(1) For God’s sake, do something. Say something.
(2) What? What do you say to a man who’s crying in your bathroom?
(1) Funny, I haven’t thought of a woman in weeks.
(2)I fail to see the humor
(1) God help me.
(2) Never mind helping you!. Tell him to save my meatloaf!
(1) I’m in for a quarter.
(2) Aren’t you going to look at your cards first?
(1) What for? I’m gonna bluff anyway.
(1) Where ya going?
(2) To the John.
(1) You are not going anyplace until you take it back.
(2) Take what back?
(1) Let it be on your head. What the Hell is that, the curse of the cat people?
(1)A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!
(2) Wait a minute, will ya?! We don’t even know what kind!
(1) What difference does it make?! He took a whole bottle!
(2) Well, maybe they were vitamins! He could be the healthiest one in the room!
(1)Who wants food?
(2) What do ya got?
(1) I’ve got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Which one do ya want?
(2) What’s the green?
(1)It’s either very new cheese, or very old meat.
(2) I’ll take the brown.
(Murray)How many cards you got? (Speed)Four cards. We all have four cards. If you gave us one more we’d all have five. If you gave us two more we’d all have six. You understand how it works now?
(Murray)Take away his belt and his shoelaces.
(Speed)You look at your watch once more you get the peanuts in your face!
–Can’t you just heat it up?
–Heat it up? What the hell am I, the Magic Chef?
–What’s the hell’s so funny?
–It’s not spaghetti, it’s linguini.
–Now it’s garbage!
-he’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in the drive-in movie.
1) I can cook. I’m a terrific cook. 2) You don’t have to cook. I’ve got enough potato chips to last me a whole year.
1/_I’m telling you, I’m worried…. I know Felix. He’s gunna try something crazy.
2/_You mean you just threw him out?
3/_That’s right, I threw him out. It was my decision. All right, I admit it. Let it be on my head.
2/_Let what be on your head?
3/_How should I know? Felix put it there…. Ask him.
1/_In other words, you’re throwin’ me out!
2/_Not *in other words*….those are the perfect ones!
1/_Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I’ll call your wife and tell her you’re in Central Park wearing a dress.
2/_I was undercover!!
1/_What are you, crazy, letting him go to the john alone?
2/_Suppose he tries to kill himself!
3/_How’s he gunna kill himself in the john?
2/_Whaddaya mean, how?… razor blades, poison, anything that’s in there.
3/_Nah, that’s the kids bathroom….. The worst he could do in there is brush his teeth to death.
1/_What if he’s lying in a gutter somewhere?…. Who would know who he is?
2/_He’s got 92 credit cards in his wallet….. The minute something happens to him, America lights up.
Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
Don’t threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it’s not a threat. With my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do.
Don’t threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it’s not a threat…. with my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do!
Getting a clear picture on Channel 2 is not my idea of whoopee
Getting a clear picture on Channel Two is not my idea of *whoopee*!
greed,treachery,violence,selfishness,deceit..all the qualities that made this country great.
Hello? Divorced, Broke, and Sloppy.
Hey, did you know Felix was once locked in a john overnight? He wrote out his entire will on half a roll of toilet paper!
His refrigerator has been out of order for two weeks now. I saw milk standing in there that wasn’t even in the bottle!
I cant stand it anymore Felix … I’m cracking up…… everything you do irritates me…… I hate it when you put little notes on my pillow……I told you 138 times….. don’t put little notes on my pillow…….
*We are all out of cornflakes ……….F.U.*
It took me 3 hours to figure out that *F.U.* stood for Felix Unger…….
I cant stand it anymore Felix….. I’m cracking up….. everything you do irritates me…. I hate it when you put little notes on my pillow……I told you 138 times….. don’t put little notes on my pillow…….
We are all out of cornflakes ……….F.U.
It took me 3 hours to figure out that F.U. stood for Felix Unger…….
I love you almost as much as you do.
It’s not spaghetti, it’s linguine. Now it’s garbage.
Life goes on for even those of us who are divorced broke and sloppy……. (answers the phone) Nyelllo!! divorced broke and sloppy????
Life goes on, even for those of us who are divorced, broke, and sloppy.
Look at this. You’re the only man in the world with clenched hair.
Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I’ll call your wife and tell her you’re in Central Park wearing a dress.
Murry, I’ll give you $200 for your gun.
nobody likes black meat
They’re here!… The dinner guests…. I’ll go get a saw and cut the meat!
Why doesn’t he hear me? I know I’m talking, I recognize my voice.
Why don’t you live in a closet? I’ll leave your meals outside the door and slide in the newspapers.
You can’t spend the rest of your life crying, it annoys people in the movies.
You want to do me a really big favor? Smoke toward New Jersey.
You’re not nothing, you’re something! You’re a person! You’re flesh, and blood, and bones, and hair, and nails, and ears! You’re not a fish. You’re not a buffalo.
You’re you! You walk, and talk, and cry, and complain, and eat little green pills, and send suicide telegrams. No one else does that, Felix, no one!
You’ve just been invited to spend the evening in a two bedroom hothouse with the coo-coo Pigeon sisters! What do you mean you’re not going?!
[answers the phone] N’yellllooo… Oscar the poker player??
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Odd Couple, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Odd Couple, The’