Movie Quotes from Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Quotes from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith

–Any last words?
–The new curtains are hideous.

–Hi ya, stranger.
–Hi ya back.

–If you had it all to do over again, would you still have married me?
–Honestly, no.

–To dodging bullets.
–To dodging bullets.

(1) How often do you have sex?
(2) I don’t understand the question.

(1) There’s this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with all the things we don’t say to each other. What’s that called?
(2) Marriage.

Actually, I got all my dough buried under the toolshed.

Angelina: Happy endings are for stories that haven’t ended yet.

As me the sex question again. Its definately a 10.

Baby, you couldn’t find the button with both hands and a map.

Beginner’s luck.

Brad to Angelina: I though you looked like Christmas morning..
I can’t find any other word to describe it..

Brad: I’m gonna lay out your options now. Option A- You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B- You don’t talk, I remove your thumbs with my plyers. It will hurt. Option C- I like to vary the details on this one, but the punch-line is you die.

Brad: Idon’t really keep count..but maybe high fifties, low sixties? you?
Angelina: 312!
Angelina: Some were two at a time.
Brad: …..(turns head away)
Angelina: Honey?
Brad: Just give me a minute

Dr:How’s the sex?
Mrs.Smith:I’m sorry i’m confused.

Happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet.

I can’t believe I brought my real parents to our wedding.

I can’t imagine anything hanging in the closet shrinking so much.

I live with my mom because I choose to. She’s the only woman I’ve ever trusted.

I said I saw your father on Fantasy Island.

I thought you were the most beautiful mark I had ever seen.

I will never forget you in that little blue dress.

I’d give five bucks to see that cat take a sip of that soup.

I’m the suburban housewife, sweetheart.

In the end you start to think about the beginning

It was a joint task force by both your companies.

It’s never gonna work because you constantly underestimate me.

Jane: If you dont like them, just say so, we can return them.
Jon: Alright, I dont like them.
Jane: You’ll get used to them.

Jane: Jon.. My parents.. They died when I was eight, I’m an orphan. Jon: Then Who was that kindly fellow that gave you away at our wedding? Jane: Paid actor. Jon: I told you.. I told you I saw your dad on Fantasy Island.

Jane: What is her name and social security number?
Jon: No, honey you can’t kill her.

jane: why do I get the girl gun?

John Smith: Dance with me.
Jane Smith: You don’t dance.
John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: Was sloth your cover, too?

John: Chicken Shit!
Jane: Pussy!

John: You only brought these out for special occassions. Jane: This is a special occassion.

John:I was married before this.
Jane: What’s her name and social security number?
John: You’re not going to kill her.

Jon shoots at Jane’s car, she tries to run him over: Honey, I didn’t mean it! You’re overreacting! Come on, we don’t want to go to bed angry…
We need to talk!

Jon: And you can’t cook
Jane: I haven’t cooked a day in my life

Jon: Come on Baby come to Daddy.
Jane: Who’s your daddy now?

Jon: Did you do something different?
Jane: I added Peas
Jon: Ah peas…

Let me guess. Shaped charge on the counter-balance cable. Two more on the primary and secondary brakes.

Man) Aren’t you a vegan? Woman) No. My girlfriend is.

Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right there!



Pot roast is my favorite.

She’s like Batman for computers.

Shrink: How many years have you been together?
John: Five
Jane: Six
John: Five or Six

Shrink: How often do you have sex?
Jane: I’m confused…
Shrink: In a week, how many times?
Jon: Is it including the weekend?
Jane: Is it on a 1 to 10 scale again? because technically, nothing would have to be…zero

Still alive baby?

Target profile is our main priority. Utilize all means necessary.

Thanks for givin’ me the shaft.

Two competing agents living under the same roof. It’s bad for business.

Very well then. Let’s pop the hood.

We need this quick, clean and contained.

We need to talk!

You approached our marriage like a job – something to be reconned, planned and executed.

You have no idea what I’m capable of.

You have to have a foundation of friendship, brother. The other stuff fades.

You know, there will always be challenges.

you live with you mom!….she happens to be a first class lady….she is the only women i have ever trusted!

You obviously want to kill me, and I’m starting to be less and less concerned for your well-being.

You’re aim is almost as bad you’re cooking, sweetheart!

Your aim’s as bad as your cookin’

Zero percent A.P.R. til March.

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