Movie Quotes from Murder by Death: Quotes from the movie Murder by Death

#1)Any children?
#2) One daughter: Irene. But, she insists on calling herself Rita.
#1) Just like a dame.

#1)I can feel it in my buns.
#2)Buns? Where did you get buns?
#1)No, monsiuer, the buns in my body.

#1)Twain has no pinkies.
#2)You mean he’s only got 8 fingers?
#1)No, he has 10. He just doesn’t have any pinkies.

#1- Murder by starvation maybe that’s his game, hmm. What do you think Sam? #2- I don’t know Jess why don’t you ask the moose on the wall he’s been watching us since we came in.

#1-Oh, there, voice come from cow on wall…
#2-Moose, moose you imbecile!

#1-Since we cannot call for a doctor, I will need a cold compress for my chauffeur, and a cup of hot chocolate for me, n’est ce pa? #2-I don’t think we have any Nespa, sir. Just Hershey’s.

#1-There’s nothing on him ’til ’46, when he was picked up in El Paso, Texas, for trying to smuggle a truckload of rich white Americans across the border into Mexico to pick melons. #2-I think we picked ourselves a queer bird, Angel.

#1-Very interesting theory, Mr. Charleston. However, leave out one important point. #2-What’s that? #1-Is stupid. Is stupidest theory I ever heard.

#1-What meaning of this, Mr. Twain? #2-I will tell you, Mr. Wang, if YOU can tell me why a man who possesses one of the most brilliant minds of this century can’t say his prepositions or articles. *THE*, Mr. Wang. ‘What is THE meaning of this?’

#1-Why don’t I stand guard? You look all over the body. #2-All right, we’ll take turns. You look over the first dead, naked body that we find and I’ll look over the second.

#1: All go to study. My son will cover up remains of Mr. Twain. #2: Pop, why do I have to do the dirty work? #1: Because your mother not here to do it.

#1: And what is your name? #2: Bensonmum. #1: Thank you, Benson. #2: No, my NAME is Bensonmum. #3: Bensonmum? #2: Yes sir. Jamesir Bensonmum. #3: Jamesir Bensonmum? #2: Yes, sir. #3: How odd! #2: My father’s name, sir. #3: What was? #2: Howard. Howard Bensonmum. #3: Your father was Howard Bensonmum? #1: Stop it Dickie, I’ve had enough.

#1: Mr. Charleston, you not approve of wife dying hair blonde? #2: Excuse me? #1: Mrs. Charleston hair red. You have blonde hair on shoulder. Either she has dyed red hair to blonde, and back again to red, or else, you have been…sorry, Wang is wrong.

–A mannequin.
–No, a dummy.

–Did you see that?
–Neither did I.

–Good evening. We have been expecting you.
–Yes, but in what condition?

–He had one daughter, thirty-two, her name’s Irene, but she calls herself Rita.
–Just like a dame.

–I’m scared, Sam. Hold me.
–Hold yourself. I’m busy.

–Is he dead?
–With a thing like that in his back, in the long run, he’s better off.

–It is late and my eyes are getting tired.
–I thought they always looked like that.

–Mr. Diamond, there’s a bullet hole in your jacket.
–You should see the other guy.

1) Murder-poo? 2) Yes dear, we’re going to have a murder-poo. Won’t that be nice?

1. What is your name? 2. Bensenmum. 1. Well, thank you Bensen. 2. No, Bensenmum. 3. Your name is Bensenmum? 2. Jamessir Bensenmum. 3. James Bensenmum? 2. No, Jamesir Bensenmum. 3. How odd. 2. My father. 3. Your father… 1. Don’t Dickie.

1.) I don’t get it. First they steal the body and leave the clothes, then they take the clothes and bring the body back. Who would do a thing like that?
2.) Possibly some deranged dry cleaner.

1.) Oh, that’s probably the cook. Come in!
2.) Darling, the poor woman is stone deaf.
1.) I’m sorry, I forgot. COME IN!!

Answer is simple; but question very hard!

Be quiet everyone! I smell something!

Calm yourself. Man who argues with cow on wall is like train without wheels: very soon get nowhere.

Conversation like television set on honeymoon: unnecessary.

Dick Charleston: Up there, Dora, look – a blind butler. Dora Charleston: Don’t let him park the car, Dickie.

Do not mistake what you assume. They never left the dining room. Count the numbers one to ten…turn the knob and try again.

His mother was Roman Catholic, his father was an Orthodox Jew. They were separated two hours after the marriage.

I gotta go to the can again. I don’t wanna miss nothin’!

I’m not a Frenchie, I’m a BELGIE!

I’M number 1! I’M number 1! SAM DIAMOND of SAN FRANCISCO: To me you look like number 2, know what I mean!

Idiot! Not finished mushroom story. You idiot!

IT! IT is confusing! Say your goddamn pronouns!

Jamesir Bensonmum: She murdered herself in her sleep, sir.
Dick Charleston: You mean suicide?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Oh no, it was murder, all right. Mrs. Twain HATED herself.

Locked from the inside. That can only mean one thing. And I don’t know it is.

Locked, from the inside. That can only mean one thing. And I don’t know what it is.

Mrs. Charleston’s hair red. You have blond hairs on shoulder. This means she has dyed red hair blond, then back again to red, or else you have been… So sorry, Wang is wrong.

No pulse, no heartbeat. If condition does not change, this man is dead.

Room filled with empty people.

room full of empty people

Sam, you’re spitting on the nurse.

Sam:)Stop, nobody move!! someone:) What is it? Sam:)I have to go to the can again! I don’t wanna miss nothin!


So sorry, Wang is wrong.

The last time that I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940. She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later, the Germans marched into France.

Two Two Twain’s house

Un, deux, trois, jump, I say! ::walks over man on floor:: Sloopy!

Wang is wong.

Where is the butler? And why has he not returned…(Screams hysterically)…WITH OUR DINNER!

Where’s my Dickie? (silence) Right, sorry. Where’s my husband?

You’ve tricked and fooled your readers for years. You’ve tortured us all with surprise endings that made no sense. You’ve introduced characters in the last five pages that were never in the book before. You’ve withheld clues and information that made it impossible for us to guess who did it. But now, the tables are turned. Millions of angry mystery readers are now getting their revenge. When the world learns I’ve outsmarted you, they’ll be selling your $1.95 books for twelve cents.

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