Movie Quotes from Misery: Quotes from the movie Misery

– Annie, whats the matter?
– Whats the MATTER? I’ll tell you what’s the matter. I go out of my way for you. I do EVERYTHING to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you. And what thanks do I get? ‘Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie! I can’t write on THIS paper, Annie!’ Well, I’ll get your stupid paper, but you just better start showing me a little more appretiation around here, MISTER MAN!!!!!!
– Ahhh!

– Everybody talks like that.
– They do NOT! What do you think I say when I go to the feed store in town? ‘Oh, now Wally, get me a bag of that f-ing pig feed, and 10 lbs. of that bitchly cowcorn.’ And and and at the bank do I go to Mrs. Bollinger and go ‘Oh, here’s one big BASTARD of a check give me some of your Christing money?’

-Annie, whatever you’re thinking about doing, please don’t do it. God sa…
-Shhh, darling. Trust me.
-God sakes!
-Its for the best.
-Almost done, just one more. *crunch*
-God I love you

-Just leave it alone, alright? I told you I have a system. -Well, what are you looking for. -The thing. -What thing? -The THING! See here it is right where it’s supposed to be.

1)…and to give it that little extra zip I mix in Spam with the ground beef.

1.)You. You dirty bird. How COULD you? She can’t be dead. Misery Chastain cannot be dead!
2.)Annie, in 1871 women often died in childbirth. But her spirit’s the important thing and Misery’s spirit is still alive.
2.)No, I didn’t!
1.)WHO DID?!?!
2.)No one. She died, she just slipped away.
1.)Slipped away? SLIPPED AWAY? She didn’t just slip away! You did it! You did it! You did it! You did it! You murdered my Misery!!!!

1: What’s the ceiling that dago painted?
2: The Sistine Chapel?

You cockadoodie! you poop!

And don’t think anyone’s coming for you. Not the doctors, not you’re agent, not you’re family, because I didn’t call them. And you better hope nothing happens to me, because if I die, you die.

And there was rocket man, and he’s just about to go over the cliff, when he jumps free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn’t cheer. I stood right up and sharted shouting, This isn’t what happened last week, have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn’t fair! He didn’t get out of the cockadoodie CAR!!

Annie) It’s the swearing, Paul. It has no nobility. Paul) These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that. Annie) THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in’ pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn? At the bank do I say, Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money! THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

Annie, whatever you’re thinking about doing, please don’t do it.

Don’t feel bad Paul


God, I love you.


Here do you want it? EAT IT!!! Eat it, you sick twisted FUCK!

Here you want it?!?! Here have it eat it till you choke you sick twisted fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan.

I have a big surprise for you, but first there’s something you must do.

I know this isn’t the only copy. When you were 21 and made wrote your first novel, you only made one copy because you didn’t think anyone would take you seriously. And they did. And you haven’t made any copies since, because you’re superstitious. You told that story to Merv Griffin 11 years ago.

I love you, Paul. You’re mind; your creativity. That-that’s all I meant.

I thought you were good Paul, but you’re not good. You’re just another lying old dirty birdy, and I don’t think I’d better be around you for awhile.

I thought you were good Paul. But you’re not good. You’re just another lying old dirty birdy. And I don’t think I better be around you for awhile.

I’m going to get you, you cocksucker!!!!!

I’m not stupid, you know!

I’m your number one fan

I’m your number one fan.

Now that’s an oogie mess.

Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.

Oh forgive me Paul for prattling away and making everything all oogy.

Oh my goodness Oh my goodness Heavens to Betsey Oh my goodness Oh my goodness Heavens To Betsy

Oh, it’s so romantic! This house is going to be filled with romance! GASP!! I’M GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!!!

Oh, Paul!

OH, This whole house is going to be full of romance, OOOH, I AM GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!

Ohhhhh, Misery’s alive! Misery’s alive!

Paul, do you know about the early days of the Kimberly Diamond mines? Do you know what they did to the native workers who stole diamonds? Don’t worry, they didn’t kill them, that would be like junking your Mercedes just because it has a broken spring. No, if they caught them, they had to make sure they could go on working, but they also had to make sure they could never run away. The operation was called Hobbling.

Paul, the book you wrote just isn’t fair.

Still got it.

There is a judgement higher than that of man; I will be judged by Him.

Think of me as your inspiration.

To Misery.

Virginia, when your on duty you’re not my wife, you’re my deputy. -Well, this deputy would rather be home under the covers with the sherriff.

Well isn’t that an oogy mess?

Whats the ceiling that Dago painted?
The sistine chapel?

You crazy bitch.


You…You dirty bird.

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