Movie Quotes from Long Kiss Goodnight, The: Quotes from the movie Long Kiss Goodnight, The

1) Good morning Raymond. 2) Good morning Miss Caine. 1) What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here. Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me, I’ll blow your fucking head off.

1) How many guns do you carry? 2) Three, one shoulder, one hip, and one right here, next to Mr. Wally. On most pat downs it’s never revealed, most agents are reluctant to feel up another agents groin. Got any other questions? 1) YEAH! Whats the weather like on your planet?

1) I got myself out of Beiruit once, I think I can get out of New Jersey. 2) Yeah, well don’t be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population in fact.

1) Its the same method used for deflowering virgins…bite their ear to take away the pain. You ever try that?
2) …Nah i prefer to sock ’em in the jaw and yell pop-goes-the-weasel!

1) Sir she’s got the truck she’s heading out of town. I’m hurt real bad. I think I’m dying. 2) Continue dying.

1)How many of those things do you have 2) three, one on my hip, one in my sock, and one right here next to Mr. Wally

1-Are you thinking what I’m thinking? 2-I hope not, cuz I’m thinking how much my balls hurt!

1-For God’s sake I’m not gonna hurt you! 2-It’s not me I’m worried about…

1-Mommy are we gonna die? 2-Oh no baby, you’re not gonna die, they are…

1-What happened? 2-I saved your ass – it was great!

10 minutes in this cold water, she’ll be insane or dead…

1: I’m leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it. 2: Well, why didn’t you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that out of my ass.

1: Same principle as deflowering a virgin. Guy bites her in the ear to distract from the pain. Haven’t you ever tried that? 2: Naw, I usually just sock ’em in the jaw and yell ‘Pop goes the weasel’.

1I’m not talking bout the linens 2It’s moving in 1What? 2It’s moving in, the songs not about bed sheets

Hide the gun in your pants.
You want me to shoot my dick off??
You’re a sharpshooter, now?

A) I’ll need money, lots of it. B) Oh, why didn’t you say so. Hold on a second while I pull that out of my ass.

A) Lady, this is a pretty big gun.
C) This ain’t no ham on rye either pal.
B) What the hell are you doing?
C) I’m saving your life. I would have been here sooner but I was thinking up that ham on rye line.

Actually, I would have done it earlier, like back in ’92, But I was baking. Don’t ask.

Are you cold? Here, turn on the heater. It doesn’t work, but it makes a very annoying noise that distracts you from the cold.

Bah humbug. Look out the window ‘n shut up!

bring me my little bitch, will you…

By Mitch. Thanks for coming!

Chef’s do that

Christ your early, I guess Perkins DOES want me dead, why don’t your come back a little later. Hey this a gun lady! Well this aint no ham on rye! What are you doing!? I would’ve been here earlier, but i was thinkin up that ham on rye line… Are you really this stupid, or did you have to take lessons!?! I TOOK LESSONS!!

continue dying…

Da da da da da, putting my keys in my left pocket…da da da da da, my gun in my right…

Da da da da da, turning off the downstairs light…da da da da da, before I go to bed at night…

Davis:Were you always this stupid or did you take lessons. Jackson: I took lessons!!

Die screaming mother fucker

Die screaming mother fucker…

Don’t hit the cars!

Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption.

Female – are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Male – I hope not, cause I’m thinkin’ how much my balls hurt.

Get me to the bridge. I’m not leaving ’til that bitch is dead!

Got me my ‘ol handgun. Da da da da da. Got a rifle, too. Da da da da da. If anybody fucks with Mitch, he knows just what to do…….cuz I’m a bad motha-fucka.

Hi Princess. Mind if I take a look at your fucking eyes?

I didn’t ask for the kid! Samantha had the kid! Nobody asked me!

I just sock ’em in the jaw and yell pop goes the weasel!

I let you touch me cowboy…I think I need a bath…

I want my eye back bitch!

I would’ve been here sooner but I was thinking up that ham on rye line!

I’d Really Love To See You Tonight.

It’s a duck, not a dick

Kaitlyn, come help me in the kitchen…hurry up ’cause I forget where it is. BAA!

Life is pain. Get used to it. See you will skate all the way to the shore Princess and you will not fall again. Am I understood?

Luke, she’s my only daughter and I don’t quite trust you yet…

Move it out…and find that bitch!

Name’s Charly, the spy…nice to meet you. Drink?

Not anymore…he broke out after seeing something on TV that quote unquote disturbed him…

out of all my christmas presents, this one was by far the most recent.

Raymond, I catch you smoking again and they’ll never find the body!

Santa Claus Is Back In Town.

So kill ’em for me bitch, what’r you good for?

Stop bein’ a little baby and get up!

suck my dick. everyone of you bastards.

That’s not a dick. It’s a duck.

That’s right! You can’t kill me mother fuckers!

The names Charly by the way, you’re gonna love me!

The young one gets a doll to play with on Christmas…

Theres nothing down there worth more than an hours attention

They’re gonna blow my head off ya know. This is the last time I’ll ever be pretty…

Unfortunately Mr. Henessey, i don’t know how to fake killing 4000 people, so we’re just gonna hafta do it for real…

Watch your back…I’m not done yet…

We have no choice, we need some answers or we’re going to die!

Well I’m always Frank and Ernest with women. In New York Im Frank, and in Chicago Im Ernest.

What about your daughter, Cat-head…

What’s so fucking important?

When I first met you, you were like, Oh fooey I burned the darn muffins and now you say things that would make a sailor blush

When I first met you, you were like, oh fooey, I burned the darn muffins. Now you walk into a bar, and sailors come running out. What up with that?

Who’s Samantha?

Would you bring my little bitch in here

Yeah bears. Ok. Thank you, thank you

Yeah, don’t shoot! Like she says…

Yes, I’m a Mormon. That’s why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three Vodka-tonics.

yessum Miss Daisy, I be honking.

You couldn’t hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom.

You foxy bitch!


You leave me many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you’d be missed by NASA!

You’re about to have 2-point-4 children. Merry Christmas.

You’re an assassin working for the United States government.

You’re gonna die screaming…and I’m gonna watch…am I telling the truth?

You’re the head of a major spy network and you have a tendancy to whine.

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