Movie Quotes from Hitch: Quotes from the movie Hitch

(1) Look, I’m Allegra Cole,
the woman of your dreams.

The woman whose green eyes
are limpid pools of desire.

Now, show me the magic, Albert- What the hell was that?!
(2) I’m showing you the magic!

(1) No, I said come 90% and then I come 10%!

You don’t go the whole 100%!

My mouth was open, Albert.
You overeager son of a…

(1) So my family never saw him again.
Well, except for on the Wanted posters.

(2) Look, I’m really sorry.

When I saw it on the computer,
it said, ‘the Butcher of Cádiz.’

I thought it was a profession,
not a headline.

(1) Now, just keep it simple.
Just like we practiced.

We’re just leaving a message.

Women like Allegra Cole
don’t pick up numbers they don’t recognize.

(2) Hello?

(3) She’s on the phone!

(1) Yes. Hello, Miss Cole?
(2) Yeah.

(1) Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you.

One moment, please.
(3) No. Tell her I’m at lunch.

(1) We called her to tell her you’re at lunch?

(1) I noticed your glass was getting low…

so I took the liberty
of bringing you another apple martini.

(2) Thank you.

(1) And I couldn’t help but notice
you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

(2) What’s your name?
(1) They call me Chip.

(2) You can’t get them to stop?

(1) That was funny.

(2) Listen, I understand the courage it takes
to walk across a room…

and try to generate a relationship
out of thin air.

So don’t take the following personally.
(1) You have fantastic eyes.

(2) Thanks. Try to listen.

This is no reflection on you.
I’m just not interested.

But thank you for the compliment
of coming over.

(1) You’re welcome.
So do you like Cuban food?

(1) Just breathe. How’d it go?

(2) I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss!
I quit my job!

(1) What!?

(1) So, how’d you meet him?

(2) I was in La Perla
just buying some weekend thongs.

(1) And he was doing likewise?
(2) No.

Actually, he said he was buying something
for his mom.

(1) His mom?

Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie
for their mother?

(1) Tonight I want you to meditate
on the image of an iceberg.

Do you know why I want you to do that?

(2) Because I’m cool?

(1) No.
(2) I know, I’m not.

(1) I’m saying that you are an iceberg…

in that over 65% of your mass
is below the surface.

(2) I know I’m heavy. I am.

(1) What was your name? Eggnog?

(2) Egon.

(1) What do you think of the design of the Jets’
new football stadium on the West Side?

Let me guess. Disgusting?

(1) You are becoming
a sick, workaholic lunatic…and this is exactly the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior
that leads to…

(2) Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette.

(1) A very big raise.

1. So, that stuff worked for you? 2. It was adorable.

A realist, masquerading as a cynic, who is secretly an optimist.

Any man can sweep any girl off her feet…he just needs the right broom

Because that’s what people do, they leap, and hope to God they can fly…because otherwise your just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why the hell did i jump? But here i am Sara, falling, and the only one that can make me feel like i can fly, is you.

Begin each day as if it were on purpose.

Everyman has the ability to sweep any woman off of her feet, He just has to have the right broom!


have you ever met a girl you knew was gonna be important to you but not just because of her looks.

Here’s to lying, stealing, cheating, and drinking. If you must lie, lie with the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you drink, drink to the moment.

Here’s to not lying, stealing, cheating, or drinking…But if you must lie, lie with the one you love…If you must steal, steal away from bad company…If you must cheat, cheat death…And if you must drink, drink to the moment.

Hitch-Slide back. Sara-But Hitch, I’m already here. Hitch-Yeah but then I can’t take you to the surprise. Sara-Why don’t you just tell me so then we’ll both know Hitch-Sara… Sara-Man, male egos. I don’t know how you get through the day with them. Hitch-It is not my ego. Sara-Sure, whatever. (gets kicked)

Hitch: (pointing to himself)Michaelangelo, (pointing to Albert) Sistine Chapel.
Albert: You’re saying you can do this?
Hitch: My name is Alex Hitchins. Let’s go paint that ceiling!

Hitch: What if fine isn’t good enough? What if I want extraordinary?
Sara: There’s no such thing

I figure if my heart stopped beating, It wouldnt hurt as much

i liek your lips

I like you. Okay, I LIKE you!

i said 90 you come over zealous son of a bitch!My mouth was open albert!

I’ve waited my whole life to feel this miserable!

I’ve waited my whole life to feel this miserable.

if he was stupid enough to cheat on you, he was dumb enough to get caught

Life is not about the amount of breaths you take…its about the moments that take your breath away!

Life isnt about how many breaths you take, its about how many moments leave you breathless

Never Lie, cheat, steal, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love, if you must steal, steal from unwanted company, if you must cheat, cheat death, and if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

No woman wakes up thinking god i hope i dont get swept off my feet today

No! I said 90 then you come 10…. my mouth was open Albert!!

One day you’re living your life, the next, you don’t know how you lived without them.

one moment you’re gliding along, the next moment you’re standing in the rain watching your life fall apart

Q-tip, Q-tip, throw it away…

Sara-Like you said, if we go our seperate ways, we’ll do just fine. Hitch-What if fine’s not good enough? What if I want spectacular? Sara-No such thing.

That’s what it’s all about, right there.

See how it gets bigger?

Now I’m gonna start the fire.

But the feet are going.
I start the fire, I make the pizza.

Hips are always going.

Can’t get enough hip.

From there, the Q-Tip.

Q-Tip. Throw it away.

That’s not working, hit them with this.

That’s what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly…

the girl I met,
the one I was talking about…

she’s so sweet, funny, Southern.

She gives me her number.
Now she won’t return my phone calls.

I don’t know what it is about her.
I just can’t get her out of my mind.

You know, food has lost its taste.
Colors, they seem dull.

Things that used to matter…
I don’t know, they just no longer do.

I think things aren’t gonna snap back
unless I…

Unless I bang her.

they dont need no pizza! they got food there!

This is how I operate: power suit, power tie, power steering.

This shit is what makes it so damn hard to fall in love!

Vance: See what I’m doing? This is what I’m about. Power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
Hitch: Oh, so that’s like a metaphor?
Vance: Oh yeah
Hitch: Right, well see I’m more of a literal kind of guy. So, when I do this— this is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit OFF, if you ever touch me again… mkay pumpkin?

What if fine’s not good enough?

what if what i thought was great, was great but not as great as something greater..

You know what it’s like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it’s never going to be with you

You look a lot like my next girlfriend!

You Look A lot like my next girlfriend.

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