Movie Quotes from Scary Movie: Quotes from the movie Scary Movie

bobby i was worried that the killer had got to you before i could come upstairs i got something to show you hey party on

Come on in dear, have a seat and take of your bra if you’d like


#1. How close were you to the victim? #2 Real close until the roofies wore off then she started talking about pressing charges and just pulled my tongue out her ass and left.

#1:We have to call the police! #2:You have any idea what they do to young men in jail!? All of them lookin’ for a fresh piece of meat! #3:Hey, maybe Cindy’s right, maybe we should call the police.

(Bobby) This is just like a scene from a movie or somethin
(Cindy) only this isnt a movie bobby, this is real life
(bobby) no, its like a movie.. theres the sound guy..(points to corner of room)

(Doofy) No rinning!..blows whistle.. (kid) blow me (Doffy) alright

(gail) – Ew, is that drool? (Doofy)- yeah, i forgot to swallow.
(gail)- oh, well dont worry, cuz i never do!

*thump* (wife pops up) 1)did you hear anything? 2)uh, no, i didn’t!!!!

…Well, I was hoping to my balls licked, but…

1) (sitting on a couch, he holds a blanket up to himself, and his breath is coming out in little puffs, like when you’re outside in cold weather) Can I tell you a secret? 2) Sure, man. 1) I see dead people. 2) (laughing) That’s wild, dude!

1) Baby, talk dirty to me. 2) OK. (says some literally dirty stuff)……I’m gonna piss on these walls! I’m gonna fart in your mouth! 1) Gross! 2) Oh, I’m sorry, babe. Was that too dirty?

1) Cindy! Cindy, your ass looks fat! (person two punches person 1 so hard she gets knocked down.) 2) Bitch!!

1) If you see Bobby, tell him I love him.

2) Okay, if I see Bobby, I’ll tell him I love him.

1) Yeah! That’s my girlfriend! 2) Yeah, that’s my girlfriend too! 1) Hey shut the hell up

1) Yo momma 2) Shorty, you’re my brother, she’s your momma too. 1) Oh yeah, then your father’s stupid. 2) I don’t care, I don’t know him! 1) Yeah, me neither!

1)=Buffy Gilmore 2)=Miss Teen contestanr 3)Cindy Cambell
2)Buffy you have to go back on stage their calling your name!
1)But Greg I have to get to Greg…
2)But you won!
1)But I have to get to — I won? I WON!!!!
3)Buffy what about Greg?
1)Oh, fuck Greg I won out of my way loser, give me the crown bitch

1)Did you hear Drew Decker was muredered last night
2)oh no she sits next to me in english class
1)did you know her?
2)no i was gonna cheat of her test today
(((if you haven’t seen the dvd you wouldn’t of seen this bit)))

1)Hello Cindy I still know what you did last halloween…
I’m in the house ..hahaha.. I’m like the wind baby ..hahaha.. i could be anywhere ..hahaha..
2)your ,your behind the couch
1)..hahaha.. WHAT?
2) I can see your legs behind the seat
1)Oh shit

1)Kay, we’re going to throw him in the river. 2)Wait! Shouldn’t we take his wallet too? 3)Yeah, I mean we already killed him, we might as well rob his ass.

1)Mom says when I wear this badge you hafta treat me like a man of the law. 2)Mom also told you not to stick your dick in the vacuum cleaner!

1)She’s gone and she’s not coming back.
2)It’s been over a year now, you’ve gotta move on baby
1)But Ginger was such an important part of the spice girls


1)what’s your favourite scary movie?
2)oh i know, kazam you know when shaq plays the genie.
1)thats not a horror movie
2)well you haven’t seen shaq act
1)you never did tell me your name
2)why do yu want to know?
1)cause i want to know who im looking at, nice breasts
2)what do you want?
1)i want to see what your insides look like
2) well then turn to page 54, look my boyfreind will be here any minute and he’s black and he’ll kick your ass.
1)you mean the one that wears make up and dresses like a woman?
2)how’d you know?
1)turn the porch light on
2)thats not my boyfreind i mean i’ve fucked him a couple of times but thats it.
1)you forgot to lock the back door
2)(hitting the kids) take that you physco
4)owwww i cant feel my legs
5)i think my arm is broken
6)i want my mummy
2)oops sorry
1)hello drew

1)You’ve gotta go back on Buffy their calling your name
2)Greg? I’ve gotta get to Greg
1)But you won
2)But Greg..I won?
3)Buffy what about Greg?
2) Oh fuck Greg I won. Out of my way loser, give me the crown bitch

1. Does this shirt make me look gay?
2. No
1. Oh (takes bottom center of shirt and loops it through neckline). How about now?

1. Yo dog, does this shirt make me look gay? #2. No. #1 (adjusts shirt) What about now? #2. No.

1. You’re not the only one who got one Greg. 2. You mean Bobby’s got a baby dick too?

1. Hey Doofy, smell my finger. 2.) Ugh, smell mine 1.) Oh my god, ugh, what is that?!? 2.) My ass.

1. If you see Bobby could you tell him I love him 2. Ok, if I see Bobb I’ll tell him I love him

1: You better stop or else.
2: Or else what?
1: Or else my boyfriend will be here any moment. And he’s black and he’ll kick your ass!

ah shit son yo what the deal. if u watchin this tape right now u know i didn’t make it if i’m a prisoner or worse dead but i’m gonna tell y’all the rules to survive this situation 1.u gotta be quick 2.don’t fall down and 3.whatever u do,don’t look back.y’all wish me luck.SNATCH AND RUN Y’ALL!!

Alright Buffy knock it off
As you know there have been murders and the police have asked me to pass on these instructions.
1)Always stay in well lit areas
2)Never travel alone whenever possible
3)Always wipe front to back
and never ever believe any one when they say shaving your pubic hairs will rid you of crab infestation

And NEVER believe someone when they tell you : That shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crabb infestation

Any body want some chicken?

As you know there have been murder been going on around here and the police have asked me to forward these instructions.
1. always stay in well lit areas
2. never travel alone whenever necsacery
3. always wipe front to back and
4. never believe someone when they tell you shaving your pubic hairs will rid you of crab infestation.

aww shit,son.

Bobby: its ok baby, everything will be fine, just touch it agian, come on.

Bobby: Yeah I was just watching the exorcist and thought I come over.
Sid:Where you thinking of that one time when I puked green slime and masturbated with a crosafic? It was my first keg party, Bobby.

Brenda- Buffy is such a hoe! I don’t why your riends with her!
Cindy- I thinks she’s sweet…
Brenda- well you know Shaun?
Cindy- No
Brenda- Puff Daddy?
Cindy- Oh yeah…
Brenda- well, last summer I was at his pool party standing next to the pool, and I look over, and I see your girl, getting BUCKWOW in the jacuzi…with a BACKUP dancer! I mean that’s nasty! That’s lower than a security guard! At least they can get you backstage! She don’t love herself!

Brenda: Shorty you best be goin’ to class. Shorty: I dubee goin’ to class. Brenda: Lunch is not a class. Shorty: Well your mama! Brenda: She’s your mama too ya jackass. Shorty: Oh Well then your fatha. Brenda: So, I don’t know him. Shorty: Me either.

Brenda: Shorty, go home! I know you ain’t ridin without no papers! Shorty:I got papas, blunts, bongs, all the ingredients to make a high nigga pie!!


BUFFY- OMG guys we hit a boot
Greg- Where is the foot!

Buffy-Oh my god, we have to help greg, the killer. Girl-Buffy, they are calling you, they’re calling your name Buffy-Cindy, The killer got gregg Girl-BUFFY, YOU WON GO OUT THERE Buffy- But we have to…OH MY GOD I WON Cindy- But Buffy what about Greg? Buffy-Fuck Greg, I WON!!!

Can you see me now

Cindy ! Cindy ! You ass looks FAT !!!!!

Cindy! Your ass looks fat!

Cindy, your ass is fat!

Cindy: It was was Doofy!
Sheriff: Shithead?

Cindy: Oh wait, there’s Buffy!
Brenda: I don’t know why you hang out with her, she’s such a hoe…Last summer, my friend Shawn had a party
Cindy: Shawn?
Brenda: You know, Puff Daddy?…anyway, we was all drinkin that Crystile champagne and people was gettin freaky in the pool…and I look over and yo girl was gettin buckwild in the jacuzzi.
Cindy: So?
Brenda: With a back-up dancer! That’s nasty, that’s lower than security.. at least security can get you back stage! She don’t love herself!!!….HEY BABY GIRL!

Come in dear. Take off your bra if you’d like. – Ms. Man

Come in, Sit dow, take off your bra if you like.

Come on, Come on just touch it. NO i won’t ahh, uh uh uh uh

Cop – Hey Doofy smell my fingers. Doofy – Eww, what’s that? (Cops Laugh) Doofy – Smell my finger. Cop – Ohh what’s that? Doofy – My Ass.

dis is for schindler’s list and the jackie chan movies!
big mama’s house!

Do it again, do it again!

do you have a dollar?/eeww get away from me you bum/buffy, can’t you see the man’s just hungry…here you go sir..a nice sandwich for ya/i said a dollar..bitch!

Do you think this is funny? A small dick is like a disability man, would you make fun of a guy in a weelchair, WOULDCHA? Get over here and show yourself like a real man, you sick fuck!

Doofy: Hey! Hey no running!
Runner: Blow me!
Doofy: Alright.

Doofy:I went poopy!
Sheriff:Did you just say you went poopy?!
Doofy:Yeah. It was good.

Dufee: Gail Swallows!

Everywhere I go I see the same hoe!

Female) If you see Bobby, tell him I love him
Male) Okay, if I see Bobby, i’ll tell him I love him

For all you talkers up in here, it’s time to keep it down right now.

funny hahahahahaha

GAIL (on camara): there is 3 people dead KID: awww i am on camara kool!!!(Gail takes out her gun and shoots the kid)and says:4 people dead in this tragid accident

Gail Hailstorm (to Kenny)- OK..chubbslla listen up…This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, and if this little piggy doesnt role the fuckin’ camera im gonna stick my foot up his…(INTERUPTED BY KENNY) Were live!
Gail- Gail Hailstorm reporting live infront of the polive station where were going to try and get a glimpse of young Cindy Campbell…(to Kenny)Your on my foot fat shit. What did i say, what did i say
Kenny (to gail)- dont step on Gails shoes
Gail (to kenny)- why not
kenny- Gail has prom shoes
Gail- …o0o0 fuck you….CINDY, CINDY, CINDY your ass looks fat!
Cindy- [punch] BITCH!
Gail- OK, who cupped field?
Kenny- Im sry Gail, it was me, i only touched the top of the was so tender and juicy,
Gail- SHUT UP! [raises hand to Kenny]


Gail) Kenny, get the camera ready! Here, hold my gum! (spits out her gum at Kenny.)

Gail) What are you feeling right now, Heather? Heather) Lots of pain! Please help me, Gail! Gail) Ya know, I would, honey, but it’s sweeps!

Gail: Alright, who copped a feel? Kenny: Gail, it was I. I only touched the top of the breast… it was so tender and juicy. Gail: SHUT UP!

GAIL: Is that a muffin?
KENNY: Gail I was hungry.
Gail grabs it and throws it away

Gail: Ok, I’ll make it real simple for you.(puts up thumb) This little piggy went to market,(puts up middle finger)this little piggy stayed home. (points) and if this little piggy doesn’t roll the god dman camera I’m gonna put my fucking foot up his- Kenny: Gail, we’re live! Gail: Gail Hailstorm here, tyring to get a glimpse of Cindy Campbell…

Gail: What would have your last words to her? Shorty: RUN BITCH, RUN!!

get outta my face…get outta my face

Gimme my crown, bitch!

Goin to contest cause ill make u undress like porn dancers…..

Hello, I’m *name* author of the new book, ‘You’re Dead. I’m Rich.’, here at a school where one teenager- THAT’S IT! (takes out pistol and shoots boy) where two teenagers have been found dead.

Hello? Hello? i said dont disturb me while im cleaning my room!

hello? uh uh girl im in a movie….. uh shakAspear in love UH UH! YO LYIN!!!
For gods sake will u just shut your trap?!
shut up!
old on….. i dont know why yall is actin like this … my girlfriend already seen the movie and she said they dont even stay togetha in the end….

Hi Gail. Gail swallows.

Hi, I’m Gail Hailstorm author of the book You’re Dead, I’m Rich. A small college town is in shock after the unthinkable has happened. A brutal killing spree that has left one teen dead…that’s it…two teens dead and this small town shaken and stirred. It’s times like this…

I got papers, blunts, bongs.. All the ingredients to make a high nigga pie!!!

I got you. I got you on candid camera.


I told you not to disturb me when i’m cleaning my room. (vacuum cleaner rolls all over hitting the walls)

I told you not to disturb me when I’m vacuuming my room.

i told you to leave me alone when im cleaning my room

I want to see your insides Turn to page 28

I want to see your insides! Oh ok turn to page 48

I was hoping to get my balls licked

I’m here reporting live for Black News……White people dead we’re getting the Fuck out of here!!!!!

I’m so scared right now…

Im giving u 7 frickin days lady now shut up before i come over there and kick the shit out of u

It’s a disability man!

It’s laundry day.

It’s not the size of the hammer it’s the nail your driving it at!

its been a while…..

Its not the size of the hammer, its the nail you throw it at!

its not watching televsion shows that makes you violent its cancelling televesion shows that makes you violent

KENNY: Gail I can see your lilac
GAIL: What?
KENNY: I can see your fluffy
GAIL: My what? Kenny you’re not making any sense
KENNY: I can see your flower
GAIL: What?
KENNY: Nothing Gail I’m just talking nonsence

Kenny: I only touched one, they were so tender and juic- ah
Gail: SHUT UP!

ketchup…just like my mom puts on her spaghetti, baby!

Ki ki ki ! Cha Cha Cha !

Learn to quote the fucking movie right!



no running!(wistle blows) hey! no running!
shut up!

no,dont go in there

Not feeling so fresh? Feminine odor itching got you down?

oh bobby bobby iwas worried i thought the killer had got to you before i could

Oh do it again do it again (as the dick is sliding in and out of his ear)

oh my god, we hit a boot!

Oh shit! I’m on tv! First Cops, now this! Reporter: What would have been your last words to the victim? Run, bitch, run!

Oh wait is this the big climax, hope you don’t mind if I fake it!

Oh, thats not my boyfriend, I mean I fucked him a couple of times!

ok on 3 will trow himin the water ok 1-2- wait lets strip him,oh oh oh i get his boxers

Old lady: Your ass is grass (drags knife across throat of #2)

Ooooh, she’s about to get it on with Shakespeare!!

out of my face! out of my face! out of my face!

Out of the way, let him through! You don’t own the theater!

Reportin live from Black TV…White folks are dead and we’re getting the fuck outta here…

Reporting live for Black TV! White folks are dead, we’re getting the fuck out of here!

run bitch runnnn

She’s gone Bobby and she’s not coming back!
Look Cindy it’s been over a year now you’ve gotta move on baby!
But Ginger was such an important part of the Spice Girls

Sheriff: How are you today Cindy?
Cindy Campbell: Good, officer, how are you?
Sheriff: Bloated, constipated, got a boil on my ass the size of a walnut – you know, the usual.

Sheriff: What is that god-awful smell?
Doofy: I went poopy.
Sheriff: Did you just say you went poopy?
Doofy: Yeah, it’s good.

Sherrif:How r u Cindy? Cindy: Im good, how r u Sherrif? Sherrif: Bloaded, Constapated, got a boil the size of a walnut on my ass, u know, the usual

shit, im on TV, first cops now this, i’m gonna be a star son

Shorty: Rule Number One, you gotta be quick. Rule Number Two, don’t fall down! And Rule Number Three, Never Look Back! Y’all wish me luck. Snatch and run y’all!!

Clerk: Come back here you Motherfucker, you Son of a Bitch!!

Shorty:Holy shit man, i’m on tv. First COPS, now this. Man i’m gonna be a star. Reporter#1:What can you tell us about Drew Decker? Shorty:
Well, she had da fat ass. I mean it was big, really big. Reporter#2:How close were you to being the victim? Shorty:Real close, till the roofies wore off, she woke up an’ started talkin bout pressin charges, so i jus’ pulled my tongue outta ‘er ass and left. Reporter#3:What would of been your last words to her? Shorty:RUN,BITCH,RUN!!!!!!!

So, what’s wrong? Feminine odor/itching got you down?

Sometime you have to give them candy

Sorry wrong set

SUPRISE! (bashes voice recorder again) Supriiise Cindy..

Sydney: Don’t you find it weird that all these killings happen exactly 1 year ago..

Take it Brandon, take it Brandon…I mean Brenda

Thanks for ball…um ALL your help


The Wayans Brothers was a good show and we didn’t even geta final episode.

this is black entertainment white folk are dyin we getting the fuck outta here

this is for thellma and louise! for jackie can movies, and for big mamas house!

ugh! what’s that smell?/I went poopy!/did you just say you uh..went poopy?/ was good!


Watching television shows doesn’t make you violent. Canceling television shows makes you violent.

We already killed the guy, we might as well rob his ass!

Were live for black TV, two whites are dead, we get the fuck outa here… (someelse tryied this quote but they sucked at it)

What are you waiting for?
What am I waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

What can you tell us about the victim?
– She had a fat ass

What is up my sister?


Yeah and that sick bastard planted drugs all over the house

Yeah I got you! I got you on camera. You on candid camera now!

yeah i got you! I got you! your on candid camera!

Yeah i got you, i got you on camera, you on candid camera now

Yeah I got you. I got you on camera. You on candid camera now!

Yeah mom also told you to stop sticking your dick in the vacumn cleaner.

YEAH! thats my girlfriend!!!YEAH thats my girlfriend to!! yeah im hitting that too, alright buffy!!hey you wanna a peace of me?yeah best pussy i ever had!!yeah bring it on man!

yeh girl i’m in a movie…. mm hmm, shaka-spear in luhrve

you can slice him, you can dice him


you wanna play die cheerleader die

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