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1#: Only thing is, sometimes she’d come home early, and I’d pretend to be asleep 2#: Who, your mom? 1#: Yeah. She’d stand in the doorway looking at me… and I’d just keep my eyes shut. And I knew she just wanted to find out about my day – that she came home early… just … Read more

1:You really are a crap gardener, Name. 2:Well, what do I know about plants? I’m from Glasgow. Draw, spliff, puff, shit, call it what you will, but it’s my belief that it is the door to enlightenment. And now, the acid test… (he clicks the lighter, lights up, enhales) …Jesus! I’ll give ya 60 quid … Read more

(sign Roland holds):will dance for food -There’s only one reason why good Christian girls go to Planned Parenthood… -Mary’s planting a pipe bomb?!??!! 1)Do you wanna go out sometime? I’m like totally adorable. 2)(Laughs) Um…I’m not dating right now. 1)How bout tomorrow? Will you be dating then? 1)I am filled with Christ’s Love! (throws bible) … Read more