1. Bride or groom? 2. It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither.
1. Forgive me, my lord, for the things I’m about to say in this beautiful place. Bugger!
2. Is there anything I can help you with, my son?
1. No, no. Vocal exercises. Big church.
1. Hello, I’m Charles. 2. Don’t be ridiculous! Charles died twenty years ago. 1. Must be a different Charles. 2. Are you telling me I don’t know my own brother?
1. My name’s Scarlett. Named after Scarlett O’Hara but MUCH less trouble. What’s yours? 2. My name’s Rhett. 1. No. Not really! 2. No, not really. 1. You kidder! You know, I always thought Americans were all boring as shit. But you’re not, are you. Steve Martin’s American, isn’t he!
1. Why do you think it’s called a honeymoon? 2. Well, honey, I suppose, because it’s sweet as honey, and moon because it’s the first time the groom gets to see his wife’s bottom.
1.So what do you do? 2. Oh.. I’m in training to be a priest. 1. Good Lord!
Carrie: Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.
Carrie: There comes a point where your so wet you can’t get any wetter.
Charles: Hello, I’m Charles.
Old Man: Don’t be ridiculous, Charles died twenty years ago.
Charles: Well, maybe I’m a different-
Old Man: Are you telling me I don’t know my own brother?
Charles: Right. Odd decision.
Charles: There’s nothing more off-putting at a wedding than a priest with an enormous erection.
Charles: Fiona LOVES you! Henrietta: Fiona calls me Duckface.
Charles: Well I’ve never heard her say that. Fiona: How’s old Duckface?
Do you think that you might agree not to marry me? And do you think that not being married to me might be something you’d consider doing for the rest of your life?
Fuck, fuck, fucketty fuck…
He’s quite engaging. She’s otherwise engaged.
I always just hoped that, that I’d meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn’t make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that……
I remember the first time I saw Gareth on the dance floor. I feared lives would be lost.
If my darling Dad were here, I know what he’d say. ‘Great dress, babe, but why in the hell are you marrying the stiff in the skirt?’
In the words of David Cassidy while he was still with the partridge Family, I believe, I think I love you.
Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed.
It’s kind of like the first time one has SEX, isn’t it? Only less messy and less call for condoms.
my north south east west coffin draped white bow
Scarlett – Red!!! I thought you gone back to Texas!
Red- With out you?! Never.
Scarlett: Oh, isn’t she lovely! Fiona: Don’t be ridiculous, Scarlett, she looks like a big meringue.
Scarlett: They say rubber’s mainly for perverts. Don’t know why. Think it’s very practical, actually. I mean, you spill anything on it and it just comes off. I suppose that could be why the perverts like it.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid, people are less suspicious of you.
They told me I’d be getting SEX! Everyone said it, you be a bridesmaid, you’ll be fighting them off. But not so much as a tongue in sight.
Well, I don’t usually skulk a lot, but I suppose I could skulk if skulking were required.
Young Bridesmaid: What’s bonking?
Scarlett: Well, it’s kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.
[At a wedding] Old lady: Are you married? Fiona: No. Old lady: Are you a lesbian? Fiona: Good lord! What makes you ask that? Old lady: Well, it is one of the possibilites for unmarried girls nowadays, and it’s rather more interesting than saying, Oh dear, never met the right chap, eh? Fiona: Quite right. Why be dull? Old lady: Thank you. [long pause] Fiona: I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about fifteen minutes.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’: Quotes from the movie ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’