

Sam: Whaddya say, Norm?
Norm: Well, I never met a beer I didn’t drink. And down it goes.

 

 

Woody: What’s your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I’ll settle for a beer.

 

 

Woody: What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Elope with my wife.

 

 

Woody: What can I get you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Clifford Clavin’s head.

 

 

Sam: Hey, what’s happening, Norm?
Norm: Well, it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

 

 

Paul: Hey, Norm, how’s the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

 

 

Sam: How’s life treating you?
Norm: It’s not, Sammy, but you can!

 

 

Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early, isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

 

 

Woody: What’s the story, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The Bobsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.

 

 

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.
Norm: I know, and if she calls, I’m not here.

 

 

Sam: Beer Norm?
Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

 

 

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, “Insert beer here.”

 

 

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?
Norm: Yep, now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?

 

 

Sam: What are you up to, Norm?
Norm: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.

 

 

Woody: Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: You mean, “Nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson.”

 

 

Sam: What can I do for you, Norm?
Norm: Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam.

 

 

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood.

 

 

Woody: How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Poor.
Woody: I’m sorry to hear that.
Norm: No, I mean pour.

 

 

Sam: How’s life treating you, Norm?
Norm: Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.

 

 

Norm: Women. Can’t live with ‘em, pass the beer nuts.

 

 

Sam: What’s going down, Normie?
Norm: My butt cheeks on that bar stool.

 

 

Sam: How’s life in the fast lane?
Norm: Dunno, I can’t get on the on-ramp.

 

 

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Alright, but stop me at one… make that one-thirty.

 

 

Sam: What’s the story, Norm?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

 

 

Sam: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: That’s that amber sudsy stuff, right? I’ve heard good things about it!

 

 

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody.

 

 

Sam: What’s up, Normie?
Norm: My nipples, it’s freezing out there.

 

 

Page topic: Funny Norm sayings from Cheers: Funny, witty and clever comebacks and answers from Norm Perterson on Cheers.

 

 

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Comments

One Response to “Norm from Cheers: Funny and Witty comebacks and sayings by Norm Perterson on Cheers””

  1. cg sands Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    what was Norm’s toast about beer?

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