Movie Quotes from Return to Me: Quotes from the movie Return to Me

(1) I’m just saying, for safety, don’t shave your legs, because then you definitely won’t let it go too far.
(2) Megan, it’s a first date.
(1) I married a first date. I’m sure you plan on being level-headed, but once you’re in the moment, the male brain seems, I don’t know, everything they say suddenly seems brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.
(2) You should needlepoint that on a pillow.
(1) Hey, all I know is that it kept me a virgin until… well, whenever.

‘What do you expect most from a relationship? A: Companionship. B: Sex. C: Repsect.’ I’d have to go with B: Sex. But let’s mark ‘C’ so we get a higher score. …This is pathetic, I’m cheating on a magazine quiz.

(1) You’ll get a new heart and before you know it, you’ll be back in your garden, you’ll be painting… you’ll be getting asked out by fantastic men.
(2) I’m getting a new heart, not a new ass.

–Would you go out with me?
–Yes?
–Is that a question?
–No, it’s a yes. Yes.
–Tomorrow night?
–Yes.
–Eight o’clock?
–Yes.
–Pick you up here?
–Yes.
–My, you’re a very difficult woman.

-Then we went to see the gorillas and mommy said it was you
-Oh really?
-I did not
-Did mommy take you to see the elephants
-watch it joe

1) You dated Chooch Fortucci?
2) I don’t want that name said in this house! (Crosses herself)

1) God you smell good. 2) It’s the flowers. Not this particular flower cause it’s a tomato plant.

1) Watchin’ the game, huh? Then what’s the score?
2) The score? The score is…uh, the score is…the Cubbies are losin’, man!

1)Aunt Grace, do you hate priests? 2)No 1)Good, because if you do you’re going straight to hell.

1)Hairy legs are your only link to reality. 2)Can I get that cross-stitched on a pillow?

1)You came all the way to Italy? 2)I came all the way to Italy.

1. Bing Crosby played a wonderful priest. 2. Yeah, but he beat the hell out of his kids!

1. I told him she’d had some work done. 2. For God’s sake, Joe, she’s not a Buick!

1. I’ve put a special candle outside that repels all the bugs. Every species but one. 2. What species is that? 1. The saber-toothed fly.

1. What do you do? 2. I’m a Vet. 1. Oh. I didn’t go to Nam.

1. I might stop in at the Pussycat club ’cause I think one of their strippers quit.
2.Oh, don’t say stripper — God’s listenin’ to ya.

Angelo: Sophie got a perm today. Scalp was still burning so she went home early.
Marty: Oh of course she did. Why did I ask. Will you go find yourself a gondola.

Marty: Ah, this guy you’re talking about can’t sing at all.
Angelo: Can’t sing? Then how come he’s got such a big band?
Wally: To drown him out.

Megan: I’m just saying, for safety, don’t shave your legs, because then you definitely won’t let it go too far.
Grace: Megan, it’s a first date.
Megan: I married a first date. I’m sure you plan on being level-headed, but once you’re in the moment, the male brain seems…I don’t know, everything they say suddenly seems brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.
Grace: You should needlepoint that on a pillow.
Megan: Hey, all I know is that it kept me a virgin until… well, whenever.

Megan: You’ll get a new heart and before you know it, you’ll be back in your garden, you’ll be painting… you’ll be getting asked out by fantastic men.
Grace: I’m getting a new heart, not a new ass.

Megan: No stopping anywhere Joe. You come straight back here when you’re done with them.
Joe: I’m going to stop at a lap dancing bar.
Megan: Oh that’s so funny.

Ba-Bla-Bla-Bla! My Water?

Dan, the man! Bob, the slob!

elizabeth and i started dating when she was fifteen. so, this might sound juvenile, but can i hold your hand?

Elizabeth and I were married by the time we were twenty. We’d been dating since we were fifteen, so this may sound a bit jouvenille, but…can I hold your hand?

Everybody clap for Auntie Grace, she just mailed a very important letter!

For the love of God and all that is holy!!! He’s just a man!

Grace has Bob’s dead wife’s heart!

Hairy legs are your only link to reality.

Hairy legs are your only link to reality.

How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want no brown bananas!

I did some thinking..I realized..I miss Sarah, and I always will, but I ache for Grace.

I have never said ‘hell’ in this house, you son of a bitch!

I have never said hell, you son of a bitch.

i just can’t get used to being without it. eyah!

I miss Elizabeth, I will always miss her. But I ache for Grace.

I once dated a girl with a club foot. I mean she had the big shoe and everything.

I thought I told you I don’t want no brown bananas.

It’s me! It’s me, it’s Grace!

It’s not easy to dance when there’s no one leading.

It’s the character that’s the strongest that God gives the most challenges to.

Joe, put your shirt on or Grace may never be satisfied by another man!

Kid telling Dad about zoo trip: And Mommy took us to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you. Dad: Did she take you to see the elephants?

Look, kids!!! Sammy Sosa!!!

Marty: I prayed that Gracie would have a second change at life. I always knew that if God blessed us with a heart she got, would have to be from a very special person if it were going to be at home in Grace. When she met you, her heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always.

Matchy Matchy Green Squared

Matchy, matchy, Green.

Megan: Just think about it, Grace. Picture – riding a bike.
Grace (softly): Riding a bike…
Megan: That’s what you need to think about. And traveling. Painting in Europe. And dating really handsome men. That I know – it’s gotta happen for one of us.
Grace: I’m getting a new heart, not a new ass.

No…some of it is boiled in swiss water

oh you’ve got it, haven’t you?

Sometimes you have to run away to see if someone is gonna follow you.

we’re thinking about going to one of those water parks.

What do you expect most from a relationship? A:Companionship B: Sex C: Respect. I’d have to go with B: Sex. But lets mark C so we get a higher score….This is pathetic. I’m cheating on a magazine quiz

What was God thinking?

Whatever… Water, I just don’t want Swiss. I got sick on imported

Swiss water once. As long as it’s not Swiss or tap water, it’ll be

fine. Preferably, French.

(using her fingers to emphasize)

I’d like it cold, no ice, no glass, just the bottle and a straw.

(leaning forward)

You want to write it down?

You taught him hell, you son of a bitch.

You’d better put a shirt on…Grace will never be satisfied by another man.

your ass is ringing

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