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Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to stay, and still get the feeling that you wanted to go? Gentlemen, will you all now leave quietly, or must I ask Miss Cutler to pass among you with a baseball bat? I can feel the hot blood pounding through your varicose veins. I can … Read more

Since you’ve all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me. (1)You don’t know the real me. (2)There isn’t a real you. (1)Oh yeah, I forgot. –So you just pretend to be an asshole? –It’s … Read more

(While Creasy loads an RPG to blow up the AFI agent) Person: But the church says God forgives Creasy: Yes, God meets with man to forgive him. Its my job to arrange the meeting –Do you think God will forgive us for what we’ve done? –No. –Me neither. –Do you think they’d hire a drunk? … Read more