Movie Quotes from Buying the Cow: Quotes from the movie Buying the Cow

Behind ever hot chic is a guy that’s tired of banging her.

boys are cheats and liars, they’re such a big disgrace they will tell u n e thing 2 get to 2nd BASEball baseball he thinks hes gunna score, if u let him go all the way then u r a WHOREnologist studies flowers, geologist study rocks, the only thing guys want from u is somewhere 2 put his COCKroachs, beetles, butterflies, and bugs nutthin makes him happier then a giant pair of JUGalers and acrabats, a dancing bear named chuch all guys really want 2 do 4*get it no such luck!

i’d seen the light, it was this glaringly obvious blind realization, like pure truth. it wasnt about anyone imparticular, but about people in general. I realized at that moment, there is no such thing as the one. it’s more of a mind boggling whole hell of a lot of pontential ones, and while that should be comforting, its actually pretty terrifying. we’d all like to kick back, and wait for some magical force to show us who we should spend the rest of our lives with, but the truth is there isn’t a lightning bolt that slaps you on the ass, and tells you to pick this person over all others. if anything its like the rain. Rain falls all the time. sometimes your prepared for it, sometimes your not, and depending on where you are when it hits you either get caught in it, or you dont. in fact most of us try like hell to avoid it. you might miss the bus, you might catch the bus. maybe you remembered your umbrella, maybe you didn’t. no big signs just random torrential bursts of opportunity and thats the most fate can do, the rest is up to us.

It only seems different now that you outgrew it.

my name is Mike Hansen, and I am a raging homosexual

Theres an old saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Its a fascinating philosophical query-marriage vs. sex. And if you’re considering the former, odds are you’ll hear the saying from a friend claiming to be getting an abundant amount of the latter. And incidently, it’s bullshit.

We’re not fishing anymore, we’re at the aquarium not, looking at all the exotic fishies. OOH, look they even have a petting tank

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?


Yay, a dollar! Now I can quit stripping, go back to vet school, and save my sick pony.

You see, scummings like fishing. If you’re dream girl were a fish what would she be? 2) I don’t know, tuna? 1) Yeah! No. A marlin. A big trophy fish. You know to catch a marlin you have to use entirely different skills. I mean, you don’t go out Marlin fishing with a sorry ass fold-out pole six pound test. No. That’ll do for bass, but it sure ain’t shit gonna land a Marlin. See you got to up your game. You’ve got to know where the elusive beauties lise, you gotta know where to fish. They’re rare brother, they’re rare. Most days you don’t catch shit but when you do…wham! The two of you are back at the dock takin pictures.

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