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(1)Go rustle up a new snake. (2)Where? The A & P? Who the fuck carries pythons at 10 o’clock at night?! (1)What do you know about Prozac? (2)Makes you happy. But, there’s side effects. (1)Like what? (2)Limp noodle. (1)Why are you all shiny? (2)It’s Vaseline! (1)Oh ho! Ohhh! It’s Vas . . . great . … Read more

Am I to understand that you completed the training all by yourself? That’s a fact jack I rarely wear underwear, but when I do it’s something really unusual. ‘Where’s your drill sergeant, men?’ ‘Blown up, Sir.’ (1) Are either one of you two Homosexual? (2) You mean like flaming? (3) No, but we’re willing to … Read more

–How was California? –Sunny. –Sunny? You’ve been out there two years and that’s all you’ve got to say? –The Simpsons are on an hour earlier. –There’s an old Italian saying: don’t burn your tongue on another man’s soup. –Yeah? There’s an old irish saying: don’t listen to old Italian sayings. 555-1000. Grandkids, pop, grandkids I … Read more