–What do you call it when you hate the woman you love?
–A wife.
Acquit me on the grounds of justifiable homicide.
I’ve been married for forty years and I don’t regret a day of it. The one day I don’t regret is August 2, 1936. My wife was visiting her ailing mother.
Indeed, I did slip her a mickey.
Marriage is not a basic fact of nature. It’s an invention! It’s like the infield fly rule. It exists only because women say so. And like idiots, we just go following right along.
Push the button, Harold.
Sir, under American law, you cannot be tried for the same crime twice. They’ve already acquitted you of her murder. So if she did come back, you could quite legally kill her again.
Yeah, but being married is the normal way to live.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘How to Murder Your Wife’: Quotes from the movie ‘How to Murder Your Wife’
