Movie Quotes from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story: Quotes from the movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(Peter looks down at old peice of cloth as Patches face appears in the cloth) Patches: Listen up crotch stain!
#1 Unbelievable. It looks like Average Joe’s is forfeiting the game. #2 That’s a bold move, Cotton, we’ll see if it pays off.
‘L’ for love!!!!
(1. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. 2) You know, some cultures only eat vomit. I’ve never seen it but I did read it…in a book!
-I think we’ll just take our chances in the tournament- -Yeah you will take your chances in the tournament.- -That’s what I just said.- -That’s what I’m sayin’ to you….toushee.-
-Was that necessary?
-Necessary? Is it necessary that I drink my own urine?
-Well I do because its sterile and I like the taste.
-We should mate. -What? -I said we should date.
1) Hey Dereck, sweet dew. 2) Get bent helmet
1) This is it La Loser!
2) Don’t go crying to your mom when I beat you here.
1) Don’t go crying to your dad when I wipe it up with your face!
1. Ladies and gentelman, I thought I’ve seen it all but it appears that Peter La Fleur has blind folded himself. 2. Yeah he will not be able to see very well.
1. We should mate. 2. What? 1. Date we should date! 1. I’m sorry I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
1. Were still missing two people teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate. 2. Who’s Steve the pirate? 1. The only guy on our team who acts like a pirate. 2. Oh… THere is a guy on are team who acts like a pirate.
1.)Noone makes me bleed my own blood…
2.) (enthusiastically) Hey Rory!…Look’n good
1:What’s a taint? 2: Don’t know. Sounds bad.
Peter: Is this really necessary?
Patches: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
Peter: Probably not.
Patches: No, but I do it anyway, because it’s sterile and I like the taste.
(Appears in his scarf to Peter)
Patches: Listen up, crotch-stain. Remember your training and trust your instincts. You can do it! I believe in you!… Bye bye.
Adonde esta la Bibliateca peter?
Allow me the pleasure of introducing to you: Blade. Laser. Blazer. I believe you’ve met my fitness consigliarian Meshell. Oh, and I almost forgot, our last player. Meet Fran Stellinaskavich de Bediviski. In her home country of Romanovia, Dodgeball is the national sport, and her nuclear power plant’s team won the championship 5 years running, which makes her the deadliest woman on earth, with a dodgeball.
Blade, Lasor…… Lasor
boogers god your such an idiot joanie go kissy kissy with the bridemaid you snotface snot head
Buckle up lillies
C’mon, Kate. It’s time to put your mouth where our balls are.
Coton: He’s balless now. Pepper: He doesn’t have any balls Cotton!
Cotton McKnight: And White Gordon with his patented peek-a-boo attack telling Suzuki Toyota Oshinawa that this is his dojo.
Cotton: Folks, in my 25 years of commentating, I thought I’d seen it all. Ive seen the Ifle Tower in Paris, I’ve seen the Pyramids in Egypt, I’ve even seen a grown man pleasure a camel, but I have never seen this. Peter LaFluer has just blindfolded himself.
Pepper: Yes Cotton, that will mean that he is not able to see Cotton.
Cotton: It looks like the clock is about to strike 12 on this Cinderella Story turning the average Joes into the perverbial pumpkin. Pepper: I sure do like pumpkins Cotton.
Cram it up your cram hole LaFluer!
CRAM IT UP YOUR CRAM HOLE LAFLUER!!!
Cram it up your cramhole Lafluer
Cram it up your crap hole La Fleur!
Do you believe in unlikelyhoods!!??
Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.
So, when you’re picking players in gym class remember to pick the bigger, stronger kids for your team. That way, you can all gang up on the weaker ones.
Don’t crap where you eat.
donde esta la bibioteca
Donde esta la biblioteca, Pedro?
donde esta la biblioteca?
Dude she’s gotta be a lesbian
Dwight-Man she’s got to be a lesbian. Peter-She’s not a lesbian. Patches-All I know is that dike can play.
Dwight: Yeah he’ll probably fall off the rollercoaster and break every bone in his body. Kate: Nice, Dwight. Dwight: I’m just sayin it happens. My cousin Ray Ray (Pause Then Motions Hand Down) Boop. Dead.
End of Demo.
F***ing Chuck Norris
F-IN-AYE Cotton, F-IN-AYE
Fatty Made A Funny
Fatty make a funny?
Fine, we lost the match, but none of this matters anyway, La Loser, cause you sold your gym to me last night remember, and I wouldn’t sell you your gym back for all of King Midus’s silver. You’re right White, you’re absolutly right. Greed won out in the end, and money won, is a lot sweeter then money earned. Here are your winnings Mr. La Fluer, congradulations. Thanks boys right, on time, I appreciate it. What, what, what is that? Oh, I thought I’d take your advice White, and invest it. So, I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night, and put it on us to win, we were going out at a 50-to-1 shot. Anyway, off the top of there head, 50 times 100,000? 50,000 dollars? 5 million dollars, Peter, are you kidding me? So, I thought, why not invest it in something worthwhile, like the controlling stake of Globo Gym. That’s perposterous, I’d never allow it. Globo Gym is a publically traded company, there’s nothing you can do about. You hear that White, I’m gonna be your boss. You’re not my boss, no ones my boss, I’m my own boss, I created mnyself.
Fu@#ing Chuck Norris
Fuck you, Chuck Norris.
Fuckin Chuck Norris!
Fuckin Chuck Norris.
Fuckin’ Chuck Norris
get bent helmet
Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey… Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
goddam you bernice !
He’s balles he doesn’t have and balls
Heh, you in to that sort of thing? I’ve got some shakkles in the back! (chuckles). I’m just kidding… But really, I’ve got em’.
Here at Globo Gym we’re better than you and we know it!
Here at Globo Gym, we understand that fatness is a genetic, like baldness, or necrophilia.
Hey White I didn’t know Nazi camp got out early? Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
Yes I did.
Hey White. you look awfully fat in those pants.
i can be naughty, real freaky naughty
I can be real nasty…real FREAKIN’ nasty!
I didn’t know Nazi camp was allowed out yet. What did you did, skip Arts and Crafts?
I don’t think they make any ‘I’m sorry your coach just got crushed by two tons of irony’ hallmark cards.
I don’t think they meant assless chaps!
I feel like I’m watching a Cher video, Cotton.
I had a chance to talk to White Goodman today, Cotton. He said his team really wants to won this one.
I have a very specific goal…and that is to have no goals.
I hope you’ll exucse Meshell he’s had some digestive problems. Could you clse that? C’mon for all of us baby.
I like to break a mental sweat too
I like unicorns
i love michael jeffery parsons!
I mean cmon, I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.
I mean theres no reason we should be shackled by the strictures of the employee empolyer relationship, unless of course you’re into that sort of thing ehuhuhhaha, in which case I got some shackles in the back. eh huh hah. I’m just kidding. But seriously, I’ve got them.
I mean, we gotta start looking at this Irish wake style.
I Sure Do like Pumpkins Cotten
i talked to white early today and he said his team really wants to win, cotton?
I think its about time you put your mouth where our balls are
I told you she was a lesbian…yeh thats was a good call.
(she walks over after kissing another women) No i’m bisexual
I would love to see that pretty little bone structure of yours around here some more. I mean, there’s no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless, of course, you’re into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. [chuckles] I’m just kidding. But seriously, I’ve got ’em.
I’ll strike a barter with ya, true as the North star!
I’m curious. Is it strictly apathy or do you really not have a goal in life?
I’m not as dumd as you think I think I thought I was once.
I’m White. W-H-I-T…………………….E.
I’ve been to the Great Wall of China and I’ve seen the pyramaids in Egypt, I’ve even seen a grown man satisfy a camal.
i’ve got some shakles out the back if you want to go for a ride… just kidding. But seriously, i’ve got them!
If it’s almost a sport, we got it here.
If the team forfeits, it will really hurt their chances of winning.
if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball!
If you want dodgeball victory, you’ve gotta grab it by its haunches and you gotta hump it into submission – that’s the only way!
Im not on the clock right now.
Well that really great for you…and the clock.
Is it neccesary for me to drink my own urine!…no. But its sterile and I like the taste.
Is this really necessary?
Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
You’re right, but I drink it anyway, ’cause it’s sanitary and I like the taste.
is this really necessary? Is drinking my own urine necessary? No but i do it anyway because its sterile and i like the taste
It happened to my cousin Ray-Ray, BOOP! Dead.
It was like watching a bunch a retarts trying to hump a doorknob
It’s a 32 team match-up with 4 wins getting you into the finals and that fith win getting you the K everyone is chasing, Cotton.
It’s because Im white. W-H-I-T……….E, of course.
It’s called the Freedom of Information act, Kate. Ha, Finally the hippies got soemthing right. Just kidding, but not really.
It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a goddamn doorknob.
its me…grabbing the bull by the horns, its the way I look at life, its a metaphor…but it really happened
Ive got shareholders, you donÂ´t even have cupholders!
Joanie loves Chachie.
jonie loves chachie
Just don’t go cryin to your mama when I spank you in front of all of these people White. Oh yeah, don’t go cryin to your dad when I wipe it up with your face.
Kate: That’s a very… interesting painting you got their. Thanks. That’s me taking life by the horns. It’s a metaphore… But that really happened.
Kate: wow, nice painting. White: thanks, it’s of me taking the bull by the horns..it’s a metaphor-but it really happened
Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren’t you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Ya, that’s me. But I’m a big fan of yours
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Ya, I’ve been watching the dodgeball tournament on the ocho. ESPN 8. I just can’t get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I’m really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo gym. I think you better hurry up or you’re gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit… Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France 5 times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like… shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I’m sure this decision won’t haunt you forever.
Let me get a bottle of water. Hey aren’t you Peter LaFluer? I’m a huge fan, I’ve been following the tournament on ESPN 8 the ochco, I just can’t get enough of it.
Aren’t you Lance Armstrong?
Yeah that’s me. Hey, shouldn’t you be getting to the game?
Well, actually, I kind of quit.
I remember a time when I thought about quitting. I was diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer, all at the same time, but with the support of my family and friends, I wound up getting back on the bike, and winning five Tour De’ Frances in a row. So, what are you dieing form that’s keeping you from the game?
Well, actually, it seems kind of minor right now, shame.
Well, i’m sure this isn’t a dissision that will haunt you for the rest of your life, good luck.
Lets go crotch stain
Lets pecker slap these guys!
nessisery is it nessisery to drink my own urin no but i do anyway cause its steril and like the tast
No one can resist when White Goodman puts on his shiny shoes.
no one makes me bleed my own blood
No one makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood… NOBODY!!!
Now He is a Philoshizer
Now he thinks hes a philosophizer
Now he’s a philosophizer!
ok, crazy guy, if you dont mind i think im just gonna go home now…i aint crazy and i aint a guy…
Ok, ok I overdid. 2 expired movie passes and a coupon for one free back rub from Peter La Fleur? You play your cards right that could turn into a full body.
Ooch town population you, bro
Ouch-town; population you bro!
Patches- Hey I got some hookers in my room. Why don’t you come up, my treat. Peter- No, i think ill just hang down here. Patches- Suit yourself qwere
Patches: Oh my sweet dick it’s magic!
Pepper needs new shorts…
Peter La Fleur:You had me at blood and semen.
Peter: Patches, are you sure this is really necessary.
Patches: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway ’cause it’s sterile and I like the taste.
Right in the tuccus!
Thank you, Chuck Norris.
That guy’s a dickhead.
THAT IS PURE POPPY-COCK!
That is what I love about you Kate,you’ve got a personality!
That makes as much sense as a cockflavoured lollipop
that’s great. go ahead, make your jokes, mister…jokey…jokemaker.
That’s more like it boy, get in there nice and deeply…
The hippies finally got something right. Just Kidding. Not really.
There’s a guy on our team that’s dressed like a pirate?
There’s no reason that we should be shackled by the employee employer relationship. Unless your into that short of thing ..heh…in that case I’ve got some shackles in the back..heh. Just kidding, but serioulsny, I’ve got them.
They better chiggity check themselves before they wreck themselves.
this doesnt concern you LaFleuer….well not nearly as much as your hair does
This is like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.
this is pathetic! will someone just catch a damn ball? its like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doornob out there~
This is Seth from Videorama the following DVD’s are now overdue:
This is where we separate the men from the boys; and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
This tournament will separate the men from the boys, the strong from the weak, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
those jeans make u look fat
Trucker at carwash: Yeah!!!Get that there nice and deep like!!!!
Unfortunatly for Troup 417, during the ADAA requierd random drug screening, one of your players tested ositive for 3 seperate types of anabolic steroids, as well as a low grade… beaver tranqualizer. So, I guess the winner of this years Dodgeball Regional Qualifying Match, as well as the grammar Jamboree, is Average Joe’s Gym.
Wait. There’s a guy on our team who thinks he’s a pirate?
We should mate.
We should mate. Huh? What? Date. I said date. You know, socially.
we should mate…we should date, you know socially, go out and kick it
We’re sweating like grease monkeys out here, how do you expect us to hold onto balls??!!!
We’re sweating like greased monkeys out here, I can’t hold onto the ball!
Welcome to ESPN 8(The Ocho). If its almost a sport we’ve got it.
Well at least that wasn’t weird.
Well, if you can’t raise fifty-thousand dollars with an impromptu carwash, I guess it just wasn’t in the cards.
What… did fatty make a funny??
White – I’m not as stupid as you think that I thought that you said that I was once.
White Goodman: Oh, hello Kate. I wasn’t aware I was paying you to ‘socialize’
Kate: You’re not. I’m off the clock.
White Goodman: Well isn’t that convenient for you? And the clock.
White- You are going down La Fleur. Peter (talking to White)- Don’t go crying to your mommy when I spank you in front of all of these people. White (talking to Peter)- Well don’t go crying to your daddy when I clean it up with you.
White: Are you okay? Ms. Veatch: Yeah I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. White: You know in some places, they only eat vommit; I never been there, but I read about it…IN A BOOK
white: Ive got some shackles in the back…no im just kidding…but seriously i got em
White: What are you kidding me? I’m out here, bustig my butt, and your gunna come out here and make a bushleague call like that? thats bullcrap!
White: You slept with three of my female trainers.
Peter: That was one night.
White: Or that Strip-o-gram you sent me for the Globo Gym 1 year anniversary.
Peter: The stripper was ment to be congradulatory.
White: It was also a man.
Peter: Come on White, you and me are basically the same guy.
White: Oh really, last I heard my gym makes money, yours doesn’t. My gym is worth over $4 million dollars, yours isn’t worth 4. I have share holders, you haven’t even got… cup holders.
Peter: Why would I want cup holders.
Why don’t we just pay it in Canadian dollars. OK fine, just, if that’s a route your interested in traveling down, it’s $50,000 American, it’d be $70,000 roughly Canadian. How are we gonna get $120,000.
Winner: Troop 417
Yeah he will not be able to see very well Cotton.
Yeah you, queerbag
You don’t get to touch me ever!
You don’t get to touch me, ever.
You don’t have to be stuck with what you’ve got… we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders much like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.
you gotta learn the five D’s of dodgeball. dodge, duck, dip, dive, and…dodge.
You guys had me at blood and semen. Come here.
You had me at blood and semen
You work for the bank, the bank works for me… so if-so-facto, im your boss.
You’re about as useful as a boobie flavored lollipop.
You’re about as useful as a poopie flavored lollipop.
You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.
You’re about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollypop.
You’re adopted and your parents don’t even love you!
You’re adopted! Your parents don’t even love you!
You’re adopted. Your parents don’t even love you
You’re going down like a sweet muffin
You’re going down like a sweet muffin!
You’re in a chinese opium den timmy!
You’re like a bunch of fucking retards trying to hump a doorknob.
You’re no better than a poopie flavored lollipop
You’re out four eyes!
You’re their leader Pete. You’re like their Fonzee… EH!
your about as useful as a cock flavoured lollipop!!
Your adopted. Your parents don’t even love you.
Your adopted..your parents don’t even love you
your as useful as a cock flavoured lollypop
Your going down like a sweet muffin!
your gym is the skidmark on the underpants of society.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’: Quotes from the movie ‘Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’