Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren’t completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow’s embarrassment?
#1- I’m from Arizona Jerry. I broke Arizona records. #2- Rod? #1- I went to Arizona State. #2- Rod? #1- I’m a Sun Devil man!
( #1 talking to #2) 1) Shut up… Just shut up.
You had me at hello… You had me at hello!
(AVERY) You keep one superstar and they’ll all follow. There’s no real loyalty, and the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you. (JERRY) I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time. (AVERY) Well, it worked, and I will not let you fail. You are Jerry Ma-fuckin-guire!
(Ray) When my daddy died my mommy took me to the zoo and i like the zoo, lets go to the zoo, lets go to the zoo (Jerry) Ray…..the fuckin zoo is closed (Ray) You said fuck…i won’t tell (Jerry) i guess im gunna hafta take you to the zoo then
*You had me at hello*
– Who is this?
– Who is this? This is Rod Tidwell
– Are you a football player?
– Am I a football player! Lemme tell you something boy…
– You talk too much
– What? Listen talking is only a means of communication…
– It was fun talking to you Rod, bye
–We live in a cynical world… a cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you… and you complete me
–Shutup… just shutup. You had me at hello. You had me at hello.
1) Averly…. 2) Nope 1) It’s over. 2) Didn’t hear it!
1) Excuse me, are you Hootie? 2) No… I’m not Hootie.
1) How long do you give him? 2) mmm…about a week.
1) I came here to fire you Jerry. 2) Pardon me? 3) Came here to let you go….it’s true, you should say something…
1) Jerry, I wanna cry for what they did to you at SMI, if we weren’t in the middle of the Acura deal you know I’d go with you. (breaking down) Oh Jerry…..oh GOD!! Call waiting….who could be calling me now…..? (cheerfully) Hi, Kathy Sanders! 2) Still me, Kathy…. 3) AAAAAAHHHHGGGGHH!!!!!
1) No one has ever dumped me 2) I’m not trying to make history, here..
1) Sorry, that’s my son and the…..nanny. 2) NANNY?! I prefer ‘Child Technician’…
1) the fuckin’ zoo’s closed 2) you said fuck!!
1) What was the deal when we first got together? Brutal truth remember? 2) I think you added the ‘brutal’.
1) You are NOT a loser! 2) Who said anything about loser!?
1) You know, I don’t think we need to do the thing where we tell each other everything! 2) Jerry, this is what intimacy is…
1. The fuckin zoo is closed. 2. You said fuck. 1. Yes, yes i did. 2. don’t worry…i won’t tell
1] You know this is going to change everything. 2] Promise? 1] What IS this music?
Avery: You are not a loser.
Jerry: Who said anything about loser?
Avery: Mistake, I meant something else, when are we leaving?
Avery: You can’t hurt me Jerry, I’m too strong for you, loser.
Bob Sugar: This must be a nice moment for you. I’ll let you have it.
Chad: Nanny? I prefer child technician.
Dorothy: And I still haven’t figured out your noises.
Jerry: Instead of wondering, why don’t you just ask.
Dorothy: I thought I just did.
Jerry: Why do you love me?
Dorothy: Why do you love me?
Ray: Jerry! Can I come in and watch TV?
Dorothy: I think you should not come in … or come in… depending on how you feel.
Jerry: Same as you.
Dorothy: I have to go in. I live here.
Jerry: I want to come in.
Dorothy: Are you sure we should be doing this?
Jerry: Hell, yeah.
Dorothy: I think you should not come in… or come in. Depending on how you feel.
Jerry: Same to you.
Dorothy: No, I have to go in. I live here.
Jerry: Okay.I’ll come in.
Dorothy: Good… Are you sure we should be doing this?
Jerry:Hell, yes.
Dorothy: Jerry, you know this isn’t easy for me. If one of us doesn’t say something now, with your need to be responsible and my need to make the best of things, we could lose ten years of our lives just being polite.
Dorothy: Let’s not tell our sad stories.
Dorothy: Maybe you’re right. Men are the enemy. But… I still love the enemy.
Dorothy: On the surface, everything’s fine. I’ve got this great guy… and he loves my kid. And he sure likes me a lot. And I can’t live like that… it’s not how I’m built.
Dorothy: Tell me he’s not there.
Laurel: He’s not there.
Jerry: Whoa…easy ladies.
Laurel: Coffee, Jerry?
Jerry: No, we bottom feeders prefer cereal first.
Laurel: Ha ha…
Ray: Let’s have Apple Jacks!
Jerry: You want Apple Jacks? Apple Jacks it is. *To Dorothy:** Good morning, darling.
Dorothy: The truth? I care about the job. But mostly, I just want to be inspired. That memo you wrote… that inspired me. I’m here because of that memo. I love that memo.
Jerry: It was a mission statement.
Dorothy: Whoever snagged him must be some classy babe.
Jerry: He said I don’t know what it’s like to be a black person? I’m Mister Black Person.
Jerry: Let me just say, as I ease myself out of this office – which I helped build by the way – that there is such a thing as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, the fish are coming with me. You can call me sentimental, but the fish are coming with me.
Jerry: Now I’m not going to do what everyone expects me to do which is to just FLIP OUT!
Jerry: Think back to when you first started playing football. It wasn’t just about the money, was it? Was it? Was it?
Jerry:Let’s recap here: a hockey player’s kid made me feel like a superficial jerk, I had two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a CONSCIENCE!
Rod: Well boo-fucking-hoo.
Jerry:You know, I think the fucking zoo’s closed Ray.
Ray: You said fuck!
Jerry: Yeah, I did.
Ray: Don’t worry…I won’t tell.
Laurel: All I’m saying is that men are different people when they’re on the bottem rung.
Dorothy: And maybe I’m taking advantage of that. Does that make me a bad person? All I know is that I met one guy who was smart and popular and not so nice to me. So why should I let this man go when every bone in my body is telling me that he’s the one?
Laurel: Okay, I was only looking for a few fun details.
Dorothy: Oh. Well, why didn’t you just say so? There is just one thing, if your interested in hearing. I love him. I love him! I love him for the man he wants be and the man he almost his. I love him. I love him. I love him!
Laurel: If you fuck this up I’ll kill you.
Jerry: Great. I’m glad we had this conversation.
Marcee: And say what? Please remove your dick from my ass?
Ray: Go ahead and go. Go ahead and go.
Ray: Go ahead and go…go ahead and go.
Ray: What’s wrong mommy?
Dorothy: First class is what’s wrong, sweetie. It used to be a better meal, not it’s a better life.
Rod: I love black people!
Jerry: I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
Rod: Who’s your motherfucker Jerry?
Jerry: YOU MY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!
Rod: And what are you going to do?
Jerry: SHOW ME THE MONEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!
Rod: There is a FLOOD in T.P’S ROOM! T.P. Say hello to Jerry Maguire.
T.P: Hello brother Maguire.
Rod: You are holding on by a very thin thread.
And I’m freeeeeeeeeee! freeeee faaaaallling!!!!
Anybody else would have left you by now, but I’m sticking with you.
I said I would. And if I got to ride your ass like Zorro, you’re gonna show me the money.
bathroom quote
Because I’m Bob Sugar and I am the fucking terminator.
Believe me, there’s genius everywhere but until they turn pro it’s like popcorn in a pan…some pop, some don’t.
Boo fuckin’ who??
But maybe love shouldn’t be such hard work…
Congratulations, you’re still my agent.
deezzz nuttzzz
Dicky Fox: Hey, I don’t have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I’ve failed as much as I’ve succeeded, but i love my wife, i love my life, and I wish you my kind of success
Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear?
DON’T – EVER – STOP – FUCKING – ME!!!!
Don’t cry at the beginning of that date cry at the end like I do.
Don’t say that. I mean, say it if you want to….
Don’t You EVER… STOP… FUCKING.. ME
Dorthy: I love him, i love him for the man he wants to be and the mad that he almost is. I love him I love him I love him Kid: good morning jerry.
Dorothy: tell me he’s not stnding right there
Laurel: he’s not standing there.
Jerry: Good morning ladies.
Dorothy: (whispers) o my god, o my god.
Ethan: Everybody loves you. Pisses me off.
Even I read another…You had me at Hello…post, i’m going to kick some ass. Stop it already.
Every Morning I Wake Up I Clap My Hands and Say Todays Going To BE A Good Day
Gerry is so great at friendship…he’s just bad at intimacy..
Give me a hug!
Glad you can finally make it in, Jerry, Rod is very, very upset. Tyson, no!
Help me help you
Help me! Help you!
Hey, I don’t have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I’ve failed as much as I’ve succeeded, but i love my wife, i love my life, and I wish you my kind of success
Hey, I’ll be the first to admit it. What I was writing was somewhat touchy feely. I didn’t care. I had lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I’d always wanted to be.
Hmmmm….whoever snagged him must be some classy babe.
How about a little bit of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don’t know what to tell my son, except here, have a look at a guy that isn’t yelling show me the money!
How’s your head?
-Bubblicious
I am a valuble commodity..i go across the middle…i see a guy comin at me..tryin ta KILL ME..i say ..get killed…CATCH THE BALL..
BOUYA!–TOUCHDOWN.. I MAKE MIRACLES HAPPEN!!
i am out here for you, you dont know what its like for me…out here for u, it is an up at dawn pride-swallowing siege, that i can never fully tell you about ok?! god help me…help me rod, help me, help you…help me, help you….help me….help you
i am out there for you swallowing pride
I am the fucken terminator
I ate two slices of bad pizza went to bed and grew a conscience!
I couldn’t escape one simple thought. I hated myself. No..No..No here’s what it was…I hated my place in the world. I had to so much to say and no one to listen.
I did NOT shoplift the pootie.
i did not shoplift the pooty…ok ok, i shoplifted the pooty
I did the 23 hour nose-route to the top of El Capitan in 6 hours and 18 minutes! I can make this work.
I feel like I’m five years late for the Prom.
I got this great guy. He loves my kid and he sure does like me a lot. But I can’t live like that. I’m not built like that
I know who you are. You’re Dorothy Boyd. You’re in Accounts. You have the middle cubicle with that poster of Albert Einstein morphed onto Shaquille 0’Neal’s body.
I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!
I Love you, you complete me. Shut up you had me at hello. You had me at hello.
I love you…you complete me.
I love you…you complete me. You had me at hello.
i pretended that proposal by the car was real it might have just been a hypothetical i did this and atleast i can do something about it now… J: so this break is a break up.. D:come one jerry you know this isn’t easy for me…J: this is where it has to happened..and this is where it has to happen…i m not letting you get rid of me how about that im a smart guy i love you…you …complete me….and im just… D:SHUT UP just shut up.. You had me at hello..you had me at hello
I pretended that purposal by the car was real and it might of just been a hypathetical.
I shoplifted the pootie.
I think you should not come in…or, come in, depending on how you feel. Same to you. No, I have to go in. I live here.
I was 35. I had started my life.
I was inspired, and I’m an accountant.
I won’t let you hurt me Jerry. I’m too strong for you. Loser!
I’m Dorothy’s disapporving sister Loral.
I’m not going to do…what everyone thinks I’m going to do which is just FLIP OUT!
I’m not gonna do what y’all think im gonna do which is FLIP OUT
I’m not gonna do what you all think I’m gonna do, which is just FLIP OUT!
I’m not letting you get rid of me
I’ve had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.
I´ll tell you why you dont have your ten million dollars, you play with you head not your heart, personal life heart, but when you get on the field is all about what you didn´t get, whose to blame who under threw the pass, who has the contract you don´t, whose no giving you you´re love, and you know what. That is not what inspires people, THAT IS NOT WHAT INSPIRES PEOPLE, shut up play the game play it from your heart, and ill show the quan, and thats the thruth, THATS THE THRUTH, can you handle it, its just a question between friens. YOU KNOW.
If this [heart] here is empty, then this [brain] doesn’t matter.
If you don’t love everbody… you can’t sell anybody.
If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I’d do it. It’s not something I’m interessted in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi’s or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I’m gonna get some fruit.
It was a ‘mission statement’…
It was a Mission Statement!
It’s a very personal, very important thing….hey- it’s a family motto. You ready? Here it is….’show me the money’
It’s all about you, isn’t it? Soothe me, save me, love me–
It’s not ‘show’ friends….it’s ‘show’ business…
It’s not show friends, it’s show business
Jerry Mcguire…you are my ambassador of kwan…
Jerry, there is a ‘sensitivity’ thing that some people have. I don’t have it. I don’t cry at movies. I don’t gush over babies. I don’t start celebrating Christmas five months early, and I don’t tell a man who just screwed up both of our lives — ‘oh, poor baby.’ That’s me. For better or worse. But I do love you.
Jerry, you and I are sales people, we sell! It’s not love me, it’s not trust my handshake it’s make the sale get it sign- there shouldn’t be confusion about that.
Jerry: Do you know what it’s like to be ME out here for YOU? It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about!
Jerry: Hi Rod, Jerry Maguire. How are you doing? Rod: Jerry Maguire! Jerry: Yeah.. Rod: How am I doing? I’ll tell you how I’m doing, I’m sweating, dude!
Jump right into my nightmare, the water is warm!
Just get in the car.
Kid: Jerry Maguire you have to stop my dad this is his 3 rd concution. Jerry: I cant stop your dad, a truck , no a tank could even stop your dad. Kid: Fuck You
King of the Housecalls! Master of the Living Room!
Kushlash, Kushlash…Kushlash,Kushlash,Kushlash
Laurel? We’re getting married!
Let me help you help me
Let’s go to the zoo. Let’s go right now.
Look at me, Laurel, I’m the oldest twenty-six year old in the world…now how do I look?
Martinez! Hombre, como esta?
My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He said ‘you complete me.’
My next door neighbor has 3 rabbits!
Nah, I air dry!!!
nice talk. see ya out there
No. I hear that you hear what I’m saying. But do you hear what I’m
saying?
Now I don’t know what you do with your five-percent, but this man, my husband has a whole plan, an image… and when you put him in a Waterbed Warehouse commercial, excuse me, you are making him common when you know he deserves the big four — shoe, car, clothing-line, soft-drink. The four jewels of the celebrity endorsement dollar. We majored in marketing, babe….we came to play.
Now I’m the guy you don’t usually see. I’m the one behind the scenes. I’m the sports agent.
Oh Jerry, I’m two months away from the pay increase…
OK, so I’m not as good with the insults as her.
Please Jerry, you know this eisnt easy for me. On the surface evrything looks fine. Ive got this great guy..and he loves my kid (beat) and he sure does like me alot. And I can’t live like that…it’s not how i’m built ~ Dorthy Boyde
Pocketful Of Rainbows.
REAL MEN DON’T SHOP LIFT THE POODY FROM SINGLE MOM’S!
remember the names of whores you have sex with, thats what I do
Rod! Get on the camel!
Rod: I am a valuable commodity. I go across the middle. I see a dude coming at me…trying to kill me! I say ‘Get killed…catch the ball’ Boo-yah! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
Rod: No, no, no. I hear that you hear what I’m saying, but do you truely hear what I’m saying? kid: I hear what you’re saying, Daddy! (phone rings) Jerry: Rod, would you mind holding on for a sec..? Rod: Hold on.. Didn’t you tell my wife more personel attention…? DID YOU NOT TELL MY WIFE MORE PERSONEL ATTENTION?! Jerry: I said more personel attention. Rod: Good, ’cause I’m just getting started on my list you need to know… You can take notes if you want to…
Roll with the punches, tomorrows another day
Secret Garden.
See this jacket I’m wearing? You like it? Cause I don’t really need it … cause I’m cloaked … in failure!
See this jacket I’m wearing? You like it? Cuz I don’t really need it, cuz I’m cloaked … in failure!
She loves you, If you dont love her, you have got to tell her
Show me the money
SHOW ME THE MONEY!
SHOW ME THE MONEY!!
show me the money!pon
Show me the money.
Shut up! Just shut up! You had me at hello… you had me at hello.
Shut up! You had me at ‘hello’.
Shut up!! You had me at hello. You had me at hello.
shut up, just shut up, you had me at hello
Shut up. You had me at hello.
shut up. You had me at hello. You hold me at hello.
So honesty is outlawed here, I can’t be honest?
So I don’t wanna hear your shit Jerryt. I don’t wanna hear your ‘na-na-na I lost Kush, Avery’ and shit! Anybody else would have left you by now, but I’m sticking with you. I said I would. And if I got to ride your ass like Zorro, you’re gonna show me the money. You gunna show me the money. (Puts headphones on.) And we together on this. Unnhhh! YA KNOW?!
So I turn to her and sort of grandly say, ‘Well, this is me, Klutz, asking you, Goddess of Rock Climbing, to marry me’. And I took out the ring, and I don’t much like big scenes, but she said yes right there in the lobby. We’re getting married in February.
Sorry about the hand.
Sorry Jerry, I just want to play football.
That’s how you become great, man….hang your balls out there!
that’s my mofo
That’s not a dress, that’s an Audrey Hepburn movie.
That’s not a dress,…that’s an Audrey Hepburn movie!
That’s not a dress. That’s an Audrey Hepburn movie.
That’s not just a dress. That’s an entire Audrey Hepburn movie.
That’s the price of success.
thats not a dress – thats an audrey hepburn movie
Thats not a dress thats an Audrey Hepburn movie.
The difference between coach and first class used to be a better meal, now it’s a better life.
The human head weighs eight pounds.
The key to this business is personal relationships…
The Quan
There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don’t have it. I don’t cry at movies, I don’t gush over babies, I don’t buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON’T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, ‘Oh, poor baby.’ But I do love you.
there’s a ninty percent chance I would cheat on you
these fish have manners
This guy would go home with a gardening tool now if it showed interest…
This is an energy bar it will keep you up all night.
This is not ‘guy’. This is a syndrome. It’s called Early Midlife, About-To-Marry, Hanging Onto The-Bottom-Rung Dear- God-Don’t-Let-Me-Be-Alone, I’ll-Call-My-Newly Long-suffering-Assistant-Without Medical-For-Company Syndrome. And if, knowing all that, you still allow him to come over, more power to you.
Two nights later in Miami at our corporate conference, a breakthrough. Breakdown? Breakthrough.
Well, boo-fucking-hoo!
What is this music?!
What??? You know he always gets nervous for monday nite foot-ballll
When you get on the field, it’s all about what you didn’t get, who’s to blame, who underthrew the pass, who’s got the contracts you don’t, who’s not giving you love. That is not what inspires people. That is not what inspires people! Shut up, play the game… play it from the heart. And I will show you Quan and that’s the truth can you handle it?
Where’s the money
Who said anything about ‘loser?’
Who’s coming with me?
why don’t we have that kind of relationship
Wonderful. Next time you lecture me, don’t leave my little boy in a room with your Divorced Women’s Group…
Wow. That’s more than a dress. That’s an Audrey Hepburn movie.
Wow. That’s more then a dress. That’s an Audrey Hepburn movie.
You are hanging on by a very thin thread…and I DIG that about you!!
You are Jerry MA-FUCKING-GUIRE
You are my ambassador of quaa!
You are my embassador of Quan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Thinking): Loser!!!!!!!!!!!
You are not a loser.
You are with the king of the kingdom…. I am….. drunk.
You believe they’re shooting a Reebok ad down there? Did I ever tell you my Reebok story?
You can’t sell anyone if you don’t love everyone.
You Complete Me
YOU COMPLETE ME!
You complete me.
You fuck this up I’ll kill you
You fuck this up I’ll kill you.
You gotta be fair to her.. she loves you. If you dont love her, you’ve got to tell her.
you had me at hello
You had me at hello . .
You had me at hello.
You had me at hello…
You had me at Hello….You had me at Hello…
You had me at hello…you had me at hello.
You had me from hello
You have got to be fair to her. She loves you. And if you do not love her, you have got to tell her
You have no idea what it’s like to be me out here for you. It’s an up at dawn pride swallowing siege, that i will never fully tell you about.
You know I ain’t gettin any love from Rebbock. You know what fuck Rebbock!
You know that feeling?
You know the difference between me and you? You think we’re fighting, I think we’re finally talking!
You scared me! Don’t do that again…ever! Ever, ever, ever!! Okay?
You want this jacket? Cause I am cloaked in failure.
You’re loving me now, aren’t ya?
You’ve got to be fair to her. She loves you. And if you don’t love her, you’ve got to tell her.
you…complete me
shut up you had me at hello
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Jerry Maguire’: Quotes from the movie ‘Jerry Maguire’
