Movie Quotes from Parenthood: Quotes from the movie Parenthood

(1) Is that what bothers you, that I did these things and that I did them with Todd. (2) Gee whiz Julie there’s so much about this that bothers me I don’t know where to start.

(1) Todd is very special to me. (2) And we have the pictures to prove it.

(1) You shouldn’t view Kevin’s problems as any kinda of failure on your part. (2) No…we’ll blame the dog.

(Karen): Do you really have to go?
(Gil): My whole life is HAVE TO!

(TRAFFIC COP) How’d this happen? (GILL) Show him honey.

1) He said he loved me. 2)Men say that. They all say that, then they cum.

1) She really needs a man 2) mom, this isn’t mine! this is Gary’s! (people on TV moaning and having sex) 1) that man reminds me of your grandfather

1) Woodstock? I was at Woodstock.
2) Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!

1. Another kid took Kevin’s money. 2. Which kid? 3. Never mind never mind can we just go? I wanna go. 1. It was that kid. 3. Never mind. 4. That kid? That kids not bigger than you go back and get yor money. 2. Dad let me handle it alright? Kevin do you want me to help you get your money back? 3. No can we just go? 2. OK? 4. OK? And that’s a little kid. Justin can beat up that kid. 2. Shut up dad would you just shut up! 3. I lost my retainer.

1. I happen to like the roller coaster ok? As far as I’m concerned your grandmother is brilliant! 2. If she’s so brilliant how come she’s sitting in the neighbor’s car?!

1. I’m shrinking.
2. Bummer!

1. If he thinks I’m having this baby now, he’s crazy! *storms out the door* 2. Baby?

1. Is this grandma? 2. Yeah she’s still alive.

1. Please get down off the horse before you hurt yourself. 2. Honey I gotta make a big exit. That’s cowboy Gil’s woman. Take a bow little ladie. 1. Hi hi 2. I sure hope when I mosey on back this way you don’t mind if I stop in and say hello. Tihoo(goofiest laugh)

1. Todd 2. What’s up? Did you get the tweekies? 1. I found this in the trunk of your car. (Holds up a racing helmet)Your racing again aren’t you? 2. Yeah so what? 1. So you promised that’s what. 2. I changed my mind. 1. You changed you mind. 2. Yeah I changed my mind. 1. What about house painting? 2. I gave it up. 1. You gave it up? That was your future. 2. Well, Dave and Ron sort of took the equitment and split and I don’t know where they are. 1. I told you not to trust those guys didn’t I tell you? 2. I’m not as smart as you are are. I didn’t get 13,000 on my SAT’s. I’m stupid OK? 1.OK 3. Julie? 1. But out! 4. Maybe I should leave. 2. No, maybe I should leave. 1. What do you mean maybe? (He leaves) 5. Todd? What is it with the women in this family? They make all the men in this family wanna leave. 1. Well if he thinks I’m having this baby now he’s crazy. 3. Baby? 4. Your daughters having a baby? 3. A baby? 4. Your gonna be a grandma? 3. Oh no no no no you know grandmothers are old. They bake and they sow and they tell you stories about the depression. I was at Woodstock for Christ sake. I peed in a field. 4. I was at Woodstock. 3. Oh yeah? I thought you looked familair. (Makes herself a big drink.

1. When you’re sliding in home and pants are full o’ foam, diarrea! 2. Kevin, where did you learn that awful song? 1. Last summer at camp. 3. Ah, that was money well spent.

1. You know when I was 19, grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up down, up down, Oh what a ride. 2. What a great story.

1.He likes to butt things with his head *nervous laugh* 2: How proud you must be.

1.He likes to butt things with his head. 2.How proud you must be.

Dave called. He was crying. He actually cried.

Do you know why I’m having sex with machinery? Because your father left to have a party and I stayed to raise to kids and I have no life!! God Dammit!!

Friends slow down, they even stop.

Giiiiiiiiiiiil… Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave *rolls eyes*

GILL – hey honey TYLER- hi daddy GILL- you wanna feel sick TYLER ok (she projectile vomits and bursts into tears MOM oh tyler baby come here lets get you cleaned up, well Gill what you doing just standing there GILL – i dunno waiting for her head to rotate

Gill: If shes so smart how come she’s sitting in out neighbours car?



He was slapping the salami.

Hey Grandma, your getting short! I’m shrinking

Hi gary

i am going to leave before i say something really nasty to you
#2 you mean you have something worse than the battery remark?

I assume you’re watching these because you’re curious about sex…or

I happen to like the rollercoaster story.

It’s an electric ear cleaner.
It was kinda big.
It sure was!!

Kevin: You made me play second base. Gil: (Talking into the loud speaker) Son I’m sorry I did the best I could. (His son shoots the loud speaker his father is holding.) Nice shot son! It’s important to be supportive. Come on let’s sing one of the old tunes. When your slidding into home and your shorts are full of foam diarria.

Let me….add a wrinkle.

Let´s go watch the horse shit!

My whole life is have to…

Nathan we’re trying so hard to keep these kids off drugs.

Okay about a month ago he got his first… boner… do you know what that is? great! so ever since then he’s been… slapping the salami

Patty, this is a blackout, it’s a temporary interruption in the electrical supply of the home.

Some guy with glasses in a labcoat makes that decision…I make the deal.

Someone in this house ought to be having sex, at least with something that doesn’t require batteries!

That is one messed up little dude.

thats great you gotta a wife ana a nice family and i’m a gad damn amalgam

The first time I got laid, it was in a car like this.

Tod: Julie! I thought I’d find you here.
Julie: What does that make you Sherlock Holmes? I live here!

We should have a dozen; and pretend they’re donuts!

When you sittin in your Chevy and your shorts are feelin’ heavy..diarrhea, diarrhea…when you’re slidin’ into first and you’re feelin somethin’ burst diarrhea, diarrhea…when you’re slidin’ into home and your shorts are full of foam diarrhea, diarrhea.

You know what? You need a license to drive a car, or to buy a car, hell…you need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any asshole be a father

You know, you need a license to but a dog, or to drive a car, hell you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any but-reamin’ asshole be a father.

You leave my sister alone!

You worry too much…you always did.

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