Movie Quotes from Hotel de Love: Quotes from the movie Hotel de Love

-A marriage isn’t all about sex.
-That’s exactly what the people who aren’t having sex say.

-He hasn’t kissed me in 14 years.
-Well it’s natural when you get older for people to lose interest in sex.
-Oh we still have sex, we just don’t kiss.

-I want a divorce.
-But we just got married.
-That’s why I need the divorce

-I’m in love with you.
-Oh dry up.

-It’s been four years
-Open your mouth a little more…touch my hair a bit
-I know what I’m doing!

-Know what I just did?
-Knocked a woman over on the street?
-Just told a woman, that woman, that I love her. Love you! It was a little more poetic than that, but you get the idea.

-Let me see your palm…There’s confusion here.
-My palm’s not up to date.

-Mom, what’s wrong with your face?
-Oh nothing, I’ve just got a bit of makeup on.

-She said I belong in a novel.
-What kind of novel?
-19 century novel.
-Oh, that’s bad. They’re long and boring and they have tragic endings.

-This wasn’t the plan.
-To hell with the plan.

-Why do men touch their dicks all the time?
-Because they’re there.

1) It’s been three years
2) Open your mouth a little more
1) I know how to kiss!
2) Touch my hair a bit
1) I know what I’m doing!

Do you have to say two Hail Marys every time you leave here, or just after you’ve confessed?

Don’t be honest, think of your future. Think of your marriage.

Eight orgasms her first time! That’s four sets of two!

I bought this for you. It’s very expensive.

I could face society, I just didn’t want to talk to anyone.

I don’t get bananas. They’re green for about two weeks, then they’re ripe for about 12 minutes, then they turn brown and mushy forever. Sometimes I can’t even go out because my bananas are about to turn ripe and I don’t want to miss it.

I tried to be a groper.

I’ve just come out of a church, I’m wearing a long dress, I have a veil on my head and I’ve got confetti in my hair. Does that tell you anything about my availability?

Is there any girl on the planet that you don’t have dibs on?

Once Stephen almost cried in the car when he saw people pull over to let an ambulance by.

Six orgasms her first time! That’s two sets of three!

That is not love, that is a book group.

Watching my parents renew their vows is like watching the ambulance drivers push the victims back into the car wreck. ‘Sorry you have to be more disfigured, but off you go.’

What are the chances of finding love? I’ve done research…54%, a little higher on weekends.

What kind of world are we living in that women can’t keep their pacts.

You can’t keep up these drive-by I love yous.

You’re right, these are the worst love letters I’ve ever seen.

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