#1 It smells like moldy ass! #2 oh you know what I left some ass back there last week!!
#1: you suck #2: no YOU obviously suck!!
(*SLAP*) Don’t be gay in the house of God
(1) And where the hell is Jane? We’ve got customers, missy! (2) I’m sorry, Mr. Mooney. I’ll go check upstairs. (1) Jesus Christ! I’m gone for one day and the place turns into Indonesia!
(1) Does anybody have any Advil? (2) Oh my god, Jane! 1) He is so cute, so stupid!
(1) Why don’t I feel….good?! (2) Well, I’m sure it’s because you’re really nervous. It’s a big day, right? (1) How do I know if it’s…right? (2) Uh..I can’t answer that..for you. But you know if it doesn’t work out, you can always get…divorced. (1) Yeeeah!!!
(Cameron Diaz) Girl Iâ€™ve been shaking my ass all the way up this hill.(Christina Applegate) What Track? (Cameron Diaz) Track three!
(Cameron) Oh My God My Eye…how does it look? Is it okay? (Christina) Yea, But I think your pregnant!!
(Christina Applegate) You are soooooo BaJIGaty (Cameron Diaz) Iâ€™ am not Bajigety.
(knock knock)There’s someone in here. -ok, well do you know how long it’s gonna be. -Lemme put it this way, I had the lamb curry last night, I’m shittin’ out a Buick. -Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?
-i bet u miss grandma
-aahhh FUCK grandma
-i never laughed so hard in all my life. I flew accross that bathroom so fast, and you got fucked in the eye. I cant beleive you dont no what a glory whole is!
-well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockliffe i dont spend much time in mens public bathrooms.you could at least show some compassion.
-Ok im sorry lets have a look. well it looks ok but …i think ur pregnant!
…your penis packs a wallop, you’re penis packs a load. And when it makes delivery, it needs it’s own zip code…You’re too big to fit in here. Too big to fit in here.
1) And I need you to dress the mannequins…2) Oh c’mon Jane! It’s Saturday, and nobody is here, and Mr. Mooney- 3) Mr. Mooney is out sailing with his new toy boat, so that leaves me in charge of the store..so shoot. 4) Somebody needs to get some!
1) He dumped me….Kevin dumped meeee!! 2) Oh sweetie… 1) A day before our one year anniversary… 2) Well you know, he’s probably just going through a rough stage. 3) yeah, he’ll call you tomorrow..that phone is going to be ringing- 1) Noooo!! He said he’s been wanting this for six months and that he’s been dying ever since I brought over my garment bag!
1) I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I don’t want to get married. I don’t want to get married, either. WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED!
1) Oh Peter, since you’re leaving would you like to be on our mailing list? 2) Oh certainly. 3) Peter, I’ve been trying to get us off that mailing list for six years
1) Oh, Ice Cream! 2) I have them remove all the calories. 3) Oh, you’re good!
1) Should have poked her in the whiskers while you had the chance. I met this hot young bitch at the worlds fair back in 1940. Every moment with her was like a slice of heaven. 2) Ahh, I bet you really miss grandma. 1) Aw Fuck grandma! It’s pearl i’m talking about…fucking grandma.
1) What’s up…2) Nothing, what’s up with you 3)Nothing…what’s up with you…4) Nothing, what’s up with you 5) Nothing…
1) Where have you been? 2) Oh uh..I was upstairs doing inventory 3) Yeah, my aunt fanny!
1)bride or groom’s side what do ya think?
2)i think i need to go to the bathroom
1)did you misplace your bladder today or something?
2)sweety! im wearing like the tightest skirt!
1)you no those things cause anal leakage
2)yeah right pete
1)no nit says so on the bag
2)what sort of advertising brainiak puts ‘anal leakage’ on their product?
1. Thats my brother 2. He’s special
1: It smells like moldy ass back here!! 2: oh you know, come to think of it, i did leave some moldy ass back there.
1:I bet you miss Grandma. 2:aw Fuck Grandma!
50% of what people say when they’re joking is true. Which means that you DO want to go to Peter’s brother’s wedding. And by making some big joke about it, you say what you want without being vulnerable.
and then he starts telling me all this stupid stuff on how i like to play games with ppl 2)oh my gosh 3)what 4)nothing i just never seen u act this way 5)act like what 6)idk all bugigity over some guy 7)ur calling me bugigity, i am not bugigity 8)u are so bugigity 9)if ur calling me bugigity over this guy named peter its only because ur telling me i am 10)omgosh 11)WHAT 12)u named the puppy 13)no i didnt 14)u just called him peter 15)i did 16)im sicet and i just happened to know his name is peter
Applegate: you can touch them if you want Diaz: touch em, she likes it
aw fuck grandma.
awww suki suki
awwwww fuck grandma!
Cameron Diaz: I didn’t expect ya’ll to get married. I just thought you two could get it on!
Christina: I meet a guy for two minutes and I’m chasing after him like he’s something special.
Courtney: Well, maybe you want someone special for once, maybe you were thinking that you were tired of the game.
Christina: You know how i said i need to do laundry? Well i have no clean underwear i only got the SKANKY ones left! Courtney: Tell me about!
Courtney: Leather coat guy is looking pretty good Christina: Yes he is Courtney: Shotgun!
Courtney: So, how was Gerth??
Dating is all about boundaries
Do we have time for…a movie montage?
Don’t be gay in God’s house. Give me a hit.
Don’t be gay in God’s house…
Don’t go looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now and eventually, if he’s worthy, that ‘now’ part will just drop right off, naturally.
Don’t go looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now. And eventually, if he’s worthy, that ‘now’ part will simply fade away…naturally, you know?
Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true, which means, you do wanna go to this wedding but you are too afraid to admit it. So, by making some sort of joke about it, you get to say what you really want without being vulnerable….
Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, whats this?? Awww you look like my old dog buffy, whatcha got in there girl whats in there let me see whats in there…………SURPRISE!!!
Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brid road, follow the yellow brick road, whats this?? Awww you look like my old dog buffy, whatcha got in there girl whats in there let me see whats in there…………SURPRISE!!!
HELLO IS JANE THERE. HAVE A LOVELY DAY.
Hey Chris it’s Court, I’m just checking in to see if you’re listening to your messages, because if you ARE listening to your messages, it means you were too chicken shit to hook up with Peter which therefore means you are a loser! you are a LOSER!! Loo-hooo–
High fives on the clean poonani!
Hola Chiiiicaaa, #2 Mamasiiita.
i cant believe i’m fucking a purple elephant
I cant believe Im fucking a purple elephant!
i cant believe you’re getting so bejigity
what im not bejigity
you’re sooo bejigity!
I don’t grab it’s not my style.
I had lamb curry last night and i’m shitting out a buick
I had Lamb Curry last night and i’m shitting out a Buick.
I look beautiful now get off my dress
i wanted to come to your wedding to see you because the feeling is mutal a you better be a good kisser Wow that was weak Weak? yea its ok you can try it agin You were so much better in my dream i thought this was mutal Oh my god! no im seroius look i’ll call you What? What! i just woke up im out of practice Unbelivable!!!!!
I’m gonna get ya you Dicklicker
I’m not upset about it. I’m just accepting where I am right now.
I’ve got a confession: You’re a fucking dead man.
If you don’t mind I’d like to do that every hour on the hour for the rest of our lives. -Of course, go right ahead. -And don’t worry about returning the favor, men don’t really like oral sex. -Yeah, right. -I’M SERIOUS it’s just a horrible rumor that got started back sometime in the 1950’s. -Oh my God, I have to tell my friends. -Please do, someone’s got to put and end to this madness
im not gonna be afaird
is your grandmother home?
its jane she loves this song
It’s ooozy and it’s green…EEEW!
Jane: Oh-my-god-ur penis is so big!
Courtney: Good girl!
Christina: Your penis is so thick!
Courtney: Your penis is just so pretty!
All: you’ve got a handsome dick!
Christina: Your penis, it’s so hard!
Courtney: Your penis, its just so large!
Christina: My body is a movie…
All: …and your penis is the star! uh-uh-uh!
Christina: You’re 2 big 2 fit in here…
Courtney: ..2 big 2 fit in here-ow!…
Jane: 2 big 2 fit in here…uh-uh-uh!
All: You’re 2 big 2 fit in here, 2 big 2 fit in here, 2 big 2 fit in here!
(music 2 *I’m 2 Sexy*)
All: What a lovely ride!
Jane: your penis is a thrill!
Courtney: Your penis is a cadillac
Christina: A giant coup-deville
Courtney and JAne: Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load!
Christina: and when it makes deliveries…
Courtney and Jane: it needs its own zipcode!
All: 9-double zero-penis!
(Chorus): Your 2 big 2 fit in here, 2 big 2 fit in here, 2 big 2 fit in here
All:your penis is so strong, your penis is so smooth!
Guy#1: Your penis gotta rythm!
Guy#2: Your penis makes me groove!
All: your penis is a dream!
Grandma: The biggest one i’ve seen!
Asian woman: It’s oozey and its green!
ASian woman: Sorry!
All: your penis is so big, ur penis is so thick, ur penis is so pretty, ahh u’ve got a handsome dick! Your penis is so hard, ur penis is so large!
Jane: My body is a movie…
Grandma: …and ur penis is the *star*!
All: starring..your penis! (smooch)
LOOK ITS JESUS!
Love is crazy and that’s what love is.
Mr Mooney is downstairs and he is P.I.S.E.D. He’s ‘pised’?
Mr. Martin, Can you help me with my jizz?
Mr. Mooney is downstairs and hes P-I-S-E-D!
my body is a movie and your penis is the star.
starring your penis!
Nooo! He said that he’s been wanting this for six months have been stressing ever since I brought over my garmet bag
Oh My Cock!
oh my cock! oh my…cock!
Oh my god is the hottie!
Oh my God, I forgot to tell you. Last night at the party, there was this guy at the balcony window sceaming, ‘CHRISTINA! HAVE ANYONE SEEN MY CHRISTINA!’, and then he fell and he died because you’re a pussy! Why didn’t you go?!
Oh my God, It’s Fame
Oh that is the sweetest thing! And the advice comes frome someone who likes to play games with people that way she doesn’t have to get too close. Nice manners by the way.
Oh the usual, defending the rights of my heart-broken clients sucking every penny out of their miserable cheating spouses.
Oh you are so bajiggity!
Oooh, leather-coat guy is looking kinda cute….SHOT GUN!
Ooooh! Spring Break, 1994 baby! DO YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS!
Should’ve poked her in the whiskers when you had the chance.
Sing, Jane. It relaxes the throat.
Somebody needs to ‘get some’!
Sweetheart, 50 percent of jokes are true. You DO want to go to Peter’s brother’s wedding, and by making some joke about it, you say what you want without being vulnerable.
That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard…there aren’t any Jews in Somerset.
that’s why chicks always go to the bathroom together!
There once was a man from bandoo who fell asleep in a canoe he drempt of venus and played with his penis and woke with a handfull of goo
These are the days of our lives
This guy started freaking out and ran to the balcony screaming…’CHRISTINA, HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY CHRISTINA!?’And then he jumps off the balcony and dies because you’re a pussy.
Turn around. Look, Jesus!
well miss vera has planty to offer us doesn’t she?
yes plenty of CRAP!
whats that smell?
what smell? i cant smell anything
oh my god you’re used to it thats whats disgusting!
maybe it you, did something crawl up your poonani?
i have never had any complaints in the poonani odour department o.k!
well neither have i!
good hich five to the clean poonani!
Who’s my dirty girl?
You grabbed me right on the ass!
you know when u was 23 my bresticees were about here. but now gravity has taken them over. (raising her arms) 23 (letting arms down) 28…. 23 …. 28
you must miss grandma. Fuck grandma! Be nice.
You named the puppy!
you ready to go to lunch?
yeh i just gotta drop something off at the dry cleaners. Isn’t that Courtney’s dress you borrowed last night?
what did ya get something on it? No im juct tryin to be a good girlfriend.oh my god whats this?! theres ALOT!
you shoulda poked her in the wiskers while ya had the chance!
You’re pinching my arm skin!
Your penis is too big to fit in here
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Sweetest Thing, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Sweetest Thing, The’