Movie Quotes from Slackers: Quotes from the movie Slackers

(singing) I-I-I-I’m the kind of guy who will/ Not insist that you go on the pill.

…and sam, sam learnt a lesson of his own. he learnt how to print fake diplomas

1) I have to go to the bathroom. 2) Okay- that’s not allowed during the test. 1) I really have to go. 2) I’ll tell you what, why don’t you use that energy as motivation to finish the test. 1) [leans over, whispers] Explosive diarrhea- 2) OK, go! But leave this stuff here.

1). . . And I love to suck cock. . . 2) Oh. . You’re a cocksucker.

1)Hey, do you guys know where professor Marcoe’s office is? 2)Professor Markoe-‘s office? I think it’s right the f over there!

1: I hope we can be friends ‘gnome’ matter what… 2: That’s a troll. 1: Gnome it’s not.

And then it just so happens they walked in when I was sucking on her nipple.

Angela: Ethan, is this a hairdoll? Did you make this? Ethan: It fell out of your hair that way… and I want it back!

Angela: You’re holding my hand.
Dave: You never know when you’re going to hit a patch of ice.

Are you busy?
Yeah, I was masturbating.

Dave, my entire college career is a house of cards being held togethor by thousands of tiny little lies… im not going to put that in jeopardy for some schoolboy with a crush.


Do I fuckin’ know you?

does that feel good, buddy? does it? im not eating that shit, you retard!… NO ONE CALLS ME A RETARD, you FREAKING HOBO!!!

Dudes! I’m breakin’ off. I found my homies!

Ethan:Oh my gosh, I am soo sorry I led you on. Angela: Ohh yea you did! Ethan: I am sorry but I have a girlfriend. Angela: Well good, cause I like someone else, your friend Dave Ethan: Dave…FUDGE! Angela: I know…I can’t stop talking about him Ethan: I know you can’t stop talking about him

Fuck you, cocksucker!

I am in this class. I’m Sam Shenkner, I got hit by a fuckin’ bus man.

I am not a whore!-Dave

I had a nickname for you! You wanna know what it was? Im not going to tell you. ALRIGHT! It was laser!


I hope we’ll stay friends gnome matter what…Ethan that’s a droll doll….gnome it’s not.

I love you but i hate you, which brings to mind how much i love you. we could have worked this out cha’no, in a little room- in a little locked room. Im sorry you had to settle for Dane, the one dimentional man, hes filed under cock-sucker in my little black book. Sweetness can rot your teeth- bitter sweer could coughoney. but you hold the key, you hold the key- to my little locked room. you hold the key, you hold the key to my little locked room. woah a woaho. please let- me – out-soon
I lah you

i luh you

I thought that was your sexy ass

I was thinking about what you said, and I think we SHOULD see eachother more often.

i will break, i will enter, i will torch, i will shatter, i will rifle, i will pillage, i will probe, but i’m really not comfortable just talking to a girl.

I’m really concerned about this purity test…I’m a skank by 2 points.

If you treat a girl like dirt she’ll stick to you like mud

im not gonna eat that shit you fuckin retard
ethan- nobody calls me a retard! you freakin hobo!

It fell out of your hair that way!

It’s funny how you think you have life figured out, but then it just keeps on surprising you.

My girlfriend’s a doctor up in boston…I think I love her

Oh you fucked up. . . But you didn’t fuck up so much as you Fuuucked up.

Oh, c’mon- now, that’s my mom!

Oh, one, two, three hard nipples ::rubs nipples:: nope.

ok…now that one i dont get…. we’ll always be best friends, until u steal my pot of gold….heh heh heh…DON’T do that

So just on the boobies then?

Somethings wrong…::farts: and we’re back!

Thats right, and we’re adults so we don’t fight over seats.

the dirty old whore told me to do it

The dirty old whore told me to do it!

They call me Cool Ethan I live in Heineraker Hall.

They call me Cool Ethan, I live in Heinaraker Hall.

They call me cool ethan, i live in heineraker hall.

This is college, bag your own bitches.

wait..somethings not right…….(FART)……aaand we’re back!

we’ll make him clean teh fuckin bathrooms

we’ll make him clean the fuckin bathrooms

Well he fucked me, he fucked you, and now i got a tape of him F’in her!

well, i’m in the food service & i love bums, so…

Well, if you’re done trying to play hide the baloney pony, we got some stuff to eat…

Wow! [yells out the door] Masturbating… in the dorms. Well, that’s what you get when you go to art school.

Yeah maybe you wouldn’t need someone to fill out every test form if you stopped smoking these doobies smack jointheads.

Yes it was your fate to meet her but it was not your fate to be with her. Just as it is my fate to one day become shogun.

You know, I had a nickname for you but now i’m not gonna tell you………. okay i’ll tell you…. it was laser!

You treat a hot girl like dirt…and she’ll stick to you like mud.

You’re smart, i like you. I’ll probably give you a nickname

You’re so awesome, your room is so awesome, your phone is kick ass, and you know what? I love you.

your ass is grass and im the lawnmower

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