Funny letters to landlords

Here are a few excerpts of funny letters to landlords.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy

Will you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

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3 thoughts on “Funny letters to landlords”

  1. LOL, I can’t get over “Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant” that was SO funny!

  2. ” Stephen cannot come to school today as he has diarrhoea through a hole in his shoe.”

    ” James can’t come to school because he hasn’t been. I’ve given him something to make him go, and when he’s been, he’ll come.”

    ” I want my money right away. I’ve been in bed with the doctor for a week, and it’s not doing me any good. If it goes on like this, I will have to get another doctor.”

    ” I enclose the completed form with three children. One of them is a mistake, as you will see when you look into it.”

    “Julie didn’t come to school yesterday as she spent the weekend with the Marines and was worn out.”

    “Our bedroom is freezing, and my husband had to spend the night downstairs sleeping next to an old boiler.”

    “Please send me a supply of milk for having babies at reduced rates.”

    “My neighbours are complaining that I let it out in the garden and it makes a lot of noise. But if I keep it in all the time there’s lots of whining and squeaking.* ( much later in the letter, it turned out to be about a dog ).

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