Einstein Jokes: Jokes about Einstein

Einstein was one of the greatest men of our time…and one of Germany’s biggest blunders. Here is a man who ended up coming up with the ideas necessary to unlock the secrets to nuclear energy and the Germans kicked him out because of his ethnicity. Germany ended up also trying to figure out nuclear weapons but since America had their magical Einstein they developed the weapons first, turning the tide of the war in the pacific (if it was an ethical use of the weapons is a whole different post). Somewhat tragically for Einstein, he considered himself a pacifist and didn’t actually work directly on the military development of the weapons, he just provided the key to developing them.

Einstein’s chauffeur

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of making speeches.

“I have and idea, boss,” his chauffeur said. “I’ve heard you
give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.”

Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool.

Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Einstein and God

Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A minute.”
“Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A penny.”
Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”
The Lord replies, “In a minute.”

Einstein at a party

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, “What is your IQ?”

The man answers “241.”

“That is wonderful!,” says Albert. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!” Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, “What is your IQ?”

The lady answers, “144.”

“That is great!,” responds Albert. “We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”

Albert goes to another person and asks, “What is your IQ?”

The man answers, “51.”

Albert responds, “How ’bout them Cowboys?”

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