Movie Quotes from Loser: Quotes from the movie Loser

1) do you have a girfriend? 2)HAD a girlfriend. she lost some weight so she’s dating a lot more now.

1) Florence Nightingale, what was Kafka saying about free will versus destiny? 2) I don’t think it’s about free will versus destiny. 1) You don’t? Would you mind telling us what it is about? 2) Well, somtimes you’re so powerless that the only thing you can control is how little you can live on. 1) Interesting. You’ve managed to reduce the father of modern literature into an anorexic teenage girl!

1) Here, take this. 2) Charcoal? 3) Uh-huh… I can start a fire in your heart!

1) What was that? 2) a Kiss 1) You call that a kiss? ((SMOOCHES))

1)Charcoal? 2)Mm-hmm. So I can start a fire in your heart.

1)Do you think you could turn it down just a skosh? 2)A skosh? What the hell is that?

1)Going bald sucks. 2)They say it comes from your mother. 1)My mom’s got hair, you know. 1)Yeah, I’m sure she does.

1)Hey, has anybody seen my toothbrush? 2)You can’t find it? Shit. You better find that thing man, those things can cost up to $2.50. 3)Yeah, and yours had such a nice handle, man.

1)Hey, that looks like a penis, but smaller. 2)Don’t knock it till you tried it.

1)How about AIDS? 2) Oh, yeah, there’s a mood setter!

1)How long have I been asleep? 2) Since Friday night.

1)I’m not like you guys, I mean you can just drink all night and still pass. You must be really intelligent. 2)Trust me, we’re not.

1)Not good? 2)No. That dude’s 90% weiner. 1)Really? 2)Yeah. Even on the small screen that’s gonna hurt ya.

1)Paul? 2)What? 1)Are you hitting my bitch? 2)No! No, I’m not hittng your bitch. I’ve never hit your bitch, nor would I ever hit your bitch!

1)So which do you like better? Yellow or checks? 2)Why? 1)So I know which kind of cab to call when we’re done.

1)That’s for the animals. You don’t need flea medication, do ya? 2) I don’t know man, he has slept with a lot of dogs.

1)we’ll just chill in. 2)You mean, chill out? 1)Whatever.

1)what can I get ya? 2) Your panty hose. 1) How about a screwdriver, they’re really good here. 2)I’ll give you fifty dollars for ’em. 1) You know you can get 3 for 10 dollars at Wal-mart.

1)You have a girfriend? 2)Ex-girfriend. We dated in high school. 1)Do you still see her? 2)No. She lost some weight over the summer, so she’s dating a lot more now. You know how it goes.

1)You think I don’t know anything! 2)I thnk you know how to walk in a pair of platform Mary Janes. I think you know how to style your hair with an egg beater. Save a little time by layering 2, 3 weeks worth of eyeliner.

1. I’m her boyfriend I can take her with me. 2. I thought you said you just found her like that. 2. I did and boy was I mad.

1.)I dont think its about free will versus destiny. 2.) you dont? Would you mind telling us what it is about. 1.) Sometimes your so powerless that the only thing you can control is how little you can live on.

1.)You gotta play it smart. Take a few Mickeys. 2.) Mickeys? 1.) Mickeys, cake, easy classes!

All you have to do is change their poopie papers, give them their medications listed here and if any of the animals have an emergency, you gotta page the vet.

And I’m going to buy my mom a dishwasher.

Did the producers of Fargo have a garage sale?

Dora, we’re going to a dinner, not a foxhunt.

Dude it’s only water, let it dry man.


Here’s your winner. Simon Birch. It’s about a little goofy kid with problems.

Here’s your winner. Simon Birch. It’s about a little goofy kid with problems. It’ll make you look like a stud.

I hope someday I get to be one of those lucky people.

I think for alleged heterosexuals, you know far too much about the Back Street Boys

I’m a rotten nasty little person!

I’m going to have enough money for tuition, and time to study, and I’m gonna get my mom a dishwasher.

Is’nt is gross what people talk about on cell phones

It seems like this whole city is one big orgy and if you actually care about some one your some kind of chump

Oh God, every part of me is satisfied, even my teeth are relaxed.

Oh great, if this doesn’t work were gonna have to rely on our charm.

Oh yeah? Well if Kafka were alive I’m sure he’d say stop misenterpreting my novels you protentious bonehead!

She’s gonna star 69, it’ll only take a second

There’s no velvet rope at club Dora I mean any asshole can get in.

Well as a matter of fact, yes. I mean what guy wouldn’t like a palte of breasts?

what was that? rach says a kiss julz says a kiss pip says a kiss. paul says A KISS???

what was that? rach says a kiss..julz says a kiss.. pip says a kiss.
paul says A KISS???

When Harry met Sally. Could you maintain a rod and watch Billy Crystal at the same time. Yeah, don’t feel bad, no one can.

Would you happen to take student meal vouchers?

You know how there are couples that stay together just because they feel they can’t do any better or there are people who are sad adn miserable and love alone but then there are this microscopically tiny group of people who get to be with the preson they are madly in love with.

You know I don’t know if I can do that. I love making racial slurs, and I hate doing chores. And this indoor plumbing is just way too confusing for me, so, hey, that’s who I am, and if they can’t deal with that then I’d rather live on my own.

You’re just this wormy little guy who sits in his room and studies. It’s so gay.

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