HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL Oldest Inhabitant: “I never expected to live till the end of the War, Ma’am; but now I’m hoping to be spared to see the beginning of the next one.” * * * “That’s Betty Grant’s new maid.” “She’s much smarter than her mistress.” “Well, they can’t both afford to dress like that.” … Read more
ALL IN ONE BREATH Wife: “I’m afraid you’ll think me rather extravagant, dear, but I spent ten dollars to-day on a boat, and a train, and a fire-engine, and a box of soldiers, and some nine pins for Freddie’s birthday. By the way, what are you going to buy him?” * * * A YOUNG … Read more
CAUSE AND EFFECT “What a lot of suffering these ambulance surgeons must witness.” “Yes, indeed! Almost every time they go out they run over some one.” * * * “He’s a nice little horse (I saw him myself) and the dealer says I may have him for a song. Would you advise me to buy … Read more