Movie Quotes from Happiness: Quotes from the movie Happiness

(announcing to the table full of relatives) …I came.

DadNo, we made love…I f*cked them.
sonWhat was it like?
DadIt was…great.
sonWould you do it again?
DadYes
sonWould you ever f*ck me?
DadNo…I’d jerk off instead.

>Is it someone else?
>No, it’s just you.
….>You think I’m shit. Well you’re shit. And I’m champagne

Dr. Maplewood, you’re the coolest

I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.

It’s just I’m… I’m so tired of being admired all the time. All these men I mean… they’re all beautiful, artistic minds, great sex, the whole package, but hollow, you know what I mean? I feel nobody’s really honest with me. Nobody wants me for me.

Joe): What do you think would happen if I got him a professional… you know… Bill): A professional? Joe): Hooker. You know, the kind that can teach things… first-timers, you know… break him in. Bill): But Joe, he’s 11. Joe): You’re right, you’re right. It’s too late.

No…I’d jack-off instead.

Would you like a tuna sandwich?

Y’know, people are always putting New Jersey down. None of my friends can believe I live here. But that’s because they don’t get it: I’m living in a state of irony.

You know I wish you had told me this twenty years ago. Now I’m gonna have to get another FUCKING FACELIFT!!!

You think I don’t appreciate art? You think I don’t understand fashion? You think I’m not hip? You think I’m pathetic? A nerd? A lard-ass fatso? You think I’m shit? Well, you’re wrong, ’cause i’m champagne, and you’re shit. Until the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit.

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