Movie Quotes from Clerks: Quotes from the movie Clerks

…my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my current girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.

#1 Cute cat. What’s its name? #2 Annoying customer.

#1 Hey, are they any balls down there? #2 About the biggest pair you ever seen!…Dingleberry.

#1 Just go open the video store. #2 Yeah, you cock smokin’ clerk.

#1) Which one did you like better, Jedi or Empire? #2)Empire… #1)Blasphemy.

‘Empire’ had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is, a series of down endings. All ‘Jedi’ had was a bunch of Muppets.

(D:) You hate people! (R:)But I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?

….Are u sure?….Maybe theres like a vindictive printer working for you.. meaning like someone who maybe-I dont know asked her out once and got shot down, and its his revenge is throwing this bogus article in when the paper went to press…….. Hello? hello????

1) Call the cops, someones in the bathroom they just raped Caitlin! 2) She just said she did all the work

1) Cute cat, whats its name?
2) annoying customer
1) fucking dickhead!

1) Hey any balls down there?
2) About the biggest pair you’ve ever seen dingleberry!

1) How many times have I told you to stop dealing in front of the store?
2) I’m not dealing
3) Hey you got anything?
2) yea what do you want?

1) I could never reach 2) Reach what, your dick? 1) Yeah, like you said everybody gets curious and tries it 2) I never tried it…fucking pervert

1) My only question is how did she come to have sex with the dead guy?
2) She thought it was me.
1) What kind of convenience store do you run here?

1) Oh, that’s not bad, my cousin died from trying to suck his on cock. 2)Really? 1)Yeah, they found him doubled over under his bed

1) Shit, my grandma used to say what’s better, fuckin a good plate with nothin on it…no wait I fucked up…what’s a good plate with nothin on it. 2) meaning? 1) I don’t know she was senile and shit. She used to fuckin piss herslef all the time, and shit herself.

1) They say so much but they never say if it’s good! Are these any good? 2) Sorry I don’t watch movies. 1) Well have you heard anything about them? 2) I find it best to stay out of the personal affairs of others. (#1 turns around and then turns back to #2) 1) Okay, what about these? 2) They suck. 1) They’re the same movies! You weren’t paying attention. 2) I don’t appreciate your ruse. 1) My what? 2) Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me. 1) I was just pointing out that you weren’t listening! 2) And I hope it feels good. 1) You hope WHAT feels good? 2) Being right. There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others. 1) I’m never going to rent here again! 2) You will be missed. 1) Screw you! 2) Hey, you aren’t allowed to rent here anymore!! 3) Yeah!!!

1) What about these two? 2) They suck. 1) They’re the same movies.

1) Which is better, Empire or Jedi?
2) Empire
1) Blasphemy…

1) y’know, you and i are a lot alike. 2) how’s that? 1) we both eat chinese. 2) dick. 1) exactly.

1) You hate people
2) but I love gatherings, isnt it ironic?

1) You’ll sleep with anything that says yes
2) animal, mineral, or vegetable.

1)1.79. 2)Pay the good man.

1) My love for you is like a truck, berserker. Would you like some making fuck, berserker. 2)That’s fucking funny, man.

1)But you hate people.
2)Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?

1)Cute cat. What’s his name? 2)Annoying customer.

1)Do you mind if I drink this here? 2)Sure, go ahead.

1)Don’t hurt yourself, buddy. I’ll go to Big Choice Video instead. 2)Forgot your keys.

1)Friends, let me tell you ’bout another group of hate-mongers that were just following orders. 2)Who’s that? 1)They were called Nazies! 3)Friggin Nazi!

1)Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’m not even supposed to be here today!

1)Give me another ball. 2)There are no more. 1)What the fuck are you talking about? How many balls ya bring? 2)I brought the orange one and…the orange one. 1)Hey, there any balls down there?! 3)About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

1)God, that was so great! My legs are still shaking. 2)It wasn’t me. 1)Yeah, right. Who was it then? Randal? 2)Was it you?

1)Hell of a day. 2)To say the least.

1)I love you! Don’t feel sick! 2)Everytime I kiss you, I’m gonna taste 36 other guys.

1)I’m already in the job market. 2)You work in a market all right.

1)I’m stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off. The goddamn steel shutters are closed. I deal with every backward-assed fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks. 2)37. 1)My life’s in the shitter right now, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to stew a bit.

1)It wasn’t directed at you. I was making a broad generalization. 2)You were making a generalization about broads.

1)My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks. 2)In a row?!

1)No time for love, Dr. Jones. 2)Fucking kids.

1)Oh come on, tell there isn’t any customers who annoy the piss out of you. 2)There aren’t! 1) How can you lie like that?1 1) Ok fine, you know, there are some. 2) Like? 1)The milk maids. 2)..the milk maids?

1)Oh, look at you, you can’t even pass. 2)I can pass. 1)How ’bout covering the point? Man, you suck! 2)Who are you to make assessments? 2)I’ll assess all I want, pal!

1)Pack of cigarettes. 2)Are you sure? 1)Am I sure about what? 2)Do you really wanna buy those cigarettes? 1)Are you serious? 2)How long you been smoking? 1)What is this, a poll? 2)How long you been a smoker? 1)I don’t know. Since I was about 13. 2)13. Lets see, you’re about 19, 20? Am I right? 1)What in the hell is that? 2)That’s your lung. By this time, your lung looks like this. 1)You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. 2)YOu think I’m shitting you? Here. 1)What’s this? 2)Its a trach ring. Its what they install in your throat when throat cancer takes your voice box. This one came out of a 60 year old man. He smoked until the day he died.

1)So the casket fell over. Big deal! 2)Her fucking body fell out! 1)They put her back in it! Its not like it matters if she breaks something!

1)Theoretically, eople see money on the counter, and no one around, they think they’re being watched. 2)Honesty through paranoia.

1)This has got to be the weirdest thing you’ve been called in on. 2)Nope, a kid broke his neck trying to go down on himself.

1)What are you watching? 2)Child Programming

1)What are you watching? 2)Children’s programming.

1)What is that anyway–‘something like 36’? Does that include me? 2)Uh, 37.

1)Which did you like better, Return of the Jedi, or Empire Strikes Back? 2)Empire. 1)Blasphemy.

1)Who eats cock? 2)Bunch of savages in this town.

1)Why do I have this life? 2)Have some chips. You’ll feel better.

1)Why don’t you open the shutters–get some sunlight in here? 2)Someone jammed gum in the locks. 1)You’re kidding. 2)Bunch of savages in this town.

1)Why the shutters closed? 2)Someone jammed gum in the locks. 1)Bunch of savages in this town. 2)Huh, that’s what I said.

1)You can’t rent videos here anymore
2)YYYYEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

1)You hate people Randal. 2)But I love gatherings. It’s ironic.

1)You hate people. 2)But I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?

1)You know hwo I can do without? I can do without the people in the video store. 2)Which ones? 1)All of ’em.

1)you know what I just finished watching? 2)me pulling a chip can off some moron’s fist?

1)You know what the real problem here is? 2)I was born?

1)You seen any keys? 2)No time for love Doctor Jones.

1)You slept with 12 different girls? 2)Including you? Yes. OW! What’d you do that for? 1)You’re a pig! 2)Why’d you hit me? 1)Do you know how many different men I’ve had sex with? 2)Oh, do I get to hit you after you tell me? 1)Three. 2)Three? 1)3, including you. 2)You only slept with 3 different people? 1)I’m not the pig you are. 2)Who? 1)You!

1)You think anybody can see us down here? 2)Why, do you wanna have sex or something? 1)Can we?! 2)Really? 1)I was kidding.

1. And I don’t appreciate your ruse ma’am. 2.My what? 1. Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.

1. Excuse me….sir. Do you know if any of these movies are any good? 2. I dont know, I don’t watch movies. 1. Well have you heard anybody say anything about them? 2. I find its best to stay out of other peoples affairs. 1. You mean you havent heard anyone say anything about either one of these? 2. Nope. 1. Well what about these two? 2. Oh they suck. 1. These are the same two movies–you werent paying any attention. 2. No, I wasn’t. 1. I don’t think you manager would appreciate….. 2. I dont appreciate your rues ma’am 1. I beg your pardon. 2. Your rues, your cunning attempt to trick me. 1. I was just pointing out that you weren’t paying any attention to what I was saying. 2. And I hope it feels good. 1. You hope what feels good? 2. I hope it feels so good to be right. Theres nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the short comings of others is there. 1. Well this is the last time I rent here. 2. You will be missed. 1. Screw you! 2. Hey, you’re not allowed to rent here anymore! 3. YEAH!!!

1. my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks
2. In a row?

1. My girlfriends sucked 50 dicks
2. In a row?

1. She called you Brad? 2. She called me Brad.

1.You hate people! 2.But I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?

1: I don’t appreciate your ruse, ma’am.
2: I beg your pardon?
1: Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me.

1: You hate people!
2: I know. I hate people, but I love gatherings. Isn’t that ironic.

1:Which did you like better, Jedi or The Empire Strikes back? 2:Empire. 1:Blasphemy.

36 dicks?you mean i’m number 37?

37?!?

we quit! you dont even work here! not anymore we dont

A woman makes a guy come, it’s standard. A guy makes a woman come, it’s talent.

ah girl like five rows above this post its 37 not fifty

Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved. If they got killed, it’s their own fault.

Bunch of savages in this town!

Bunch of savages in this town.

CAITLIN: can i use the bathroom? RANDAL: theres no lights back there. CAITLIN: why arent there any lights? RANDAL: well there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. CAITLIN: you’re kidding. RANDAL: nobody can figure it out. and the boss doesn’t want to pay the electrician to fix it cause the elctrician owes money to the video store. CAITLIN: such a sordid state of affairs. RANDAL: and i’m caught in the middle–torn between my loyalty for the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.

Can anyone see us down here?
Why? You wanna have sex?
Can we?
Really?

Cancer Merchant! Cancer Merchant! Cancer Merchant! Cancer Merchant!

Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.
And you rented this?
Hey I like to expand my horizons.

Customer: What’s that cats name?
Worker: Its Annoying customer!

DAMN SILENT BOB YOUR A RUDE MOTHER FUCKER, BUT YER REAL CUTE THOUGH. I’D LIKE TO GO DOWN ON YOU, SUCK ON YOU, LINE UP THREE OTHER GUYS, AND MAKE OUT LIKE A CIRCUS SEAL. AHHHH, FUCKIN FAGGOT, I HATE GUYS, I LOVE WOMEN!

dante: my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks?
guy: in a row?????…….

Did he just say ‘making fuck’?

Did he just sing making fuck?

Did he say making fuck?

Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year?

Do you know how much money the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?

Do you think your average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main?

Don’t pass to this guy! He sucks! You suck.

Don’t pass to this guy, he sucks! YOU SUCK!

Don’t suck any dick on the way to parking lot either. Hey you stay there.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I used to fuck her

Don’t you have jobs to go to? Get outta here! Go commute!

Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett – It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is – a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of muppets.

Ever notice that all the prices end in 9? Damn thats eerie.

Everybody that comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.

Fucking a dead guy she’ll get over fucking a dead guy my moms been fucking a dead guy for 23 years I call him dad.

Happy Scrappy Hero Pup

Happy Scrappy!!!!

Here comes randal he’s a berserker

Here comes Randell, he’s a berzerker

Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

His name is ‘Sang’? Past tense?

Honesty through paranoia.

How did she come to have sex with a dead man?

I am a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.

I am not any supose to be hear today.

I brought the orange one…aaaaand the orange one!

I don’t know if you’ve notices, but cum leaves streaks if you don’t clean it right away.

I don’t need this. I’m not even supposed to be here today.

I don’t see how you could even romanticize your relationship with Caitlin. She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles.

I don’t watch movies.

I EAT COCK

I feel good today Silent Bob. We’re gonna make some money, then you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna go to that party, we’re gonna get some pussy and i’ma fuck this bitch and i’ma fuck this bitch….I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!

I hate guys. I love women!

I LOVE WOMEN!

I love your sex talk its so kindergarten. poo-poo! wee-wee!

I mean that’s what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.

I think about one fight a day with Veronica is all about I can stomach, thanks.

I think the arguments Veronica and I have been having are some kind of manifestation of a subconcious desire to break up with her. So I can pursue a more meaningful relationship with Caitlin.

I’d like to get paid to sit on my ass and watch TV.

I’d like to go down on you and about 2 other guys, make like a circuis seal.

I’ll fuck this bithc, I’ll fuck that bitch, I’ll fuck anything that moves! Ya know Silent Bob that’s preety rude. You’re kinda cute though. I’ll go down on you, suck you, line up three more guys and make like a circus seal! Ew you fucking faggot! I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN! What you want Grizzly Adams?

I’m a firm believer in a ruling class, especially since I rule.

I’m a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.

I’m astonished to hear you trivialize my role in your sex life.

I’m in favor of a ruling. Especially since I rule.

I’m not even supposed to BE here today

I’m not even supposed to Be here today!

I’m not even supposed to BE here today!!

I’m not even supposed to be here!

I’m not even supposed to be here, today!

I’m offering you my body, and you’re offering me semantics.

I’m torn between loyalty to my boss, and my want to piss with the light on.

ill fuck anything that moves

im not even supposed to BE HERE today

In light of this lurid tale, I don’t even see how you could romanticize your relationship with Caitlin. She broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles.

it’s important to have a meaningful job guys. I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

It’s not like you laid the eggs yourself

It’s that kind of mentality that allows the cancer-producing industry to survive. Of course we’re all going to die someday, but do we have to pay for it? Do we actually have to throw hard-earned dollars on the counter and say, ‘Please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please, sell me something that will stink up my breath and my clothes and fry my lungs?’

Making a man climax isn’t at all challenging…now making a woman cum…therein lies a challenge

Man, I hate it when I can’t rent videos!

Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as a oral bowel movement.

Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.

Melodrama coming from you is about as normal as an oral bowel movement.

My cousin died while he was trying to suck his own dick.

My friend here is trying to tell me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted death star were innocent victoms when they were destroyed by the rebels.

my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
-in a row?

My love for you is like a truck, Berserker!
Would you like some making f**k, Berserker!

my love for you is like a truck, berzerker!
would you like some making fuck, berzerker!

My love for you is like a truck, Berzerker! Would you like some making fuck, Berzerker!

my love for you is ticking clock ber zer ker…would you like to suck my cock ber-zer-ker

My love for you is ticking clock.. BE-ZER-KER! Would you like to suck my cock? BE-ZER-KER!

My mom’s been fuckin’ a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

My mom’s been fucking a dead guy for years, I call him dad

No time for love Dr Jones!

No, because you won’t admit to it. As if a guy’s a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You’re as curious as the rest of us, pal. You’ve tried it.

Noise noise noise, smokin weed, smokin weed, drinkin beer, doin coke. Pack a reds my good man it is time to kick back drink some beers and smoke some weed!

Noise, noise, noise. Smokin weed, smokin weed, doin coke, drinkin beers… Pack of wraps my good man, time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed.

Not all girlfriends bring you lazana to work. Most of them just cheat on you.

Not in me. Thats what she says. I gotta pull out and spank it to get it on. So I blow a nut on her belly,and I get out of there, just as my uncle walks in. It was such a close call. I tell you what though, I dont care if shes my cousin Im gonna knock those boots agian tonight.

Now, making a woman come – therein lies the challenge.

Oh hey Kaitland, break his heart again and this time I’ll kill you.

Oh, Caitlin? Break his heart again this time and I’ll kill ya. Nothing personal.

Oooh! Navy Seals!

Ooooh Navy Seals!!

Ooooh…. Navy Seals.

People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl ‘Mom.’

people yell out all kinds of weird stuff during sex. one time i yelled out ‘mom’.

R: Hey we have something in common, we both like to eat chinese! C: Dick! R: Exactly!

Randall: Girl was nuts, man. She cheated on you how many times? Dante: Eight and a half. Randall: Eight and a half? Dante: Party at John Kay’s senior year. I get drunk and pass out in the bedroom. Caitlin comes in and is all over me. Randall: So, that’s cheating? Dante: No. In the middle of it she called me Brad. Randall: She called you Brad? Dante: She called me Brad. Randall: Oh, that’s not cheating. People say crazy shit during sex. One time, I called this girl mom.

Remind me if he tries to buy something… I’d like to shit in his bag.

Salsa shark we need to get a bigger boat. Man goes into cage cage goes into salsa sharks in salsa our shark.

Salsa Shark.

Salsa shark. Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark’s in the salsa. Our shark. We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

Salsa shark. We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Silent bob: You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

Smokin weed, smokin weed, drinkin beers, gettin pussy.

So whats your encore, will you like analy rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

So you sell hubcaps for a 72 Pinto hatchback?

Sometimes people say some crazy shit during sex, one time I called this girl mom!

Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.

Takes different strokes to move the world.

Territoriality. He was mine first.

That’s all right, your missing out on chicks with dicks.

that’s why I manually masterbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Thats what high school is all about, algebra, bad lunch, and infedelity.

thats why i manualy mastebate caged animals for artificial insemination.

The Best of Both Worlds. Hermaphroditic porn- chicks with dicks that put mind to shame.

There was a lot of good in our relationship… Aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean, that’s what high school is about: algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.

There’s alot of fine lookin’ ladies in the world but not may of them will bring you lasagna at work.

There’s nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.

Theres a million fine women in this world but they dont all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

They never rent quality flicks. They always pick the most intellectually deviod movie on the racks.

They say so much, but they never tell you if it’s any good.

Think the average stormtrooper knows how to install a toilet main? All’s they know is killin’ and white uniforms.

This is where you’re heading – cruddy lung, smoking through a hold in your throat. Do you really want that?

This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers

This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.

This job would be great if it weren’t for the customers

This job’d be great if it weren’t for the f**king customers

title dictates behaviour

Title does not dictate behaviour.

Try not to blow anyone on the way to the parking lot!

Try not to suck and d**k on your way to the parking lot!

Try not to suck any dick in the parking lot!

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!!! Hey you- get back here!

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot.

try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot….hey you get back here.

Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!

Try not to suck any dicks on the wa to the parking lot…Hey you , get back here!!!

Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot!

TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICKS ON YOUR WAY OUT OF THE PARKING LOT! HEY YOU GET BACK OVER HERE!

Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes!

Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarrettes.

Veronica: somthing like 36…
Dante: What does that mean anyway? does that include me?!?
Veronica: 37…
Dante: I’M 37!!?!?!
Veronica: I’m goin to class
Dante: my god… 37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
Randall: In a row?
Dante: Hey where you goin?
Veronica: hey listen jerk, until today you didn’t even know how many guys a slept with because you never even bothered to ask then you act on non-shollott about fucking 12 different girls when i never had sex with 12 different guys!
Dante: no but you sucked enough dick!
Veronica: Yeah i went down on a few guys!
Dante: A FEW?!
Veronica: and one of those guys was you, the last one i might add which if you’re too stupid to comprehend means i’ve been fathful to you since we’ve met. all the other guys i went with were before i met you so if you wanna have a complence about it go ahead but don’t look at me like i’m the tampbar because you were pleanty of yourself before you met me
Dante: well, why’d you have to suck that dick why couldn’t you just sleep with em like any other normal person?
Veronica: because going down isn’t a big deal, i used to like a guy we’d make out and sooner or later i’d go down on him but i only had sex with the guys i loved
Dante: i feel sick
Veronica: i love you Don’t feel sick
Dante:everytime i kiss you i taste 36 other guys
Veronica:i’m going to school maybe later you’ll be a bit more rational
Dante: 37, i just can’t-
Veronica: good-bye Dante!
Dante: Hey try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!
Hey, hey you get back here

We’re gonna croak sometime.

Well, I didn’t just fuck myself!

Well, you 2 lovebirds take it easy, okay?

what choo want grizzle adams

What do you care you shoepolish smelling motherfucker?

What do you mean there’s no ice? You mean I gotta drink this coffee hot?

What smells like shoe polish?

What the fuck are you lookin at? I’ll kick your fuckin ass! Shit yeah. Don’t that mother fucker owe me ten bucks? You know tonight we’re gonna rip off this mother fuckers head, take out his fuckin soul.

What’s next?You anally rape my mom while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

What’s up baby? What’s up sluts?

What’s up bitches, what’s up sluts.

What’s your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

who’s leading this mob? freeze! let’s see some credentials. chewlies gum? and you’re stirring up all of this anti smoking sentiment, to what sell more gum? get out of here. and you. don’t you have jobs? go commute. bunch of easily lead automotons. try thinking for yourself before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes.

who’s leading this mob? freeze, let’s see some credentials. chwlies gum? and what your stirring up all this anti smoking sentiment, to what sell more gum? get out of here. and you don’t you have jobs? go commute. bunch of easily lead automotons, try thinking for yourself before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes

Why do you smell like shoe polish?

Why don’t you vent? Vent your frustrations.

Will you just Rando out of here for me?

Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that’s what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

You ever notice that all the prices end in ‘9’? Damn that’s eerie.

You feeling limber?

You get me slapped with a fine. You argue with the customers, and I have to patch everything up. You get us thrown out of the funeral for violating the corpse, then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what’s your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

You have so much potential that’s going to waste in this pit.

You have to take pride in your work. That’s why I manually masturbate animals for artificial insemination.

You know how much money the average jiz mopper makes per hour?

You know I’m your hero.

You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

You know, there’s a million fine-lookin’ women in the world, dude, but they don’t all bring ya lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on ya.

You know, you and I both have something in common…we both eat Chinese.

You mean, you fucked a dead guy!?!?

You sold cigarettes to a 4-year-old? What a scumbag.

You think that’s offensive? Check this out…(shows customer picture in magazine)…I think you can see her kidneys.

You’d feel a hell of alot better if you’d just rip into the occasional customer.

You’d feel a lot better if you’d just rip into the occasional customer.

You’d feel a lot better if you’d rip into the occasional customer.

You’ve had sex with a dead person?

your not allowed to rent videos here anymore. God im not even supposed to be here today.

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Clerks’: Quotes from the movie ‘Clerks’

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