Movie Quotes from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective : Quotes from the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
# Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone!
# Is it number one or number two?….. I just want to know how much time I have…..
(1)…when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
(2)Is it number 1 or number 2?
(1)You have any more of that gum?
(2)That’s none of your damn business, and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
(1)Heinskits Velvet..I am trainer of dolphins..you want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. (2)What happened to the regular trainer? (1) What happened to him?..WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!! 7 years I have been de trainer..We are making the dolphins disappear and then Roy is coming with the White Tiger and the stuffing of the pants and you let them go. (2) Where is snowflake..? (1)Why do you care about snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? DO YOU HAVE A DORSAL FIN?!.. To TRAIN the dolphin you must THINK like the dolphin, you must be getting inside the dolphins head and communicating..I am saying to Snowflake ‘A-dah..a-dah a-dah!’ and he is saying ‘a-dah a-dah!’..When he is UP on the tail ‘eeeeeeh! eeeeh! eeeeeeh!’ AND YOU CAN QUOTE HIM! (spit)
I’m ready to go in, Coach. Just
give me a chance. I know there’s a
lot riding on it, but it’s all
psychological. I’m gonna execute a button-hook
pattern! Super slo-mo!
(EINHORN) Spare me the routine, Ventura. I
know you’re working the Snowflake
case. May I suggest you yield to
the experts on this one? We’ll
find the porpoise.
Whewwwâ€¦ now I feel better!
Never mind the wise cracks
Venturaaa. You owe me rent!
(Mrs. Finkle) his room is just the way he left it, when he comes home it will be like he never left. (Ace)(see’s finkle’s room covered with DIE DAN DIE!!)CREEPY!!! (Mrs. Finkle) What a sports Nut HUH?
(tweeeet!) half time!
* Did you have any trouble getting in?
* No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle
1) …Have you ever heard of F.A.N ? 2) Free Animals Now ? Started in 1982 by Chelsea Gamble , daughet of the famous industrialist Fisher Gamble , over half a million members from Florida to Finland ..NO who are they?!?
1) Ace , what;s going on ? …Ace ? ..ACE! 2)Thought I left didn’t you ? OkI’m really gonnago this time
1) Did you have any trouble getting in ? 2) No the..guy with the rubber glove was suprisingly gentle
1) Do I look familiar to you, Dan?
Does it seem as if we’ve met
I don’t knowâ€¦ I get hit in the
head a lot.
1) Emilio, get me the autopsy on
Podacter! Aguado, send out a
memo. No one talks to the
pressâ€¦…and would somebody please get me some coffee! 2) Tonight on ‘MIAMI VICE’, Crockett
geets the boss coffee! 3) Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, YOU BETTER BE GONE!
1) Excuse me …I’d like to ASS you a few questions . 2) This isnot the time Ace . If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talkiong to you , or your ass , I’m history .
1) Excuse me Ron , i need to use that bathroom . * i think it’s the Patte` 2) Sureit’s right over there 1) Thanks , stuff probably looks beter on the way out ,huh ?
1) For instance if you were to look up ‘Professional Football’s All Time Bone Head Plays’ , you might read about a former Miami Dolphin Kicker named Ray Finkle , who missed a 20 yard feild goal in the closing seconds of superbowl 17 …*deep breath* What you WOULDN’T read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind , was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino who he blames for the the whole thing….2) What the hell are you talking about ? 1) She’s not Lois Einhorn ! She’s Ray Finkle . She’s man .
1) HDS , and how are you this afternoon ? ALrighty then . I have a package for you 2) Sounds broken 1)Most likely I bet it was soemthing nice though . Now this is an insurance form , if you’ll just sign here , here ,print your name here and initials here , we’ll get the rest of the forms out to you as soon as we can
1) How can I ever repay you ? 2) Well reward would be nice , there is some damage to my car . It’s a high performance machine so I had to fill it with premium . 1) Would you like for me to take your pants off instead ? 2) Um Gee…let me think..ah Sure.
1) How would you like for me to make your life a living hell ? 2) Well I’m ..not really ready for a relationship Lois ,but thankyou for asking . Hey maybe I’ll give you a call sometime ..Your number still 911 ? Alrighty then .
1) I don’t bring my work home with me Sir . 2) Oh yeah ? Then what’s all this pet food for ? 1) …fibre
1) I just want to know one thing, Roger; How
the hell do you lose a 500 pound
2) Oh, I was just going to say, sir…it’s not a fish…it’s a
1) I’m so sorry Mr Ace , we’ll have the plumbing checked immediately . 2) Be sure that you do , if I had been drinking out of that toilet : I might have been killed
1) So animals CAN sense evil 2) Who let Dr. Dolittle in? 3) Lieutenant he came with Miss Robinson 2) This is official police business, we’ll let you know if we find a tick.
1) That’s a lovely dog you have. Do
you mind if I pet him, sir?
2) I don’t give a rat’s ass.
1) Uh oh (steps on bug) Homocide, Ventura . Now how you gonna solve that one ? 2) Good question Elquado . First I’d establish a motive . In this case the killer saw the size of the bugs dick and became insanely jealous . Then I’d lose 40lb . PORK and his wife !
1) Well, that’s a very entertaining
story, unfortunately real detectives have to
worry about that little thing called evidence.
2) Oh-oh, I heard a toilet flush, maybe someone lost their turtle
1) What do you know about ray Finkle ? 2) *deep breath* Soccer style kicker , graduated from Collier high , June 1976 , Dux of University , honours graduate 1980 . Holds two NCAA division one records , one for most points in a season the other for distance . Former Nick-name : The Mule . The only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American …
1) What happened to the regular trainer? 2) What happened to him? What happened to me? Seven years I’m the Ziegfried then Roy is coming in with the white tiger and their stuffing in the pants and then I’m gone.
1) What’s the password ? 2) New England Clam Chowder 1) Is that the red or the white ? 2) Oh..I can never remember that ..White ?
1) When I get out of that bathroom , You’d beter be gone ! 2) Is it number one or number two ?……I just wanna know how much time i have
1) Who let Dr. Doolittle in?
2) Ah, Lieutenant. He came with Miss
This is official police business.
We’ll let you know if the coroner
finds a tick.
1) Who the hell is that? 2) What? 3) That! Who the hell is that?! 4)Oh, that’s Ray Finkleâ€¦ the
kicker. Don’t you know who Ray
5) Nooooo! How come he’s not in this
6) This was taken earlier in
the year. Finkle wasn’t added to
the roster till mid-season.
He’s the guy that missed the final
field goal in the Super Bowl that
year. Cost the Dolphins the game.
7) But he got himself a ring? 8) Definitely
1) you knw that was pretty impressive what you did back at the appartment . 2) You don’t have to tell me that….I was there
1) You really love animals don’t you ? 2) If it gets cold enough
1)ace? ace? ace? 2) thought i left, didnt ya? ok i’m really gunna go this time.
1)Do you have any more gum? 2) That’s none of your goddamn business, and i would like it if you kept out of my personal affairs.
1)Ventura! 2)Yes, Satan? Oh I’m sorry, sir, I thought you were someone else!
1)Venturaaaaa. 2)Yes Satan?.. Oh sorry I thought you were someone else!
1. Hello I’m looking for Ray Finkle. 2. (sticks a gun in his face) 1. And a clean pair of shorts.
1. Oh my god! three times? 2. I’m sorry that’s never happened to me before, I must be tired….ooooook I’m ready again.
2)and how are you this afternoon alrighty then. I have a package for you. 2)sounds broken. 1)Most likely sir, I’ll bet it was something nice though.
ACE) Wowâ€¦ Ray Finkle’s house! Can’t
wait to meet him!
Mr. Finkle) Ray ain’t comin’ home.
But your wife said you expect him
home any minute.
She expects him home any minute.
Engines runnin but there’s no one
behind the wheel
Ace, do you have anymore of that gum. Thats really none of your damn business Dan and I would appreciate it if you would stay out of my personal affairs.
ACE: Any unusual bets being made?
EMILIO: ‘Course there’s bets being made! It’s the Super Bowl!
ACE: Don’t kill me-e-e-e!…Please! I’ll never tell anybody, I swear! He’s the one you want! Kill HIM!
DAN MARINO: No, kill HIM! (They start arguing. EINHORN fires a shot into the air)
EINHORN: SHUT UP! I think I’ll kill the dolphin first!
ACE: The 1984 Dolphin AFC Championship Ring. I find the ring with the missing stone, I find Snowflake.
MELISSA: How’re you gonna do that?
ACE: Simple. (Snap-PTTTH!)
Ace: Tom Ace, pleasure to meet you, congratulations on all your success, you smell teriffic.
Ace: your gun is digging into my hip.
Ace: Your number still 911? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttty then!
ACE:(in Sean Connery Voice) Lovely party pitty I wasn’t invited
Ace:Ahoy Captain Stubing How Are Gopher And Doc? Permission To Come Aboard Sir.(salutes)argh!!!
Ace:tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss a coffee!
Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you’d BETTER be gone!
Ace: is it number one or number two?…I just want to know how much time I have!
Asshooooolomio…oh sodomia…la…Holy testicle tuesday!
Be careful with that phone Lt. In time, you could develop a tumor.
Be careful with that phone Luitenant . In time you COULD develop a tumor
By God Jim I’m a doctor, not a pool man!
Can I Trouble You For A Mint Or Perhaps Some Binacca???
Captain’s Log: Stargate 28.3, rounded of to the nearest decimal point. We’ve traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annalation. So far, no sign of them. But I’m going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole I’m going to find it. I’ve GOT TO MISTER!
captains log, stargate 26.9 rounded off to the nearest decimal point, we’ve travelled back in time to save an ancient race from total annialation. so far no sign of clues but i’m going to find it, if i have to tear this universe another black hloe im going to find it, I’VE GOT TO MISTER!!!!!
Congratulations on your success. You smell terrific.
Dan Marino should die of gonorhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie sir?
Dan Marino: Hey Ace got anymore gum?
Ace: That is none of your damn Business Dan, and I’d like you to stay out of my personal affairs
Dan: Hey Ace! Got any more of that gum? Ace: That’s none of your damn business. I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal business!
DID U HAVE TROUBLE GETTING IN? NO, THE MAN WITH THE RUBBER GLOVES WAS SUPRISINGLY GENTLE
Die animal boy!!!!
Do not go in there whooooooo
Do NOT go in there! WOOOO!!
Do NOT go in there! WOOOOOOO!
DO NOT go in there! Wooooooo.
DO NOT, GO IN THERE!! WOOO!
Do you know him? Does he call you at home? DO YOU HAVE A DORSAL FIN?To train ze dolphin you must think like ze dolphin. You must be getting inside the dolphin’s head and communicating.
do you know the dolphin do you call him at home do you have a dolsophin.. 7 years i have been tranner of dolphin. makin the dolphin disapearing then letting him go in ur pants. he up on th bal eh eh eh eh eh .. and you can quote him.. patuh!
Do you know za dol-fa-fin? Do you call him at home?
du du du du..captains log, stargate, 28.3 rounded off to the nearest decimal point. We’ve traveled back in time to save an acient species from total anialation. SO FAR there’s no sign of appoint gland, but im going to find it, if i have to tear this universe another black hole, im going to find it. I’ve….GOT TO MR!!! du du du du
dudududu…Captains log starting 23.9 rounded off to the…nearest decimal point, weeee’ve traveled back in time to save an ancient speices from total annihalation…SO FAR there’s no sign of aquatic life anywhere but i’m going to find it…IF I HAVE TO TEAR THIS UNIVERSE ANOTHER BLACK HOLE i’m going to find it, i’ve GOT TO MISTER!! dudududu
EINHORN: What would YOU know about pressure?!
ACE: Well, I HAVE kissed a man! (EINHORN shakes her head, then glances at the TV)
EINHORN: THE LACES WERE IN!! THEY WERE IN!!!
Excuse me, but would you have some binaca?
Excuse me, I’d like to ASS you a few questions.
Finkle’s Mom: Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie?
Fits like a glove.
Gee, Chuck! The date started off good, but just before we got to the party, she started to tense up!
Good question Aguado
Good question, Aguado. First I’d establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug’s DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I’d lose 30 Lbs….PORKIN’ HIS WIFE!!!
Got a package, people!
Got any good callers lately? Or were they leashes?
Got in any good callers lately? Or were they leashes?
H.D.S coming through, got a package people!!
He found Captain Winky!!
Hello Captain Steubing! Permission to come aboard, sir.
hello captain stuben….how are goopher and dock….permission to come aboard sir
Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911?
Hi captin stubbing, hows gopher and doc, permission to come aboard sir
hi i’m looking for ray finkle ( gun points to facea0 and a clean par of shorts
Hi I’m looking for Ray Finkle……….and a clean pair of shorts!
Hi! I’m looking for Ray Finkle (points gun at face) .. and a clean pair of shorts
Hi, I’m Dan Marino. If anyone
knows the value of protection,
it’s meâ€¦……So I protect the hands that
protect me. With Isotoners. (2) And cut! That was good. Again
from one. I said cut!!
What the hell are they doing?!
Hi. I’m looking for Ray Finkle. (A shotgun is thrust into his face) And a clean pair of shorts.
History has shown that even the most intuative criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time . But if I AM mistaken . If the Luitenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be . Then my friend..she is suffering from the worst case of hemaroids I HAVE EVER SEEN ! Tha’s why Roger Padacktor is dead : He found Captain Winky !
Hmm unconsious ..exactly as I planned
Holy Testicle Tuesday!
HOLY TESTICLE TUESDAY!!
Holy Testicle Tuesday!!!
Hungry fella ???……..There ya go !!!!!
I am trainer of dolfins.. you want to talk to snow flake you talk to me! Why do you care about snow flake? do you know him? does he call you at home? do you have a dorsal fin? To train the dolfin you must think like the dolfin, you must be getting inside the dolfins head and comunicating. I am saying to snow flake ageh ageh ageh ageh ageh ageh, and he is saying ageh ageh… and he is up on the tail going eeeh eeeh eeeh and you can quote him….. now go to the conference, go to it.
I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
I CAN’T DO IT CAPTIN I JUST DON’T HAVE ZEE POW’R!
i cant do it captain…i dont have the power
I don’t do people.
I have excercised the demons!
I have exorcisssssssssed the demon!….this house…is clear
I just can’t do it Captian, I DON’T HAVE THE POWER!
I saw the guys’ room . It’s cozy if you’re Hannibal Lector .
I think Uncle Fester’s looking for you!!
I’d like to ask you a few questions, if I could. Just a few questions thats all.
I’m in Psychoville and Finkle’s
the Mayor. Where’s Dan Marino?
I’ve got a package people!
If he had held the ball laces out like he’s supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell!
If i have to tear this world apart, i’m going to find it… i’ve GOT TO, MISTER!!!!
If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer
If I’m not back in five minutes …just wait longer
If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer
If I’m not back in five minutes…just wait longer.
If im not back in 5 minutes…..JUST wait longer :)
If im not back in 5 minutes…just wait longer.
In a Sean Connery accent:
Lovely party. To bad I wasn’t invited
It’s cozy……if you’re HANNIBAL LECTOR
It’s not a good time, Ace. If
Einhorn comes in and sees me talking to you or your ASS, I’m
gonna be history.
Kick-off time–my favorite thing. Laces OUT!
Laces out, DAN!
Lady- How about I take off your pants? Ace- Let Me Think…sure
ACE:…Yes, Satan? (turns around) Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I thought you were somebody else.
Like a GLOOOVE
loser, you’re a loser
Man I’m tired of being right
Man, I’m tired of being right!!
Man: I’m sorry…that’s never happened to me before.
Woman: Which part…the eight seconds of sex or the forty minutes of crying?
May I tell you what I think
happened? Alrighty then
Roger Podacter went out after
work. He had a few drinks, and he
came home. But he wasn’t alone.
Someone was with him in this
apartment. There was a struggle,
and then Roger Podacter was thrown
over that balcony. Roger Podacter
didn’t commit suicide. He was
Melissa it’s Ace. I’m in psycoville and Finkle’s the mayor.
Mr. S: VENTURA! Ventura: Yes Satan…oh i’m sorry sir..you sounded like someone else.Mr. S:forget the wisecracks ventura*cough**cough* you owe me rent. VENTURA: Mr. Shikadanz I told you, your my first priority..i’m on a very big case right now…see that bird..some rich guy lost it and offering 25 grand to get it back. Once I find this bird….YOUR PAID!!! Mr. S: I heard animals in there ventura, i heard em again this morning, scratchin around. VENTURA: I don’t bring my homework home with me sir. Mr. S: Oh yeah.what’s all the pet food for?
VENTURA: Fibre, you want to take a look around? come on take a look around.
Mrs. Finkle: If he had held the ball laces out like he’s supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell!
new england clam chowder
Oh My! Brad Carpenter is here
oh there is just one last thing leuteneant. this woman is roger pedacktors neighbor she said she heard a sream. is that right mam? (yes) and you said you had to open the sliding glass door when you keyed into the room.(ya) your certain you had to open this door?(ya in certain) einhorn: whats the piont ventura? only this.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………….hhhhhhHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh……HHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh…..HHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh (gasp gasp) this is double pained sound proof galss ther is nmo way that neighbor could have roger scream with that window closed. the scream she heard came from inside this apartment and the murderer close the door before he left. I HAVE EXORSIZED THE DEMONS…this house is clear…..losers? loooosers….. loosers
OH YEA…. THE BITCH. Picaneese, hyperactive, lost in the Highland Park area. She was half dead when i found her.
Oh, my god! That’s it! Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is
Einhorn!â€¦ Einhorn is a man!!! OH MY GOD!!! EINHORN IS A MAN!!!
Power Of Suggestion.
S’cuse me is Greg here?…..Thank you!
see the engines runnin but theres nobody behind the wheel
Snowflake? Here Snowflake!
so you dont think this is an obvious suicicde?
oh i wouldnt say that. lord knows theres plenty of evidence to support your theory. eexcept for that spof blood on the railing over there.
Soccer style kicker graduate of collier high june 1976, stetsion university honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA records 1 for most points, 1 for distance, once nicknamed the mule, and one hell of a model american
Thank you for all your cooperation. By the way, do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca?
That’s fine. I’ll fininsh the rest. You take care now, buh bye then.
That’s it! That’s IT! Einhorn is Finkle! FINKLE is EINHORN! EINHORN is a MAN!…Oh, my GOD! Einhorn is a MAN!!!
The 1982 Dolphin AFC Championship
ring. I find the ring with the missing
stone, I find Snowflake.
the dolphin has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth, and a serated dorsal appendage. butt im sure you already knew that !! thats what turns me on about ya ! your attention to detail…
There was some damage to my car…it’s a high performance machine so I had to fill it with Premium.
theyre keeping me online. I’ll create a diversion
This is double pain soundproof glass. There is no way the scream that women heard came from outside the apartment, the scream she heard came from inside the apartment and the murderer closed the door before he left….oh yeah, can you feel that, this house has been cleard..loser…loser
Uh oh!, Lassie must be missing
Unconsious–exactly as I planned.
Warning! Assholes are closer than
Warning! Assholes in mirror are closer than they appear. =)
Warning! Assholes maybe closer than they appear.
Warning, warning, assholes in mirror are closer than they appear!
We’re goin’ downtown.
Well I have kissed a man.
Well if I look like I’m walking funny it’s bacause I got 2 dozen reporters up my ass .
Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey maybe I’ll give you call sometime. You numbers still 911? All righty then.
What a sports nut, huh?
What do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? DO YOU HAVE A DORSAL FIN?!!!
what do you feed your dog? um…dog food why he is just miserable you know what your just mad because you can solve the snowflake case ya and your ugly im not even gunna deal with you right now well why dont ya cry about it fatty… saddle bags………(to dog) like her hu? ya shes not to bad
What do you know! There little footballs!
What is it with all the shouting?! We’re through with the shouting. (Who’s that?) (That’s, uh…) Heinskit’s Velvet! I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. (What happened to the regular trainer?) What happened to him? What happened to me?! Seven years I madedetrade. We are making the dolphins disappeare, un den Roy is coming, Mr. Vitiger, unda stuffingofthepants, un den I’m gone. (Where is Snowflake?) Why do you care about the dolphin? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? Do you have a dorsal fin?! To train the dolphin, you must think like the dolphin, you must be getting und-side the dolphin’s head, und communicating. I am saying to Snowflake, akay? akay? Und he is saying AKAY AKAY. Und he is up on the tail-EEE EEE EEE-und you can quote him. (Alright! It’s about time for Coach Schuler’s press conference…) Go to the conference, go to it.
What the hell does Lois Einhorn
have to do with Ray Finkle? Come
on, think! Finkle and Einhorn. In it
together. How? Why? Alright! Here we go! Answer’s
right there! Just gotta get some
blood to the brain! Finkle and
Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn!
Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and
what’s up MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDINGA?
Who wants gum?
Why do you want to speak to the dolphin? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? Do you have a dorsal fin!
Why don’t you cry about it saddlebags
why don’t you cry about it SATTEL BAGS!!!!!!!!!
why dont ya cry about it SADDLEBAGS!
would you like a breath mint huh huh??
Would you like for me to take off your pants instead? 2) let me see, uuumm, sure!
Y’know, I don’t even want to
know why your pants are missing!
I don’t care what happened! You
could have cost me my job.
yes satan? oh i’m sorry sir, i thought you were somebody else.
You’re gun is sticking into my hip.
You’re just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn’t work out and you don’t know how to express your anger.
Yeah, well you’re ugly
Your gun is digging into my hip. God.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
‘: Quotes from the movie ‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective