Movie Quotes from Grumpy Old Men: Quotes from the movie Grumpy Old Men

(repeated line)
John: Hey, moron!
Max: Yutz!

1) I see your cat crapped on my newspaper again. 2)Yeah, who says you can’t train a cat?

1. Damn it, im so grumpy. 2.SHOOT! me too.

1. Moron!
2. Putz!

1.)Hey im so damn grumpy.
2.)Im so damn grumpier.

all we really have in life are the experiences


Does she have big thighs?
No, she doesn’t have big thighs.
Well, then. What’s the problem?

Grandpa: (While John and Max fight) HEY!!! DROP THAT FISH!!!
Max: Huh?! Mr. Gustafson!
Grandpa: Don’t make me have to separate you two again! DARN IT!!!!


Hey, Snider…why don’t you do the world a favor by pulling your bottom lip over your head and swallow.

I got something to offer her

I kicked your ass in 1938!

I rather kiss a dead moose’s butt!

If I was a strapping young lad like you, I’d be mounting every woman in Wabasha!

If my dog was as ugly as you, I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!

if you see a chance to be happy, you grab it with both hands… and hell with the consequences.

It’s butt cold out here, and I’m fresh outta beer.

It’s colder than a witch’s tittie out here!

Looks like he’s taking the ‘ol skinboat to tunatown

Max Goldman:(while watching TV) Oh, shut up, fat-ass!

The man’s a menace. Always hanging around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take off their clothes.

watch it bonehead!

Why don’t you do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head – and swallow?

Why don’t you do the world a favor. Pull your lip over your head and swallow.

Wipe that smile off your face, ’cause it’s just a loan!

You mount the woman, son.

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