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(Talking really fast in helicopter) Holy shit, shes a gook assassin, lemme nail that bitch, shit, I’m hit, I’m hit, I’m OK, Maday, maday, I’m going in –Do you know why you can never step into the same river twice? –Yeah, ’cause it’s always moving. –This is evil – evil, Captain. We’re all going to … Read more

–I’m all out of liquor, and there’s no clean glasses, no cheese crackers, no nothing. –Let me worry about that. Just leave the key under the mat and clear out. –The mirror…it’s broken. –Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel. I like it that way. It makes … Read more

1) Are those initials on your boxers? 2) Yeah, my mom’s an initial freak 1) By the way, Ted is not a homosexual 2) I never said he was, just because I said he was light in the loafers does not mean I said he was gay 1) Oh yes you did! 2) Oh no … Read more