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Rick: Right Guard sports stick anything less…. Would be uncivilized. Director: the stick’s upside down. Rick: upside down. #1: I’ve never had a real girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. I thought I’d never stop hurtin’. But you know what happened the very next week? 2: … Read more

(1)I swear to God, that if you ever tank another play like the one you did today, I’ll cut your nuts off and stick ’em down your fucking throat. (2)coffee, anyone. How’s your wife and my kids? # 1: I’ve never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way … Read more

Don’t get yourself killed. That would inconvenience me. Have you ever stopped to think why they made you a jailer instead of a soldier? I took soldiers to fight for their country. I want every man in this command drunker than a fiddler’s bitch by nightfall. I’m a long way from Gettysburg. Any suggestions? If … Read more