I name this here fork Pittsburg Nelly. After the Welsh whore, who could do things with her one good arm, that would make you forget that thing on her neck.
-Chris Farley, Almost Heroes
#1 Good God, man, I’m not talking about getting blind skinking drunk, just a taste. #2 Well then, a taste it shall be!
1. is there a barber in town 2. im a barber sir 1. all right ill have a cut and a shave 2. by the way you smell like something that has passed through the system of a sick old woman 1. well. than. ill have a bath as well 2. good idea
1.Sir may i have permission to check on my womens bandages sir? 2.You know ur women is made out of straw dont you? 1. Yeah thats why i figure she burns so easily!
alright for the other idiot, its puppy not poppy or papi, get it right losers
And this is a lower case b…..Hunt: ALRIGHT, ENOUGH FOR TODAY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE?
awww, i think hes sleeping
I think hes dead
can anyone guess why im going to cut off her hair….because ya want to entertain us?? NO! Because she told you to. NO! oh oh, because her hair’s more beautiful than yours and your jealous!?!….NO!
Come on! Where are ya? Coming to protect your little birdies?
Could’ve just brought back the shell, but nobody bothered to tell me that.
DO YOU WANT MY HEAD TO EXPLODE!?!?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THATS GOOD AND DECENT NO MORE FOR TONIGHT
Edwards: Higgins when i said your music would be a welcome companion on the trip i meant….
Hunt: DONT U KNOW ANY OTHER GODDAMN TUNES!!
Higgins: No Sir!
Pratt: Sure you do play them that haunting air you played me this morning!
Geronimus Pratt: I have a saying….White Water in the Morning….(and)….that’s it
GET IN THE BOAT!
GET IT?! SHIT PUDDING!!!!
Hidalgo- The reason i am cutting her hair off is because she is thinking why should i even bother to have hair, when he has hair like that? does that make sense?
men- nah, no not really
Higgins, when i said your music would be a welcome companion on the trip, what i meant was..CANT YOU PLAY ANY OTHER GODDAMN TUNES!!!
HOLD YOUR FIRE MEN.. HOLD YOUR FIRE….ITS JUST A SQUIRELL!!! .(PAUSE)>> but he’S GOT SOMETHING IN HIS HANDS!!!!! (everyone starts shooting again)
Hunt- what I remember most were the animals.
edwards- ahh, the animals.
Hunt- Fearsome beasts of the mountains and plains. I’ve seen a bear so powerful the it snapped a man’s body in half with it’s huge jaws. I’ve seen badgers with paws as big as frying pans, now they’ll just rip your face right off. THEY’LL JUST RIP IT OFF, NOTIHNG TO DO WITH IT THEY’LL,JUST RIP IT OFF. Once there was a hawk that swooped down from the sky CAAW CAAW CAAW, and plucked a man’s eyeballs out of his sockets. the fellow was scraeming, I’M BLIND I CANT SEE AHHHHHH!. Twice when I was fishing…….
Edwards- Hunt, Hunt, Hunt. I think you are scaring the men.
Hunt- I think it’s best they know. It gives a man courage to know what he’s up against.
I could have been back a lot earlier, but someone didn’t bother mentioning all she needed was the shell.
I have practiced dentistry on the animals I’ve preserved.
I HOPE SATAN HIMSELF BURNS THE FLESH FROM YOUR MISERABLE BONES!!!……….hunt) GOOD GOD LADY!!
I name this here fork, Pittsburg Nelly… A Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm, that would make you forget that thing on her NECK!
I was just collecting bark for President Grant, some bark, I was collecting it.
I was just collection bark for President Grant, some bark, I was collecting it.
I’m gonna give you till the count of ten, before I put another hole, in your HAIRY, FRENCH, ASS!!!
I’m surprised you’re hung over at all, considering the amount you regurgitated into the harpsichord.
It was me. I ate the sheep shit.
its fucking poppy
Maybe now you’ll agree, drinking has its benifits.
Maybe now you’ll agree, drinking has its benifits.
no it really is puppy, trust me.
No, but I have seen the forks.
ok for the idiot up a couple of lines, the say puppy, as in a dog not poppy.
okay, for the other idiot up some lines…yea, it’s not poppy…but it’s not puppy either…they freakin’ said PAPI…get it right next time!
omg i love indian woman
On a glummy sunday morning near the lake, my brother and i were
enjoying some delecious plum pudding my aunt had made. well my brotherhad gone down to the lake, i took a poop in his plum pudding,
and when he came back he ate it all, every last drop. tell him the
funyy part. as i stand before you this very day i sware to you i have no brother, it was me who at the plum pudding, i ATE SHIT PUDDING
pitsburg nellie, a welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that would make you forget about that thing on her neck!
President Jefferson i emplore you. If we do not give bears the right to vote they wil RISE UP! Then they shall be in congress, and we will be the ones performing in carnivals wearing LITTLE HATS!
put the thing down and pull my tooth
Put the thing down and pull my tooth! God Almighty!
Say poppy. You cannot help but smile when you say poppy. Say poppy.
so for the idiot who tried to say the other person was an idiot by saying its puppy? ur an idiot
Somebody could have told me that all they needed was the shell
The bear is worse
The food alone is worth the trip
The next person to leave for New Orleans will do so with a LEAD BALL IN HIS BACK!!!!
this is the capital A. 2)ah the capital A 1) and this is the lowercase a 2)the lowercase a ooo 1) and this is the capital 2) ok thats enough do u want my head to expload thats enough for today
This particular event happened last summer on my uncleâ€™s farm in Virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay and were enjoying the evening meal under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creek and while he was gone, I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it not one, but two large pieces of sheep shit! When he returned, I encouraged him to taste the plum pudding. And as sure as I am standing before you today, he did, he ate it all! Shit pudding! He ate shit pudding!
(Tell him the ending, thatâ€™s the best part!)
Oh, oh, yes. â€¦.And to be completely honest sir, I have no brother! It was me! I ate sheep shit! I swear! I did!
(the last guy mauled this story/quote and I had to fix it)
This particular event took place last summer on my uncles farm in virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay, and were enjoying the evening meal under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creak and while he was gone I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it, not one, but two large pieces of sheep shit. When he returned I encouraged him to taste the plum pudding, and as sure as im standing before you today he did, he ate it all, shit pudding. He ate shit pudding.
Tell him the ending, thats the best part.
And to be completely honest sir, i have no brother. It was me, i ate sheep shit.
Walk to Asia. I like it.
When I am dead and have passed onto the next world. I want you to lower me from these gallows and… KISS MY HAIRY BUTTOCKS!
when i said your music would be…DONT YOU KNOW ANYOTHER GOD DAMN TUNE HUH!?!?! no sir…oh sure ya do play em that haunting aire ya played for me this morning…
White waters in the morning.
white waters in the morrning… Thats it.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Almost Heroes’: Quotes from the movie ‘Almost Heroes’