Movie Quotes from Big Hit, The: Quotes from the movie Big Hit, The

#1 Can I ask you a question? #2 Yeah baby. #1 Where the FUCK have you been all week?

#1 Here read this. #2 Father. I have been abduct. I am fine. #1 Abducted. #2 It says abduct. #1 Just say abducted. #2 I have been abducted. I am fine right now but I might not be for loring. If you do not pay the sun of 1 million doolars. #1 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Loring? The sun of 1 million doolars? What the? #2 That’s what it says. #1 That’s for long, and the sum of 1 million dollars. You know what it means. #2 I don’t know what it means.

#1 I’d like to propose a toast to my wife. #2 Oh, Morty. #1 A lovely woman who over the past 8 years has cost me over $200 000 in plastic surgery bills. What was the end result of all that surgery. A 57 year old woman with the face of a 25 year old ape. #2 Oh Morton. #1 Shut your pisk.

#1 Let me guess this is a kidnapping right? #2 That’s right. #1 So what’s up with you guys, you supposed to be the spice boys or something.

#1 Yo baby, you got a number for me. #2 Yeah, 911.

#1 Yo, are you gonna stand there and tell me you ain’t never jerked your dick in your whole life, until last week. That’s bullshit man. #2 I aint never needed to. I been fucking since I was 10. #3 I can relate to that.

#1 You don’t seem like a kidnapper. #2 Well I’m actually not. Technically you could call me a hitman. #1 Really, a hitman? Does that pay well. #2 Of course, I make a killing.

#1 You told me to read the note, you never said to improv it. #2 Oh, improve, what are you, Meryl fucking Streep? OK improv the note. #1 These sexually frustrated degenerate losers mean business. #2 Don’t, don’t, don’t improv the note. Don’t improve the note. Gump, give me a fucking pen. (scriblles on note) Read it. #1 Dad been kidnapped send 1 million or I’m .. dead.

(1)Technically, you can call me a hitman.
(2) Really? A hitman? Does that pay well?
(1) Oh of course. I make a killing.

(As he pulls into the driveway) Wrong house again arsehole.

(Has just been stabbed) Well ain’t that a bitch. All I wanted to do was to sail my boat man. You know, navigate by the stars. See the dolphins racing alongside the boat. Maybe even kill a few.

(Phone is ringing) #1 Hello. #2 Melvin Smiley please. #1 This is he. #2 Mr Smiley, Big Top Video. We’re calling to inform you that you’ve had our copy of King Kong Lives out for over 2 weeks now. Return it immediately or we will have you killed!

(Said to the video store worker) You know I take a lot of shit from you. I put up with your high prices, your lousy selection, and your rude phone calls. I just want to tell you one think. I will never, ever rent tapes from this store you snotty little…

1) Daddy, I think that you better…. 2) Honey sit down and shut your pisk

1)It’s a stretch limo 2)Stretch this

1)wrong house again asshole! 2)sorry

Bullshit!Don’t you fuck with us,mister,or we’ll send your daughter back to you in little fucking pieces!Now you got til noon tomorrow to get us that million or your little precious daughter is a slab of fucking meat,you understand me?!

Cisco,I can do this.Man,I ain’t no fuckup.I can do this.I’m gonna prove it.I’m gonna prove my ass to all you motherfuckers that I can handle!I can handle my business!

Cisco:Shit man,when I found you,you was nothin’.I got you a job,I taught you everything you know!Hey yo,Mel.Remember that promise I made about my boat?I lied,you ain’t gettin’ shit!Mel:Hey Cisco,you know what? I don’t give a fuck!

Cisco:Yo,Gump.I don’t want no fuckups on this kidnapping,boy.Gump:Hey,yo,I ain’t like that no more,kid.Yo,you knows I gots my shit,uh-uh..Cisco:Together.You gots your shit together,you non-word remembering motherfucker.

Fucky-sucky me love you long time!

Good work, good work, good work

hey bro be carefull thats fragile crystal, you break it and you’ll be ack driving taxis

I gots this shit well in control! We’re about to get paid

i said lanoline mother fucker not this alovera bullshit

I think he’s pissed about the note.

Ladies, you’re so fine I want to pour milk over you and make you a part of my complete breakfast.

Look if your going to be with me there are certain things you have to understand. I’m a contract killer. You know I murder people for money. So far they’ve all been bad people, give or take a few obnoxious ones. I mean that’s what I do, thats the only thing I’m good at.

lookin kinda diesel there kidd.

Mel, do you think my ass is still perky?

Mel:She ain’t no bitch,man.Cisco:Oh,she’s not a bitch.I see,you like this one.Shit,come on she tricked you,fool!Just another ho manipulatin’your sorry ass to get what she wants!

Melvin, pal, the hundred or so people you’ve murdered over the past five years probably have relatives that don’t think too highly of you.

Oh you’d be surprised how many homeless people buy computers.

Ohhhh gross you nasty mother.

She’s the one.


The idea of those two women not liking me is more than I can stand. I can’t stand the idea of anybody not liking me OK? There I said it. The truth. That’s the truth. #2 Heh yo Mel. #1 What? #2 The 100 or so people you murdered in the past 5 more than likely have relatives that don’t think to highly of you. Hahahahah

The idea of those two women not liking me is more that I can stand. I can’t stand the idea of anybody not liking me. Okay? There I said it. The truth. That’s the truth.

The most expensive stand up in the history of motion picture marketing. Awesome.

There’s your fucking movie!

Understand this, okay? I absolutely, positively cannot be the only person falling head over heels in love in this relationship. It’s got to be mutual.

Well ain’t that a bitch… All I wanted to do was to sail my boat, man, you know? Navigate by the stars, see dolphins race alongside, you know, maybe even kill a few of them.

What would you do to someone who decided to fuck with you in your own house?

you know i still love you baby {kisses both guns, then fires}

You know your Dad’s movie display, it was really well made.

You let dat bitch go? I can’t believe how fucking stupid you are,man.

You never learn man,haven’t I taught you nothin’? She don’t like you. Hell,man! I don’t fucking like you!

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