# Movie Quotes from Better Off Dead…: Quotes from the movie Better Off Dead…

Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.

#1- Oh no not now. #2- What do they want? #1- They want to race. #3- Lane Myer the kid from Green Bayâ€¦ #1- See hereâ€™s a good example two brothers, one speaks no English, the other learned to speak from watching Wide World of Sports. So you tell me which is better speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell?

(1)Four weeks. Twenty papers. That’s two dollars. Plus tip.
(2)Gee, Johnny, I don’t have a dime. Sorry.
(1)Didn’t ask for a dime. Two dollars.
(2)Well, it’s funny, see, my mom had to leave early to take my, my
brother to school and my dad to work, ’cause-
(1)Two dollars. Cash.
(2)See, the problem here is, is that my little brother, this
morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and, and uh, my
grandmother dropped acid, and she freaked out and hijacked a
school bus full of penguins, so it’s kind of a family crisis, so,
come back later? Great.

(1)Oh no not now. (2)What do they want? (1)They want to race. (3)Lane Myer the kid from Green Bay. (1)See hereâ€™s a good example – two brothers, one speaks no English, the other learned to speak from watching Wide World of Sports. So you tell me which is better, speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell?

(1)The three cardinal trapezoidal formations hereto made orientable in our diagram by connecting the various points HIGK, PEGQ, and LMNO, creating our geometric configurations… which have no properties but with location…
(2)Ohh
(1)Are equal to the described triangle CAB, quintuplicated. Therefore, it is also the five triangle composing the aforementioned NIGH each are equal to the triangle CAB in this geometric concept!
(2)Hahahaha!
(1)Therefore, in a like manner, the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral sum. This was your assignment.

(1)Truly, a sight to behold. A man, beaten. The once great champ, now a study in moppishness. No longer the victory hungry stallion we’ve raced so many times before, but a pathetic, washed-up, aged ex-champion.
(2)Alright, let’s go!

(he sniffs up snow using a straw) Aw, aw. I think I just froze the left side of my brain! Look! I can’t move my right arm!

-You must obey the proper speed limit, a car is not a toy.
-Well you sure got my vote for cutest couple. You better shave her a little closer before you kiss her goodnight.

…after the olympics everything looked so damn easy…..

..and this Ricky he puts his testicles all over me. WHAT?! How do you say, octopus? TENTICLES! N, T.

1) Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ a way a perfectly good white boy like that.
2) Real shame.

1) What are those? 2)Those are the keys to this establishment. I want you here at 6:15, this place has to be mopped and clean before the breakfast crew arrives. (person 1 starts to get up) 2)Where you goin’! 1) To wash my hands I gotta pat and mold! 2) You wash your hands on your own time boy!

1)Fat pig. 2) What was that?! 1)Pat,pat pig.

1)Lane, what are you doing? 2)nothing 1)yes you are

1)two dollars 2)sorry i haven’t got a dime 1)didn’t ask for a dime…two dollars

1)Well, I guess this is it. 2)Please hurry. We have unfinished business. Do not forget. 1)Huh? 2)Language lessons. 1)What, are you going to teach me French? 2)The international language. *they kiss* 2)Kick his a**.

1. what IS this? 2. It’s bacon. I knew you didn’t like all of the grease from fried bacon. So I boiled it.

1.What is this?2.Bacon, I know how you don’t like all the grease so I boiled it.

2 dollars

2 dollars, I WANT my 2 dollars!

[doorbell rings, #2 answers, #1 is standing on porch] 1) Four weeks, twenty papers, thats two dollars. 2) Sorry, I don’t got a dime. 1) Don’t want a dime. Two dollars. 2) Its a funny story, you see my mom had to leave early to take my little brother to school and my dad to work so.. 1) [threateningly] Two dollars. 2) The thing is, this morning my little brother got his arm caught in the microwave and my mom had to take him to the hospital, then my grandma dropped some acid and she kinda freaked out and hijacked a schoolbus…full of penguins. So its kinda a family emergency so if you could just come back later? Thanks. [shuts door quickly]

And you find the school system… Adequate?

Are you ready for me, Hoops?

Awwwww, buck up little camper!

Beth *animated*: Listen, Lane! You forget! Chris Cummins dates the basketball team! Not certain members of the team, Lane! The WHOLE TEAM!

Breakin’ up is hard to do.

Buck up little camper, we’ll beat this slope…..together.

Buuuuuutttttt I’m willin’ to give you the benefit of the doubt….that will be 13 dollars and 37 cents.

Cast your mind if you will…it was a crisp September morn…

Come on Lane, mellow off. You’re really bringing me over, man.

damn, thats a shame when people be throwin away a perfectly good white boy

Do you have Christmas in France? Christ-MAAAAAAS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE STREET VALUE OF THIS MOUNTAIN IS?!?

Dying when you’re not really sick is really sick

Elaine, this is FABULOUS liqueur! Reminds me of the moonshine Ricky’s pappy used to make.

Everybody Wants Some.

Everyone is going to be waering one?

Fifty ways to leave your lover.

Friends….you know, friends?

Fronch dressing. Fronch fries. Fronch bread. And to drink….Peru!

Gee Rickey-I’m really sorry your mom blew up

Gee, I’m real sorry your mom blew up Ricky. Doctor says she’s gonna be okay though. She just can’t have any spicy foods for a while.

Gee, Ricky I’m real sorry your mom blew up!

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way… turn.

Go that way, really fast; if something gets in your way . . . turn.

Go that way.. reallllly fast.. if something gets in your way.. TURN

Greendale is an incredibly small town, dude. I can’t even get real drugs here!

Greendale is an incredibly small town, dude. I can’t even get real drugs here!

He snorts nasil spray? Know where I can score some?

Here Comes Santa Claus.

Hey Badger, your book on how to pick-up trashy women came today. Tell me something what’s a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this.

Hey meyer,be sure to shave her before you kiss her goodnight

Hey, Lane, I know this is a little strange with me being a cartoon and all, but I was wondering how you’d feel if I took out Beth?

Him? And her? That makes sense.

I really think it’s in my best interest if I went out with someone more popular.

I see we share one common desire, the desire to be part of the well oiled machinery that is the greendale high ski team.

I think I froze the left half of my brain. LOOK! I can’t move my right arm!

I think I froze the left half of my brain. Look! I canâ€™t move my right arm!

I think I froze the right side of my brain…..Look I can’t move my right arm.

I want my two dollars!

I want my two dollars.

I’m going to race, I’m going to lose and I’m going to die.

I’m going to race. I’m going to lose. And I’m going to die.

I’m gonna activate your dental plan!

I’m real sorry your mom blew up Ricky.

I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

I’M REALLY SORRY I BLEW YOUR MOM UP RICKY.

I’m sorry your mom blew up

I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy.

I’ve been going to this highschool for seven years. I’m no dummy….

I’ve been going to this school for seven and a half years, I’m no dummie.

Iâ€™ve been going to this high school for 7 Â½ years, Iâ€™m no dummyâ€¦

It doesn’t work; nothing works. My little brother is building a space shuttle out of household appliances. You know, like vacuum cleaners & blenders. That thing is probably going to work, I can’t get that thing out of the driveway.

It has raisins…you like raisins

It’s an awesome spectacle. An audacious display of seething opponents once again parallel in an obstinate attempt to prove superiority of the roads unequaled in our lifetime. The crowds swell with anticpation as the lights turn green!

It’s damn shame when people be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.

It’s got raisins in it. You like raisins.

It’s got raisins in it. You like raisins.

J: Two Dollars. L:Gee Johnny, I don’t have a dime. J: I didn’t ask for a dime. Two dollars…cash.

Johnny: Two weeks…twenty papers…that’s two dollars…>
Lane: Gee Johnny, I don’t have a dime!
Johnny: Didn’t ask for a dime…TWO DOLLARS!

Just go that way real fast. If something gets in your way, just turn.

Lane Myer… Is he your main weiner man?

Lane Myers. A study in moppishness.

Lane, Can I take Beth out

Lane, I’ve been going to this high school for seven and half years. I’m no dummy, I know high school.

Lane, I’ve been going to this school for seven years! I’m no dummy!

Lane, what are you doing?

LANE: SOMETHING WRONG MONIQUE. MONIQUE: HEY YES SOMETHING IS WRONG, IT’S THIS, HOW YOU SAY DORKHEAD, IS AN UNLEASHED SEX FEIN, L: WHO? RICKY! YOU THINK HE GET BORED HE GO AWAY NO INSTEAD HE PUTS HIS TESTICLES ALL OVER ME L: TESTICLES? M: HOW YOU SAY OCTOPUS. L: TENTACLES TENTACLES N..T..

Language lessons. Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski.

Listen Lane, don’t forget: Chris Cummins dates the basketball team, not certain members of the team, Lane, the whole team.

Little girl, I’m gonna’ have nightmares just knowing that dog exists.

Look Beth, I gotta go. The Christmas tree is on fire!

Look Lane, your really bringing me over man…

Man that’s a real shame when white folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Merci buckets.

Mercy Buckets

My brother makes this monster egg nog…with lighter fluid.

Noooooooooo…I can’t swim!!!!!!!!

Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Now you tell me which is better: speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell?

Oh, the humanity! Thank you very much for the ride.

ricky smith how you say dork head, is an unleashed sex feind

Right off….On right on..

She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn’t speak imbecil.

She’s gone.

Sorry your mom blew up ricky.

Suicide is never the answer little trooper

Suicide is never the answer, little trooper. Greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. It’s a flyspeck on the map. A rest stop on the way to a ski slope. I can’t even get real drugs here.

That’s a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that.

The sublime metamorphesis of the lane meyer…

They’re out there dad, they’re after me!

This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

This is pure snow! It’s everywhere! Have you any idea of what the street value of this mountain is?

This is when Lane gets some skates to get Chris to go out with him…
Lane: *bumps into Chris* Excuse me…
*Chris’ table*
Team: *growls quizzically and goes back to eating baby food*
*back at the line*
Lane: I was wondering…You skate, I skate, we skate. And maybe we can get together and kinda…
Chris: You’re a jerk! *skates off*
Lane: …Be a skating team.

And it gets even worse as he still tries to ask her out, only to fall and rip off her uniform, inciting the wrath of her harem of jocks.

This mountain is pure snow! Do you know the street value for this?

Tree Trimmer: Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.

Twenty papers: two dollars.
Gee johnny I dont have a dime.
Didn’t ask for a dime….Two dollars…cash.

Two dollars, I WANT my two dollars!

Two Dollars. TWO DOLLARS!!! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!

Two dollars..I want my two dollars!!

Wait a minute Mr. Bear. This is death. I bet we get her back.

Wait a minute, I think I’m on to something here. Do you realize what this is, this is pure snow, and it’s everywhere.

Well honk my hooters!

What a shame … throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that…

What a shame… throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that…

what in the name of all that is holy?

What’s a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this?

Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of thier lives.

Who would like to hold my clipboard? You’d make a fine little helper, what’s your name? Charles De Mar. Not you ya freak!

You know, I’ve never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet
someone
new, I feel awkward and shy. But with you it’s different. I can talk
to you.
You know what I’m thinking without my having to explain it to you in
fancy
terms. We speak each others unspoken language . . . fluently. I love
you.
How would you like to have a . . . experience so intense it could
conceivably

You make a gnarly run like that and girls will get sterile just looking at you.

You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hijacked a school bus full of penguins. So you see, itâ€™s kind of a family crisisâ€¦so come back later

You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see itâ€™s kind of a family crisis soâ€¦come back later? Great.

You would do well to do as mother says, Lane Meyer.

You’ll make a fine little helper, what’s your name?… Charles DeMar….shut up, geek.

[Mom]: Hello Lane, how was your day? [Lane]: Beth broke up with me. [Mom]: Oh, that’s nice.

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Better Off Dead…’: Quotes from the movie ‘Better Off Dead…’