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ALL IN ONE BREATH Wife: “I’m afraid you’ll think me rather extravagant, dear, but I spent ten dollars to-day on a boat, and a train, and a fire-engine, and a box of soldiers, and some nine pins for Freddie’s birthday. By the way, what are you going to buy him?” * * * A YOUNG … Read more

CAUSE AND EFFECT “What a lot of suffering these ambulance surgeons must witness.” “Yes, indeed! Almost every time they go out they run over some one.” * * * “He’s a nice little horse (I saw him myself) and the dealer says I may have him for a song. Would you advise me to buy … Read more

HIS REPUTATION Waitress: “He ain’t no good, Lil-he’s one of these fellers wot chooses the price first an’ then runs his fingers along the bill o’ fare to see wot he gets for it.” * * * NOT UP-TO-DATE Penelope: “What made George and Alice break their engagement?” Clarissa: “He complained that she was too … Read more