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REALISED Lawyer: “When I was a boy my highest ambition was to be a pirate.” Client: “You’re in luck. It isn’t every man who can realise the dreams of his youth.” * * * NEVER MISS ONE Elder sister: “Oh, you fancy yourself very wise, I dare say; but I could give you a wrinkle … Read more

TOUGH ON THE SENATOR The Senator was back home, looking after his political fences, and asked the minister about some of his old acquaintances. “How is old Mr. Jones?” he inquired. “Will I be likely to see him to-day?” “You’ll never see Mr. Jones again,” said the minister. “He has gone to heaven.” * * … Read more

A QUESTION OF LOCALITY “Bobby,” said the lady in the tramcar, severely, “why don’t you get up and give your seat to your[Pg 339] father? Doesn’t it pain you to see him reaching for the strap?” “Not in a car,” said Bobby. “It does at home.” * * * HER SOFT ANSWER They had had … Read more