(Talking about ways to commit suicide) 1)Drowning. Now, that’s the way to go. 2)I can’t swim. …flashy tits! 1) Hey up theres someone coming. 2) Alright? 1) Aye, not so bad. 3) Not so bad? NOT SO BAD! Thats not much of a chuffin s.o.s is it?! 1) I try dieting. I do try! Seems … Read more
(1) What can we get for ten dollars? (2) Anyting you want. Anyting, everyting. (Just before he blows his own brains all over the wall in front of the sentry.) M-14, gas-operated, magazine-fed, air–cooled, shoulder weapon; seven point six two…. Full…. Metal…. Jacket…. BANG!! –Gomer Pyle! –Jesus H. Christ. You’re not a writer! You’re a … Read more
#1- Newman? #2- Yes. #1- What are you doing? #2- I’m thinking. #1- Well think me up a cup of coffee and a donut with some of those chocolate sprinkles on top as long as you’re thinking. #1-I didn’t kill my wife! #2- I don’t care! #1-I didn’t kill my wife! #2- Idon’t care! (fellow … Read more