#1: You forgot the third rule….
#2: The third rule?
#3: Oh yeah, the third rule.
#2: Well what’s the third rule?
#1+3: DUCK!
(JULIUS)
This is him? He looks happy —
(MOTHER SUPERIOR)
(
He should — that’s Sister Maria,
his biology teacher.
(JULIUS)
I always liked biology.
(MOTHER SUPERIOR)
So did Vincent. He disgraced
Sister Maria, who had to leave
the order. Then he stole all the
money from our library fund and
ran away.
(JULIUS) But I have to find him. Where do
you think he might be?
(MOTHER SUPERIOR)
Jail. A man of his character
could only be in jail. You’re
full of goodness, Julius — I pray
that you never find him.
(POLICE) You’ve got over 200 outstanding
parking tickets, Mr. Benedict.
And you just had your birthday?
Well, your driver’s license just
expired — Happy birthday.
(VINCE)
What’re you doing with my desk?
(MOVER)
Taking back the furniture —
you’re six months behind.
(SECRETARY)
I tried to stop them, Mr. Benedict —
(VINCE)
It was time to redecorate anyway.
–Actually, I hate violence.
–But you’re so good at it.
1)
Did you tell anybody we were
coming to Santa Fe?
2_
Well, I phoned work and told them
we wouldn’t be coming in for a few
days… Oh, I forgot to tell
you — we’ve been fired. 3) Oh…no– 4) You hated that job! 5) Hello, girls — Do you mind if we
sit down and enjoy the music with
you? 5) Oh..no.
1)
I like it when you hit people!
2)
I hate violence.
3)
But you’re so good at it. We
ought to go into business together.
You could be a boxer and I’ll be
your manager.
4) I don’t think I could fight for
money.
5)
No problem. You do the fighting,
I’ll keep all the money.
1) I am never going to forgive you
for this.
2)
You were going to get killed.
I tried to distract him so
you could escape.
3)
I had escaped. I was on my way
to Brazil — when I ‘felt’ you.
1) I don’t know where my head is — I
forgot I promised this friend of
mine — Sammy — I’d pick up his
car at the airport — do me a big
favor, okay? Drive this car back
from the airport for me.
2)
I’d love to.
3) What…what are you doing with that
finger?
4)
Learning to drive.
1) I have a brother?!!!
2) He was sent to an orphanage in
Los Angeles. At the same time I
brought you here to the island.
3) I have a twin brother?!!
What’s his name?
4) Vincent.
5) Vincent! Every time I loved
something I called it Vincent —
I called my first computer
Vincent!
1) Listen, Marnie’s got the hots for
you. Tonight could be your lucky
night…
2)
I don’t think she really likes me.
3)
Piece of cake. You’re nervous
’cause it’s your first time.
Perfectly natural.
4)
Were you nervous?
5)
I was twelve and she was a nun —
that’s real pressure.
1) Look, Beetroot — if we can’t
renegotiate we wither and die.
I’m not delivering any goddam
Cadillac without knowing for sure
I got twenty for my cut.
2) Listen, you little shit-for-brains
peckerwood, you’re out of your
goddam crazy diseased greedy mind!
3) I guess twenty seems a little high
to you. I’m a reasonable guy —
I’ll take fifteen —
4)
Listen to me, you poor excuse for
a warmed over turd, a deal’s a
deal —
5)
— But —
6)
Don’t ‘but’ me, the deal is five —
7)
I can do better than five here.
8)
If you can do better than five
million dollars, take it!
9) F-f-five million dollars..? Beetroot-
10) What?! 11) I’ll see you in Houston.
1) Mitchell Traven. He supervised
the experiment for the government.
He’s the one responsible for all
of this. He still runs the
genetics lab at Los Alamos, New
Mexico.
2)
I’ll go see him.
3)
Watch out for him — he’s kind of
a dickhead, if you know what I
mean.
4)
No, I don’t — but I’m learning.
1) Okay, come here, put your feet by
my feet —
2) — Thank you for this, Vince —
3)
— I said BY my feet
not on my feet! —
1) They arrest you, they put you
behind bars, they fine you and
then they hide your car.
2)
That’s —
— your car, isn’t it?
3) Yeah — How’d you know that was
my car?
4)
We’re twins!
1) Vince, you’ve got to help me —
I’ve never been out on a date
before… what should I do?
2)
Talk to her, buy her some drinks,
dance with her. Girls like to
dance. 3) Dance? 4) I guess you haven’t done that
before either…
Well — forget all that disco
shit, everyone’s seen it. When I
really want to romance a girl, I
waltz with her.
1) Vincent, I don’t lie. I am your
brother. Let me help you get out
of here.
2)
Oh… you want to help me get
outta here?
3)
Yes.
4)
Well, money talks, bullshit walks.
5)
How can bullshit walk?
1) Where’s the little shit? 2) You have to be more specific considering our clientele 3) Benedict. 4) He wouldn’t show his face around
here. Right, Marnie? 5) Who? Vincent? That weasel, that creep? I wouldn’t serve him if he came in with his hands and knees.
1) You do like women, don’t you? 2) Very much! they’re… strange
and sensitive and they have
compassion. I have the highest
respect for women.
3) Are you virgin? 4) That’s private. 5) He’s a 230-pound virgin!
1) You’ve been here since you were a
baby — you know nothing of
America —
2) I know it is the cradle of
democracy and the land of the
free; besides, I speak twelve
languages — I’m sure I can get a
job.
1)…when we get
back, I think we should move in
together.
2)
Whoa! Move in together? no, no, no…
3)
I’m not saying we have to get
married or anything, and it’s not
about me wanting to keep an eye on
you, either…
I just want to live with you.
4)
I’m no good at playing house —
I’m grouchy in the morning, cranky
in the afternoon, moody at night —
1).Oh obviously! From the moment you sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror!!!!!
1)vincent,you are parked in a disabled parking space, 2)do i look normal to you?
As a matter of fact I come from a tropical island in the south Pacific. It’s around 300 nautical miles south of Fiji. I just got here yesterday…and I already found my brother.
Born to Be Bad
Cookies!…I cant wait to toss them
He’s got aX… AX AX AX AX AX
I cleaned her pipes once…
I left my island, half way across the world…Vincent…I’m your brother Julius.
I like nuked food.
I was half way to Brazil when I felt you.
I’ll be back in a few
days. Stay in my house. Run
up my phone bill. Throw wild
parties. Take advantage of me.
I’ve only been driving an hour.
Never sleep with that man. Never
loan him money. And never believe
a word he tells you — that’s
free advice.
Oh, obviously, the moment I sat down and looked at you I thought I was looking into a mirror.
Seems your brothers have a little problem with thier feet… might be contagious.
So wait….you’re telling me I’m a side effect?!?
Tell your brother ‘He messes
with me, he messes with my whole
family!’
Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them.
The secret to take-out veal
Parmesan is adding a little extra
cheese. I know you’re probably
used to growing your own vegetables
and spearing fish in the lagoon,
but here on the mainland we just
nuke it!
This bed is too lumpy.
Tonight is your night Bro.
Well, you’ve learned to waltz.
Now it’s time to introduce you to
the wonderful world of getting
shit-faced.
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