#1. Tonight was no good for me. I cheated today. #2. You cheated? #1. I had a Nestle’s crunch bar. #2. (Food!) #1. I feel like dirt. I don’t know why you put up with me!
(1) Are you excited?
(2) Like the French when Lindberg landed.
(1) Chuck, what are you, like, getting a haircut?
(2) No, I just like wearing sheets.
(1) What’s in here? Just stiffs and stuff?
(2) No, we call them corpses.
(1) Can I take a peek?
(2) Sure.
(1) Alright!
(1) You wanna be dead?
(2) Huh?
(1) You wanna be dead?
(2) No.
(1) Well, let me know if you change your mind.
(1) While we sit here and idealy chat, there are women, female human beings, rolling around with strange men in strange beds and we are making money from that! (2) Is this a great country, or what?
(1)Could you do me a favor? Would you please shut up?!
(2) You telling me to shut up?
(1) I’m telling you to shut up! I’ll tell your recorder so that you don’t forget. Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to shut up!
(1)How hard is it to pass out towels, numbnuts? (2)Well, it’s a skill like anything else.
(1)Why don’t you come to bed?
(2) I just want to lose six more pounds.
(1) Tonight? Why don’t you run into bed? Maybe you’ll lose some pounds along the way.
(Bill)That guy’s dead!
(sex club owner)How hard is it to pass out towels, numbnuts? (Bill)Well, it’s a skill like anything else.
–Are you excited?
–Like the French when Lindbergh landed.
1: You see this dash? Solid gold. The carpet? Fur. The windows?
2: Glass?
3: Well, yeah.
1: You see this dash? Solid gold. The carpet? Fur. The windows? 2: Glass? 3: Well, yeah.
All you ever think about is yourself. You don’t care about what happens to me. You don’t care about what happens to Belinda. You don’t care about what happens to the Girl Scouts of America…America. I’m fed up…I’m fed up, man. I wash my hands and my feet of you. Trim that!
Bill (Michael Keaton) and Chuck (Henry Winkler) are at the DA’s office trying to get out of trouble when Bill gets the idea that they can blackmail the Mayor and still keep the game going. Bill is in a hurry so he doesn’t miss his tennis lesson.
Chuck: I want my old life back.
Bill: No.
Chuck (yelling): If you do not give me my old life back, if you go back in there and keep making demands, you are going to play tennis WITH GOD!
Boy, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.
Came all that way just to spit on him.
Can you turn that down?
Yeah I can turn it up, I can turn it down, I switch it from the front to the back. Look, (motions to the window) tinted windows. (Flips the bird to the police driving beside them) We got teenage girls in here!!
Edible paper.
Feed the mayo to the tuna fish. Call starkist.
Feed the tuna mayonaise.
He’s my avon man.
He: She sells cowboy hats She: the man was in his underwear He: And cowboy underwear
Hold the phone, hold the phone! Edible paper! You eat it, it’s gone… you eat it, it’s outta there! No more garbage!
How long are you going to be on that thing?
Until the wedding.
That’s 9 months.
Well, you want me to look good,don’t you?
I don’t know about you people. This is a morgue. You’re partying in a morgue!
I don’t know about you people. This is a morgue. You’re partying in a morgue!
I wanted one of these, but this one’s better ‘cuz I didn’t have to pay for it!
I wash my hands and my feet of you!
I wash my hands and my feet of you!
I’m alright. Fortunately, the ground broke my fall.
I’m alright. Fortunately, the ground broke my fall.
I’m an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can’t even fight them off!
Is this a great country or what?
Mother goes to a seance every Friday night since my father died just so she can still yell at him.
My father’s still alive and I never buy him anything. You’re like a saint.
Because I bought my father a headstone?
Name of deceased: something Polish?!?!
Pimps is an ugly word. We can call ourselves ‘love brokers’.
Pimps? Those guys are killers! They dress nice, though.
Pimps? Those guys are killers! They dress nice, though.
So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash ‘n’ dries… did I tell you I had they idea for them first?
Sometimes it helps to understand a word if you break it down, so let’s do that now shall we? PROS..it doesn’t mean anything, you can forget about that..TIT, I think we all know what that means, TWO, two tit and TION of course, from the Latin to shun..to say uh-uh no thank you anyway I don’t want it, to push away…it doesn’t even belong in this word really.
That Barney Rubble – what an actor!
This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper.
This is Bill. Mission in life: Make Chuck a man.
This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper!
This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!
This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!
Wait a minute! Why don’t they just mix the mayonnaise with the tuna in the can… HOLD THE PHONE! Why don’t they just FEED the tuna fish mayonnaise?!
We had to be pimps, we had to be pimps! We couldn’t be Doctors!
We’re all adults here – we can talk about this openly… [writing on chalkboard] PROSTITUTION! But what does that mean really? Let’s break up the word. First there’s Pros… well, that doesn’t mean anything really… then there’s Tit… we all know what that means… and then there’s shun to shun is to say No! To push it away! To shun something is, well… it really doesn’t belong in this word at all, really.
What am I, running for cell President?
Hey Chuck, they have that?
What’s the matter? By the time I get there they won’t be dead anymore?
You don’t care about me, Belinda, or the Girl Scouts of America!
You wanna know why I carry a tape recorder? It’s to tape things.
You were great! People were shooting over you and you just laid there. You never complained once! And, I want you to know I admired that.
You’re a willow….you’re a reed….you’re Audrey Hepburn.
You’re history, pal. You’re in the archives!!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Night Shift’: Quotes from the movie ‘Night Shift’
