Ah… well, you go out there and you give a 110%, and you wanna play good, and… you know… you hope you play good … I think we played pretty good tonight!
(not in actual film) Devil: (dressed in red bikini w/ a boa around her neck) Do I look like someone who’d try to trick you?
–You’re a nutcake.
–They said the same of Jesus, Galileo,…
–They said the same of a lot of nutcakes, too.
…And besindes: do I really look like someone who’s trying to trick you?
1) ‘I, Elliot Richards, hereafter known as the Damned’ — the Damned?!
2) How about ‘the Darned,’ sound better?
1) Allison! Why don’t you wanna stay here with me!? 2) You wanna know why Elliot!? It’s because you’re TOO SENSATIVE! I’m about to go outta my mind. I like spending time with you and God knows I love you but enough is enough. All I want is a guy who will take advantage of me and who just pretends to be interested in who I am and what I think so he can get into my pants… 3) That would be me. 2) oh, THANK YOU!
1) And Allison! What got into her? 2) I think it was ‘Eduardo’
1) I’m going to stop now. 2) Oh, good. I mean, why?
1) I, Elliot Richards, who will be here by known as the damned… the damned?!
2) How about darned? Sound better?
1) My soul?! You want me to give you my SOUL?
2) What are you, James Brown?
1) These look just like the cookies my grandma use to make…
2) Try one.
1) Okay… *takes a bite* That’s because these are the cookies my grandma use to make!
2) I aim to please.
1)He plays the game like he’s eleven feet tall.
2)No,I don’t think he’s that big,Jerry.
1)No,he plays the game like that of a viking giant with a
basketball in one hand and club in the other.
1)I caught site of that sunset and I had to stop and weep *crying* there I go again 2) tissue? 1) No I don’t wipe my tears away I’m not ashamed of them I wear them proudly like small wet salty badges of emotional truth
1)Well well well isn’t this a big suprise? I thought everyone was busy? 2)UHHH slight change of plans Elliot 1)Is that right? Well I’m a little pee peed you guys might not even sit down with you guys 3)Well we can certainly understand that so we’ll see you tomorrow. 1)I’m kidding 4)do you wanna switch seats with me? 2)No I’m fine.
1)Who was that girl you were speaking to? 2) Oh, just someone I know from work. I’m not with her. 1) But you’d like to be.
1)You cant give sick people tic tacs! 2)Sick people have notoriously bad breath I’m performing a public service here now about your next wish 1)Alright ok I wanna be smart no I wanna be really smart and I wanna be able to talk good…well…what’s the word 2)Articulate? 1) yeah I want to be articulate and witty and sophisticated you know I wanna know everything about everything and I want to be good looking no no make that great looking and I want Allison to fall absolutely head over heels in love with me 2) Anything else? 1) like what? 2) like winky wise 1) Oh…right…yeah…I wanna be…I wanna be big but not like practical joke big but you know like *makes fist* is that clear? 2) crystal now you say I wish and I’ll fill in the rest
1.) Who are you? 2.) You promise not to tell. 1.) yes 2.) Cross your heart and hope to die. 2.) Yeah 1.) I’m the devil!
Elliot: ‘I, Elliot Richards, here-after known as the Damned’.. the Damned?
The Devil: How about the Darned, sound better?
Elliot: (in Spanish) Oh, shit, I’m a Colombian drug lord.
Elliot: I think I’ll call you a cab.. Although I think it’ll be hard to find one that goes to HELL this time of night!
Elliot: I wish to be the world’s most sensitive man. No, wait – the world’s most emotionally sensitive man.
The Devil: Damn. Coulda had a lot of fun with that one.
Elliot: I’m gay. Well, thanks for dropping by.
Elliot: I’m starting to think women don’t know what they want.
The Devil: Amen!
Elliot: Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimming by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You’re so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea, (makes dolphin noises).
Elliot: Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimming by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You’re so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea, (making dolphin noises).
Elliot: My soul? You want me to give you my soul?
The Devil: What are you, James Brown?
Elliot: You are so bad!
The Devil: I know. I’ve been really naughty, haven’t I? Perhaps a good spanking’s in order?
Elliot: Is that all you ever think about? Is that all life is to you, sex, sex, sex?
The Devil: Of course not! There’s greed, gluttony, sloth, vanity, anger, envy…
The Devil: Do you have $3.47? I left my purse in the Underworld.
The Devil: Fair? Who do you think you’re talking to? I don’t recall anybody accusing me of being fair before. I’m insulted.
The Devil: I am the Devil! Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness! Well, the Princ-ess, anyway…
The Devil: It’s not easy being the Barbara Streisand of Evil.
The Devil: My life is a living hell!
The Devil: Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a not-for-profit organization, with offices in Purgatory, Hell, and Los Angles, will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit.
The Devil: You know, you’d think that meeting the Devil would be interesting enough but no. All people want to know about is Him. Like He’s so bloody fascinating!
Elliot: So He’s a man?
The Devil: Yeah, most men think they’re God, this one just happens to be right.
The Devil: You’re so nervous, Elliot.
Elliot: How do you know my name?
The Devil: I’m psychic. Plus it’s on your name tag.
The Devil: Your soul is like you appendix. You never use it.
Elliot: Oh yeah? If it’s so useless, how come you want it so bad?
The Devil: Oh, aren’t you a clever one.
A Frobisher and Gleacon rasberry flavored ice lolli.
Alison!! I’ll get into your pants!!
All men think they’re god. This one just happens to be right.
All we need to do now, then, is get it witnessed. Sloth would be best. He’s a lawyer.
And I’m Tony Danza!
aye! es cocaina!
blah…blah…blah…blah…blah…you’ve got it smarty
pants.
Damn the Devil to Hell!
Damn the Devil! Damn the Devil to Hell!
Damn the devil, damn the devil to hell.
Dear Miss Spencer, This is just to say cheerio. Yours sincerely, Stanley Moon. P.S. : I leave you my collection of moths.
Dear Miss Spencer, This is just to say cheerio. Yours Sincerely, Stanley Moon. P.S.: I leave you my collection of moths.
Devil-> Are you not attracted to me?
Elliot-> No..uh.. i think you’re hot!
Devil-> Baby you have no idea
Devil-> Do you have 3.47?…I left my purse in the underworld.
Devil-im not all peaches and cream, you know. I do have a dark side, and its not pretty!
Devil: Yah yah oui oui see see. It’s all a bunch of nonsense. Everyone speaks english anyhow, and if they don’t they ought too!
devil:dont you find me attractive elliot
elliot:no,no i think you are hot
devil:you dont even know what you are talking about
Do you have $3.47? I left my purse in the Underworld.
Don’t get too excited, its just a halloween costume.
Elliot Richards: No! thats not fair
The Devil: Fair who do you think your talking to i dont recall anyone accusing me of being fair before i’m insulted.
Elliot Richards: You are so bad!
The Devil: I know. I’ve been really naughty, haven’t I? Perhaps a good spanking’s in order?
Elliot Richards: Is that all you ever think about? Is that all life is to you, sex, sex, sex?
The Devil: Of course not! There’s greed, gluttony, sloth, vanity, anger, envy…
Elliot: I Elliot Richards here-by known as the damned- The Damned?!
Devil: How about the daamned, sound better?
ELLIOT: I wish to be the world’s most sensitive man. No, wait — the world’s most emotionally sensitive man.
THE DEVIL: Damn. Coulda had a lot of fun with that one.
Elliot: if I wanted a Big Mac, I could just pay for one
ELLIOT:(has been turned into the world’s most sensitive man)Hello, my love. I went to find some seashells to place atop your glorious head like a crown.
F U C K
fU CK
Go ahead, wish for sumthing.
He was Phi Slamma Jamma runnin’ stank all over it with rib-ticklin’ jumps of double vanilla funk!
Here Eliot Richards flyin through the air like the man on the flyin trapezious.
Rubin stank all over it. Double chuncks of rib ticklin vanilla funk.
Here, my ice lollies melted. You must be the devil!.
HOLA! MUCHO GUSTO! Me llamo Elliot! Hola Juan. Hola Esteban. Donde esta es la bibleoteca? Esta es de casa de mi tia.
Hot toast – or buttered buns?
I bet you’re a whiz with the ladies.
I have to stop… because I am looking at you and I see all the beauty of the world looking back at me. May I sketch you?
I just want to be with a man who’ll ignore me and take me for granted and only pretends to be interested in what I say and who I am so he can get into my pants
I left my purse in the underworld.
i think a spankings in order
i think a spankins in order
I think somebody’s had tee many martoonis…
I will make the world so noisy and disgusting that even you will be ashamed of yourself.
I’m Nicole. But don’t call me Nickie, cuz that just leads to Nick, then Ni, then N, people just call me N!
I’m not a hooker, silly boy, I just want to ask you a question.
I’m not a hooker, you silly boy, I just want to ask you a question!!!!!
I’m telling you, the devil gypped me for HAMBURGER!!
I’m the Horned One. The Devil. Let me give you my card.
If you give yourself a 110 procent and you wanna play good and you will play good, well I think we played pretty good tonight!
It’s not easy being the Barbra Streisand of Evil.
It’s the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers…
La siento soy allergia a los mariscos
(I’m sorry I’m allergic to shellfish)
Look’s like someone’s had tee many martoonis.
LOVE ME!!
Maybe I should call you a cab. Although it might be hard to find one that’ll GO TO HELL this time of night!
Maybe I should call you a cab. Although, it’s gonna be hard to find one that will go to hell this time of night!
Ni lo pienses…RAOUL!!!!
Now for the magic words….Julie Andrews!
Now, then, what’d you like to be first? Prime Minister? Oh, no, I’ve made that deal already.
Oh mierda! Soy un narco-trafikante Colombiano! (translation: I’m a Colombian drug lord!)
Oh really! Than Im Tony Danza
People say bassetball caught fire with the asendry of Michael Jordan. If Eliot Richards keeps playin like dis people are gonna be sayin Michael who.
Perdoname, no hablo espanol. Un momento! Estoy hablando espanol! Que diablos!(In english: Sorry, i don’t speak spanish. Wait a minute! i’m speaking spanish! What the Devil!
que dices? yo no hablo espanol. espera estoy hablando espanol
que es esto azucar?
Seis! Seis! Seis!
That’s Lillian Lust, the babe with the bust.
The devil ripped me off for a hamburger!!
The Devil: I am the Devil! Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, the Prince of Darness! Well, the Princ-ess, anyway…
The devil: You know you’d think that metting the Devil would be interestig enough but no all the people want to know about him like he’s so bloody facinating
The Devil: Your soul is like you appendix. You never use it.
Elliot Richards: Oh yeah? If it’s so useless, how come you want it so bad?
The Devil: Oh, aren’t you a clever one?
The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.
The sound of her voice is like….a thousand violins playing!
There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas… I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I’ve come up with recently is advertising.
they couldn’t give a fig for all taht rubbish.
This is the club room. Quite nicely decorated and painted – early Hitler.
Well, I suppose Lust and Gluttony really have to be rather near the bathroom.
well, you go out there and you give a 110%…
What are you, James Brown?
What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it’s the wages.
WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!OOOOHHH damn the devil!! damn the devil to hell!!!!!god damn it!where is that little red thing!555,AAAARGH!!777,AAAARGH!! oh here it is, (reads it upside down)999,AAAARGH!! oohhh duurrrr!!!!666 WOW(he goes straight to the devil)
when is that darn thing gonna set?!?!
Xn + Yn = Zn
when n>2.
Show your work.
Yeah I just want a man who pretends to care and love me. As long as he gets inside my pants!
Yes, We’re alone in the universe
Yes, Life is meaningless Death is Inevitable
But is that neccessarily so depressing
Yes, We’re alone in the universe
Yes, Life is meaningless Death is Inevitable
But is that neccessary so depressing
You fill me with inertia.
You realize that suicide’s a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they’d have hung you for it.
You see, a soul’s rather like your appendix: totally expendable.
You’re not wearing nylon underwear, are you? It disintegrates at high speeds
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Bedazzled’: Quotes from the movie ‘Bedazzled’
