#1 What do all men want? #2 He wants you to dress up as Wonder Woman and tie him up with the golden lariet and force him to tell the truth? #1 No, just dinner Philip.
#1 Hey you’re big and fat! #2 Yeah, you’re short and ugly. Here’s a pencil.
#1 That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing–isn’t that a lovely dress Thornton? #2 Yeah, all it needs is pockets and you’d look like a pool table.
#1-Is that your real hair? #2- What do you think? #1- I think you’re trying to get back at your parents, that’s what I think.
#1:I have got a really bad cramp!
#2:Probably menstrual.
–How would you characterize ‘The Great Gatsby’?
–He was…uh…great!
…what’s with the midget!!!!!
1) You’re gonna wind up just like your old man. 2) God, I hope so. Because I happen to love the guy.
1)maybe it’s menstral. 2)screw you melon
1. ….we were just looking for some, uh, cocktail napkins. 2. Yeah where, under her dress? 3. You’re impossible 2. Well, you’re easy
1. …your wife was just showing us her Klimt 2. You too huh? 1. She’s very proud of it 2. I’m proud of mine too but I don’t go waving it around at parties
1. She is the teacher 2. I know I like teachers, you do something wrong they make you do it over again
1.Look at this place, this is worse than the track! 2. You want me to push some people for you? 1. No, this is college, let me think for a minute
1: Whoever wrote that paper doesn’t know a thing about Kurt Vonnegut. (Cut scene to #2)
2: (On phone) And another thing, Vonnegut, I’m stop paying the check. (pause) Fuck me? Hey Kurt, do you read lips? Fuck You!
Back To School.
Bring a pitcher of beer every 7 minutes until somebody passes out, and then bring one every 10 minutes.
Call me when you have no class!
Dead Man’s Party.
Derek, get up you look like the poster board for birth control!!!
Dude, there’s Valerie Dessmond….look how tight her ass is in that skirt!
Fuck me?! Het Vonnegut, FUCK YOU!
Girl in hot tub filling Rodneys glass with champaign: Say when. Right after this drink!
Girls this is Lou, Lou these are girls
Good teacher, really seems to care… About what I have no idea!!!
Great speech, great speech. There’s nothing like good clean business…and a little monkey business
He really cares. About what I have no idea.
How about you, honey? Boy, I’d like to Tame your Shrew!
I got two kids. One I put through college. The other, I put through
a wall.
I just left Vanessa, I feel like I just got parolled
i was surrounded buy gooks and up to my knees in rice patties
If I don’t take the test they’ll kick me out of school. If I do take the test, who knows where they’ll kick me!
If that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table.
In High school,our whole defense was rough,after they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family.
It feels like i just got married yesterday, and you know what a bad day yesterday was.
Listen Sherlock….The only reason guys like you have a place to teach is because guys like me donate buildings
Maybe you could help me straighten out my Longfellow.
Most people look at history as a bunch of dates, stuff about the past, but not me I hold history sacred…the way a farmer looks at the earth and he holds it sacred…the way a Christian hold the bible sacred…the way some people hold their marriage sacred
My ex-wife was an earth sign, and I was a water sign. Together we made mud.
Oh, Oort, Oort. Oort was this scientist, and he figured out that the smeared-out density of matter can be no greater…than the solar mass per cubic parsec.
You look thrilled. It’s not my theory
SAY IT!!!!!!!! SAY ITTTTTT, JUST SAY IT!! AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Shakespeare for everyone!
Small food. . .I hate small food.
So maybe we can do dinner sometime. We can discuss Joyce. She is my favorite.
So, what is your major? Poetry. Oh, maybe you can help be straighten out my Longfellow.
So, what is your major? Poetry. Oh, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.
So, what is your major? Poetry. Oh, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.
Take it easy take it easy! And try not to get any on the walls
Tape recorders??? The Japs will kill us on labor costs!!!
Thats right Dean Martin!!!!!
The Great Gatsby – he was uh GREAT.
This one I can’t figure out. There’s you, there’s Giorgio; What’s with the midget?
Twist And Shout.
Until someone passes out, then bring one every ten minutes.
We believe that a violent ground acquisition game such as football is in fact a crypto-facist metaphor for nuclear war
We call them Melon Patch Kids. Now the competition exploits the notion that their dolls are orphans. The Melon Patch Kids are not orphans, they’re abandoned! We think its a winner
Well I got the Sanskrit, and I got the Latin and then they closed ancient Greek which threw my whole dead languages motif
What’s a hot tub without bubbles? Hey Bubbles come here.
Why didn’t we cross the 38th parallel and push those rice eaters back to the great bowl of China…how come tell me why SAY IT! SAY IT!
Widget, whats a Widget???
With the kind of shape I’m in you could donate my body to science fiction
You know what you never see? Someone heckling a diver.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Back to School’: Quotes from the movie ‘Back to School’
