#1 forgive me father,i sleep with this woman. #2,really?was she naked? #1 yes #2cool
#1. Where’s the unit?
#2. Uh, my unit? In my pants.
1) Get the hell outa the cockpit !!!!!! 2)..you said cock !
1)Get out of the cockpit! 2)huh huh huh you said… 1)NOW!
1: One of you got a match? 2: Yea, my butt and your, uhhh, butt. Huh huh huh.
Bork! You’re a federal agent. You represent the United States government. Never end a sentence with a preposition!
Agent Fleming: Ehh, these people know something. I want full cavity searches…everyone! Go DEEP on em!
Agent Hurley, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search! I’m talking Roto-Rooter! Don’t stop until you reach the back of his teeth!
Ain’t Nobody.
America owes you a debt of gratitude — From this day forward I am making you both honorary members of the Firearms, Drugs, and Alcohol Organization.
—Yes!!!—
Are there a lot of sluts in Las Vegas?
Are you threatening me?
ATF guy: where’s the unit?
Butthead: uh..MY unit?? In my pants
ATF guy: Wheres the unit?! Butthead: My unit? In my pants…
Attention!!! We are looking for the lady with the big boobs! We are ready to do you now!!
Beavis: Doesn’t Tom Anderson live on this street? Cause I just gotta stop by his tool shed for a few minutes. Know what I’m sayin?
Butt-head: Tool, huh huh huh.
beavis:were in washington old lady:no this is the hoover dam beavis:damn!!!
Bevis… this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
Butt head: Uh, Where’s the TV? Tour lady: There are no TVs in dining rooms.
Butt-head: This sucks. All they have is these shows about water.
Beavis: Yeah, they need some shows about fire.
butthead: he said extend
butthead: i gotta berr
Butthead: You want us to do a guy? No way! Beavis: I dunno, Butthead, that is a lot of money. Maybe if we close our eyes and pretend he’s a chick–
Butthead:Beavis.. and uh uh.. Boob! Huh uh! Check this out. This guy’s name is Boob
Beavis:Dumbass, that says Beavis and Butthead.
Butthead: hey those guys have the same name as us!
Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Dallas: That cheap-ass! Alright I’ve got a better deal for you – I’ll double it. I’ll pay you 20 if you go back and do him.
Butt-head: You want us to do a guy? No way!
Beavis: I don’t know, Butt-head. Thats a lot of money! Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend he’s a chick.
Dammit! This always happens! I think I’m gonna score, and then I never score! It’s not fair! We traveled um, a mil- a hundred miles, just because we thought we were gonna score! But now it’s not gonna happen! Dammit!
Did I just score?
FBI: Let us see the unit! BEAVIS: Why is everyone interested in my schlong?
Flight Attendent:Hi were serving dinner now our choices tonight are chicken picatta and seafood gumbo.
Butthead:I am cornholio i need picatta for my bunghole
F/A:You’ll have to wait your turn,sir.
BH:Are you threating me,my bunghole will not wait.Bung bung bungity.
Gone Shootin’.
Here’s a song that might help you cope with some of those feelings.
It’s called Lesbian Seagull. She flies so gracefully over rocks, trees and sand soaring over cliffs and gently floating down to land
she proudly lifts her voice to sound the mating call and soon hermate responds by singing caw, caw, caw…come with me lesbian seagull
settle down and rest with me, fly high lesbian seagull …
Hey baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces too
hey beavis, this guys gonna pay us to do his wife huh huh huh
Hippie teacher: I assume you’re a government agent. You must know there’s something in this country called due process.
Fleming: That’s what I’d expect from the guy who taught these two. Take him away.
Hippie teacher: Uh, I believe I’m supposed to be read my Miranda rights.
Hippie teacher: You know this could be a real positive experience for you guys. There’s a whole world of possibilities to discover when we realize we don’t need TV to entertain us.
Butt-head: Huh huh, he said anus.
Beavis: Entertain-us, anus.
Hippie teacher: Did you guys hear a word I said?
Butt-head: Yeah, anus’.
huh huh huh this is the best day of my life
Huh.. Huh.. Is this a God Dam?
I am the great Cornholio! I need teepee for my bunghole!!
I gotta stop by his shed for a few minutes. (laughing) Uh hu ha hu you know boooooiiiiinnnnggggggg!
I just have a question. Is this a God dam?
I love you. Come to Butthead.
I NEED SOME PEE PEE FOR MY BUNG HOLE! AHH PEE PEE FOR MY BUNG HOLE….ARE YOU THREATENING ME!? I AM CORNHOLEO ! I NEED PEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE!
I need some tp for my bung hole
I see you have braces I have braces too.
I’ll be a blue-nosed gopher.
If l find anything broken in there, you and I are gonna tangle.
Is this a God Dam?
its like its coming out of the ass, of the ass.
Man with gun: Do you have any last words? Butthead: I have a few words, butt-cheeks. Beavis: Ya, and boobs, let me say that again, boobs.
Masturbating in a man’s camper. We`re dealing with two sick individuals.
My last names Head. My first names Butt.
OLD LADY: I’m mostly gonna be doin’ the slots.
BEAVIS: Yeah, I’m gonna do some sluts, too.
Old Woman: I have to take these pills for my heart problems. Beavis: Oh really, I poop too much. Old lady: Maybe you’re lactose intolerant. Beavis: No, I POOP TOO MUCH! Then I get tired.
PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP, BOY! I DON’T WANNA SEE THAT! DAMMIT! GET OUTTA HERE! AND IF I EVER CATCH YOU WHACKIN’ IN HERE AGAIN, I’M GONNA HOG-TIE YA!
Recording: Welcome to the petrifiied forest, the world’s largest site of petrifiied wood.
Butthead: Wood.
Recording: You may wonder,how can wood get so hard? The wood became hard over two million years ago.
Say, aren’t you them boys who’ve been whacking off in my toolshed?
Snakes.
The Lord is a Monkey.
The sun sucks
The sun sucks.
There are no TVs in dining rooms
This is the coolest day of our lives.
This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
this sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before
Two cool guys.
Walk on water.
We’re not to Washington yet, son. This is the Hoover Dam.
Well I’ll be monkey’s bare-assed uncle!!!!
wheres the unit uhhh the unit in my pants
why does everyone wanna see my unit?
Why does everyone want to see my slong.
You may wonder: How does wood become so hard?
you’re butt sucks.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Beavis and Butt-head Do America’: Quotes from the movie ‘Beavis and Butt-head Do America’
