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(1)Christ, you really toasted that guy, Jack. (2)Ah, goddammit, I didn’t TOAST the guy! I just SHOT him! For Chrissakes, don’t say I TOASTED him, Ben! (1)How much of my money did you spend? (2)Oh, about 25 grand. You said I could buy a new car. (1)So where is it? (2)This is the new car! … Read more

Ge the epidural. None of this natural child birth. It’s not natural. Get the epidural. None of this natural birth. It’s not natural. I can’t find my husband or my beeper. Have you seen either of them? I’ve got gravi tas` up the wazoo! IT’S A NOVEL!!!! Sally, you’re a medical miracle. The only person … Read more

(actor)When I die I want to be torn apart by wild animals. (Alvy)Yeah, probably eaten by some squirrels. (Alvy)I wonder what she looks like naked? (Alvy)Jesus, I’m standing here with the cast of The Godfather. (Alvy)Let me ask you something. Is this a sandwich? (Alvy)Max, are we driving through plutonium? (Alvy)Well, Duane, I’m due back … Read more