Movie Quotes from Johnny Dangerously: Quotes from the movie Johnny Dangerously

#1 What’s this bull fertilizerabout you quitting law school. #2 I’m sorry Johnny, I just haven’t got the tits for it…uh…I mean heart.

‘I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy cock-suckers. You have violated my fucking rights. This suminonbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens, like me, could not be taken away by a bunch of fucking assholes, like yourselves.’

–What’s your last name?
–Binderhoff? That’s a good name. Keep that name and you’ll stay out
of trouble.

-heavy breathing – I farg everthing that moves – more heavy breathing

A smoking jacket…red my favorite color…

Ahh an ashtray! I’ve been thinking about taking up smoking, this clenches it![Ma Kelly]

Cigarettes party tricks novelty toys

Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, laugh at us when they see us naked.

Dames are put on this earth to weaken us….drain our energy…..laugh at us when they see us naked.

E.S.S. Enlarged scrodum syndrom…

Had enough milkfed veal Tommy?

Hey Johnny! I’m not wearing a bra.
Johnny – Well than that makes two of us.

Hey Johnny, you look mighty cute in them jeans, boy. Why don’t you come on over here and bend over.

Hey Pope, why don’t you go build yourself a new gym at the Vatican.

I know what you can’t say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!

I missed the bus, you missed the bus, we all missed the bus
magna cum laude, sigma cum laude we all come loudly

I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes…like yourselves.

I’m standing here holding my dork in my hand!

Johnny-My name’s Johnny. Johnny dangerously. Verna-hmmm. do you realize your name is and adjective? Johnny- [pause] I don’t know, but I like it!

lille guys like me we’re like shooting stars. one minute we’re flying through the sky then burning and crashing to earth, jesus christ im starting to upset myself

MA KELLY:I love him but someday I’m gonna knock him on his ass.

My mother hit me once… once.

My mutha hung me on a hook once. Once.

Oh Johnny, I wouldn’t be able to stand it if something happened to you!

Johnny: Neither would I.

Okay, you and the rest of your basteeges can gamble, but don’t try no fargin tricks, otherwise you wind up with you bells in a sling!

Omnibus. He rides the bus. She rides the bus. We all ride the bus.

Sick…dumb ass…(gunshot)…You missed fuck face…sqwawwwk!

Sominabatch! Farging icehalls!

Sounds like Johnny’s gettin’ laid!

Take a stick of chewing gum…that’s what Johnny does.

That man should be arrested for butchering the English language.

They made it for him special. It’s an eighty-eight magnum.

What are you doing here icehole!


Why you miserable cork-sucker!

Wow! What a mouth on that guy.

you fargin sneaky bastage

You fucking cunt, I’ll ass rape you fag

You got the number of that other plumber?

You got those. I like those on a woman.

You really shouldn’t shoot me, Johnny. My grandmother once shot me. Once.

You shouldn’t kick me in the balls. My sister kicked me in the balls once… *grunts in pain*

You shouldnt shoot me Johnny. My mother shot me once. once…

You tell me another gang that’s got a dental plan.

You’ll feel better if you have a cookie!

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