Mark Twain Quotes

TWAIN’S LETTERS V6 1907-1910 by A. B. Paine[MT#59][mt6lt10.txt]3198

That doctor had half an idea that there is something the matter with my
brain. . . Doctors do know so little and they do charge so much for

You ought not to say sarcastic things about my “fighting on the other
side.” General Grant did not act like that. General Grant paid me
compliments. He bracketed me with Zenophon–it is there in his Memoirs
for anybody to read. He said if all the confederate soldiers had
followed my example and adopted my military arts he could never have
caught enough of them in a bunch to inconvenience the Rebellion. General
Grant was a fair man, and recognized my worth; but you are prejudiced,
and you have hurt my feelings.

DEAR HOWELLS,–I have to write a line, lazy as I am, to say how your Poe
article delighted me; and to say that I am in agreement with
substantially all you say about his literature. To me his prose is
unreadable–like Jane Austin’s. No, there is a difference. I could read
his prose on salary, but not Jane’s. Jane is entirely impossible. It
seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.

COMPLETE LETTERS OF MARK TWAIN, by Paine [MT#60][mtclt10.txt]3199

That doctor had half an idea that there is something the matter with my
brain. . . Doctors do know so little and they do charge so much for

Shall we ever laugh again? If I could only see a dog that I knew in the
old times! and could put my arms around his neck and tell him all,
everything, and ease my heart. Think–in 3 hours it will be a week!–and
soon a month; and by and by a year. How fast our dead fly from us.

I used to like the sea, but I was young then, and could easily get
excited over any kind of monotony, and keep it up till the monotonies ran

And I say this also: He that waiteth for all men to be satisfied with his
plan, let him seek eternal life, for he shall need it.

Well-good-bye, and a short life and a merry one be yours. Poor old
Methusaleh, how did he manage to stand it so long?

You are assisted in your damaging work by the tyrannous ways of a
village– villagers watch each other and so make cowards of each other.

End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Quotations of Mark Twain
by David Widger


All life seems to be sacred except human life
But there are liars everywhere this year
If the man doesn’t believe as we do, we say he is a crank
It is easier to stay out than get out
Man is the only animal that blushes–or needs to
No nation occupies a foot of land that was not stolen
No people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones
Notion that he is less savage than the other savages
Ostentatious of his modesty
Otherwise they would have thought I was afraid, which I was
Pity is for the living, Envy is for the dead
Prosperity is the best protector of principle
Received with a large silence that suggested doubt
Seventy is old enough–after that, there is too much risk
Takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you
The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds
To a delicate stomach even imaginary smoke can convey damage
Tourists showing how things ought to be managed
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been
But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good
Fun–but of a mild type
I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed
I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing
Keg of these nails–of the true cross
People talk so glibly of “feeling,” “expression,” “tone,”
Room to turn around in, but not to swing a cat
Smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness
Uncomplaining impoliteness
Well provided with cigars and other necessaries of life
What’s a fair wind for us is a head wind to them
Whichever one they get is the one they want
Worth while to get tired out, because one so enjoys resting
Aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice
Cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want
Children were clothed in nothing but sunshine
Contempt of Court on the part of a horse
Fertile in invention and elastic in conscience
Man was not a liar he only missed it by the skin of his teeth
Native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance
Nothing that glitters is gold
Profound respect for chastity–in other people
Scenery in California requires distance
Slept, if one might call such a condition by so strong a name
Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity
Always trying to build a house by beginning at the top
Believed it; because she desired to believe it
Best intentions and the frailest resolution
Grief that is too deep to find help in moan or groan or outcry
Haughty humility
Imagination to help his memory
Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage in his statements
It had cost something to upholster these women
Let me take your grief and help you carry it
Life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death
Money is most difficult to get when people need it most
Nursed his woe and exalted it
Predominance of the imagination over the judgment
Road, which did not seem to know its own mind exactly
Sleep that heals all heart-aches and ends all sorrows
Very pleasant man if you were not in his way
Wasn’t worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions
“We must create, a public opinion,” said Senator Dilworthy
Your absence when you are present

Leave a Comment