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Mark Twain: autobiography book and writings

THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, by Mark Twain [MT#37][mtinn10.txt]3176

Ancient painters never succeeded in denationalizing themselves
Apocryphal New Testament
Astonishing talent for seeing things that had already passed
Bade our party a kind good-bye, and proceeded to count spoons
Base flattery to call them immoral
Bones of St Denis
But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good
Buy the man out, goodwill and all
By dividing this statement up among eight
Carry soap with them
Chapel of the Invention of the Cross
Christopher Colombo
Clustered thick with stony, mutilated saints
Commend me to Fennimore Cooper to find beauty in the Indians
Conceived a sort of unwarrantable unfriendliness
Confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on some other firm
Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
Cringing spirit of those great men
Diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair
Expression
Felt that it was not right to steal grapes
Fenimore Cooper Indians
Filed away among the archives of Russia–in the stove
For dismal scenery, I think Palestine must be the prince
Free from self-consciousness–which is at breakfast
Fumigation is cheaper than soap
Fun–but of a mild type
Getting rich very deliberately–very deliberately indeed
Guides
Have a prodigious quantity of mind
He never bored but he struck water
He ought to be dammed–or leveed
Holy Family always lived in grottoes
How tame a sight his country’s flag is at home
I am going to try to worry along without it
I carried the sash along with me–I did not need the sash
I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed
I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated
Is, ah–is he dead?
It is a hopeless, dreary, heart-broken land
It is inferior–for coffee–but it is pretty fair tea
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing
It was warm. It was the warmest place I ever was in
Joshua
Journals so voluminously begun
Keg of these nails–of the true cross
Lean and mean old age
Man peculiarly and insufferably self-conceited: not seasick
Marks the exact centre of the earth
Nauseous adulation of princely patrons
Never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language
Never left any chance for newspaper controversies
Never uses a one-syllable word when he can think of a longer one
No satisfaction in being a Pope in those days
Not afraid of a million Bedouins
Not bring ourselves to think St John had two sets of ashes
Old Travelers
One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
Only solitary thing one does not smell in Turkey
Oriental splendor!
Original first shoddy contract mentioned in history
Overflowing his banks
People talk so glibly of “feeling,” “expression,” “tone,”
Perdition catch all the guides
Picture which one ought to see once–not oftener
Polite hotel waiter who isn’t an idiot
Relic matter a little overdone?
Room to turn around in, but not to swing a cat
Saviour, who seems to be of little importance any where in Rome
Self-satisfied monarch, the railroad conductor of America
Sentimental praises of the Arab’s idolatry of his horse
She assumes a crushing dignity
Shepherd’s Hotel, which is the worst on earth
Smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining
Some people can not stand prosperity
Somewhat singular taste in the matter of relics
St Charles Borromeo, Bishop of Milan
St Helena, the mother of Constantine
Starving to death
Stirring times here for a while if the last trump should blow
Tahoe means grasshoppers. It means grasshopper soup
The information the ancients didn’t have was very voluminous
The Last Supper
There was a good deal of sameness about it
They were like nearly all the Frenchwomen I ever saw –homely
They were seasick. And I was glad of it
Those delightful parrots who have “been here before”
To give birth to an idea
Toll the signal for the St Bartholomew’s Massacre
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness
Uncomplaining impoliteness
Under the charitable moon
Used fine tooth combs–successfully
Venitian visiting young ladies
Wandering Jew
Wasn’t enough of it to make a pie
We all like to see people seasick when we are not, ourselves
Well provided with cigars and other necessaries of life
What’s a fair wind for us is a head wind to them
Whichever one they get is the one they want
Who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months
Worth while to get tired out, because one so enjoys resting

ROUGHING IT, by Mark Twain [MT#38][mtrit10.txt]3177

Aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice
American saddle
Cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want
Children were clothed in nothing but sunshine
Contempt of Court on the part of a horse
Feared a great deal more than the almighty
Fertile in invention and elastic in conscience
Give one’s watch a good long undisturbed spell
He was nearly lightnin’ on superintending
He was one of the deadest men that ever lived
Hotel clerk who was crusty and disobliging
I had never seen lightning go like that horse
Juries composed of fools and rascals
List of things which we had seen and some other people had not
Man was not a liar he only missed it by the skin of his teeth
Most impossible reminiscences sound plausible
Native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance
Never knew there was a hell!
Nothing that glitters is gold
Profound respect for chastity–in other people
Scenery in California requires distance
Slept, if one might call such a condition by so strong a name
Useful information and entertaining nonsense
Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity

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