(during play when Bobby imagines a player is his mama) Fake mama: Little girls are the devil! 1. She’s not the devil! She’s the most beautiful woman in the world! Real player: I NEVER SAID SHE WAS THE DEVIL! 1. SHE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD! (tackles player before confronting him) I’m sorry, Mama, I love you! Real player: I love you too.
(flashback 18 years earlier) 1. Hey, Waterboy, watch this! (spits into water jug and walks away as Bobby lunges at him) 2. Now, was our water engineer about to bash one of my football players? 3. But he spit in the c-cooler. 2. That player is a finely tuned athletic machine and I ain’t gonna have him hit in the head by some idiot waterboy. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
(flashback) 1. A girl was nice to me at the creek this morning. 2. Really? 1. We went fishing together, her name’s Vicki. 2. I don’t ever want you associating with little girls! 1. Why not, Mama? 2. Because little girls are the devil!
(in a flashback) 1)Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity? 2)That’s nonsense! I invneted electricity! Ben Franklin is the DEVIL!
(reading a letter) 1)Dear Helen… (to 2) Who’s Helen? 2)That’s my first name, Bobby. 1)Oh…
1) Bobby, did you just make a joke?
2) Yes, yes I did.
1) Heh, heh.
1)Bobby! It’s me, your daddy, Roberto! 2)Daddy? 1)You know, I saw you on the ESPN and how you was going to the NFL! 2)I’m not going to the NFL. I’m going to go to school and graduate. 1)To hell with school, dopey! Take the money! Then we can be partners! Just like that Tiger Woods and his daddy!
1)Bobby, come inside before that witch casts a spell on us! 2)I’m sorry, Vicky Valencourt. 3)Whatever.
1)DAMN! 2)DAMN! 3)ISH KEE O DOE!!
1)Ha, ha. That’s real cute, kid. How old are you? 11? 12? 2)I’m 31 years old. (1 starts laughing) 1)Guarentee that guy’s still a virgin!
1)he poked me in the eye!! 2)captain insano shows no mercy!
1)Hey waterboy! 2)Yes, Mr. Coah Buyou? 1)YOU’RE FIRED!!! 2)Okay.
1)Hey waterboy, you think you’re willing to beat all of us? 2)Kick his water-loving ass, Greg! 1)I asked you a question, dumbass! (holds a knife to his neck) 3)If you even exhale, I will saw your head off! 4)YOU CAN DO IT! CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!
1)Is there a girl you’re seeing? 2)Seeing? (looks around) Oh, I see a lot of girls. I see a lot of guys too. 1)Really? Have you ever been with a guy and a girl at the same time? 2)Oh yeah. Plenty of times. The other night, I was with my mama and coach Klein at the same time.
1)Mama, Vicky is an astrologist. 2)I don’t believe in that sort of thing. Astrology is one of the many tools of the devil.
1)This is the best day of my life! 2)You just wait until tonight! 1)What’s gonna happen tonight? 2)You’ll see. 3)YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT LONG!!! 1)I’m going to go do it.
1)Will all of your please leave so my mama get get her rest? (he leaves) 2)Well wake her ass up! We gotta win tomorrow!
1)you can do it you can do it all night long(hahaha)2) i goin to go do it
1. Hello, Jim, is it possible to speak to Captain Insano? 2. Shoot, Mr. B. 1. Captain Insano, I notice sometimes that when you are wrestling, or opening up a can of Whoop-Ass as you say, you seem to be sweating quite profusely. 2. Yeah? 1. I was just wondering if you need the skills of an experienced waterboy? 2.(chuckles) That’s pretty cute, how old are you, 11? 12? 1. I am 31 years old. (2. and announcer on TV burst out laughing) 2. Guarantee that guy’s still a virgin!
1. Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity? 2. I INVENTED ELECTRICITY! BEN FRANKLIN IS THE DEVIL!
1. Sounds like you could use a shower, Stinky! (sprays water on Bobby) 2. You can say what you want about my personal hygiene but please don’t waste any water.
1. Why is everything the devil to you mama?
2. That’s what I call High-quality H20
1.How old are you kid 11,12?2.I’m 31 years old. (laughing out loud)
1: I bet ya 50 bucks they’ll do a touchdown pass the first play. (After first play: ) 1:WOOO! You owe me 50 bucks! 2: You said it would be a touchdown pass, you crazy asshole.
1: I haven’t seen a tackler this good ssnce Joe Montana! 2: Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot. 1: I said Joe Montanya.
Heknocked the poop out of him!
[After Bobby demonstrates his tackling ability.]
Coach Klein : Bobby, can you do that for me every game?
Bobby : Coach, not only will I do it for you, I… I… I… yes, yes, I’ll do it for you.
A man with a serious drinking problem.
all i had to do all day is play with steeeeve
Are you gonna let them push you around like that? Here you gotta stand up for yourself. Hey Moron Moron ooh i’m the waterboy i got a spoon! stop making fin of me AAAAAAAAAAAARGH Oh,wow,Damn!!!!!!!
at half time in the final
Betcha 50 bucks QuarterBack throws a touchdown pass on the first play, check it out. Woohooo!!! You owe me 50 bucks!!! You said it was gonna be a touchdown You crazy asshole!!
Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Bobby Boucher: Now that’s what I call high-quality H2O!
Bobby this is a hard class, Why are you taking it? I like the beautiful view.
Bobby: And I like school! And I like football! And I’m gonna keep doin’ ’em both ‘cuz they make me feel good! (Leaves and comes back) And I like Vicky, and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them, too!
bobby: my mama said that aligaters are so stuburn beacuse, they have all them teeth and no toothbrush to brush them with
Bobby: So that’s what openin’ up a can of whoop-ass feels like. Coach: Son, you just opened up a whole CASE of whoop-ass!!
bobbys the cheater!! cut his freaking head off!
Captain Inferno shows no mercy
Chao, Roberto
Defence: GAAAATTTOOORAAAADDDEE! Bobby: H20! Defence: GAAAATTTOOORAAAADDDEE! Bobby: H20! Defence:GAAAAATTTOOORAAAADDDEE! Bobby: H20! Defence:Water sucks it really realy suck! Bobby: You’re drinking the wrong water!
Everything is the devil to you, Mama! Well, I like school! And I like football! And I’m going to keep doing them both because they make me feel good! And by the way, Mama, alligators are ornery because of their medula oblingata! And I like Vicky and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I liked them too!
Gaaaaaatorade!Gaaaaatorade!Water SUCKS,it really really sucks!
gaterade, gaterade
Gatorade’s better……
H2O!
Gatorade…….
H2O!
Gatorade, H20, Gatorade, H20, Gatorade, H20 Water Sucks it really really sucks Water Sucks it really really sucks
Girls are the devil.
He died of the dehydration…i woulda gave him some water but i was just a little baby in mommas tummy!
he spit in the c-c-c-cooler !
He’s the best tackler i’ve seen since Joe Montana. Joe Montana was a QuarterBack you Idiot!! I said Joe Montanya!!!
HERE COMES SERGEANT STUTTER.
HEY, MORON! DUH! (imitating Bobby) L-LOOK AT ME, I’M THE W-WATERBOY! I GOT A WOODEN SPOON, DUH!
I am not what you would call a handsome man. God did not choose to bless me with good looks, charm or a fully functional brain.
I am not what you would call a handsome man. The Lord chose not to bless me with charm, athletic ability or a fully functional brain.
I bet it’s the first time you’ve seen a pair of these. Yes. I really appreciate what you’re showing me right now.
I like Viki and she likes me to and she showed me her boobies and i liked them too!!
I love my momma very much, now you know that
i never said your mumma was the devil. please dont hurt me
I think you zigged when you should’ve zagged on that one.
I’ll have a scotch and water hold the scotch
i’m sorry. we was lookin’ for the bourbon bowl, but it looks like we ended up in retardville, USA!
It’s OK fellas, Mr. Coach Klein said it’s OK!!
Its Clean Its Cold Now Thats What I Call High Quallity H20 (gets hit with the football over the head) Its Ova Dere!!
Its cold, its fresh, now thats what i call high quality H2O
Kid: So Bobby, have you ever been with a girl?
Bobby: Yeah. A lot of them. I been with lots of guys too.
Kline: Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.
Bobby: No.
Kline: Gatorade!
Bobby: H2O!
Kline: Gatorade!
Bobby: H2O!
Kline: Water sucks. It really really sucks. Water sucks.
Lawrence Taylor: Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don’t do crack.
Let’s kick some names and take some ass!
Little girls are the devil!
Look who’s on TV, Mama. The devil.
love mama
M-Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Mama said alligators are ornery cause they got all those teeth and no toothbrush.
Mama said alligators are ornery cause they got all those teeth and no toothbrush..
mama says that happieness is magic rays of sunshine that come down when youre feeling blue
Mama says that happiness comes from little rays of sunshine that shine down when your feeling blue.
Mama: The chickens are comin’ home to roost, Bobby Bousche. You’ll reap the fruit of your selfish ways! You gonna lose all your fancy foosball games and you’re gonna fail your big exam…because school is… Bobby: The devil! Mama: Huh! Bobby: Everything is the devil to you, MAMA! Well, I like school! And I like football! And I’m gonna keep doin’ ’em both, cuz they make me feel good!…And by the way Mama, Alligators are ornery, cuz their medulla oblongata!……And I like Vicky, and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!
Moma says the alligators are ornry becuase they have all them teeth and no toothbrus!
My momma says that
happiness comes from
magic rays of sunshine
that come down when
we’re feeling blue
N-N-N-now that’s some h-h-hi-igh quality h2o!
Needle dick Needle dick Needle dick
No, Colonel Sanders! YOU WRONG!!
not only does gatorade quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too idiot, Bobby:your drinking the wrong kinda water, coach Kline:gaaatorade, Bobby:H2O, coach Kline:gaaaaaaaatorade, Bobby:H2O
Now that is some high quality H2O!
Now that what i call high quality h2o
now that’s hi quality H2O
Now thats some high quality H2O!
Oh no! We suck again!
Oh really, my momma says that too. Aren’t all moms the same?
OH,SO THAT’S WHAT OPENING UP A CAN OF WHIP-ASS FEELS LIKE
she showed me her boobies and i liked them too
She’s not the devil momma, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world
Slap hands! Slap hands!
Slap hands!!
Something’s wrong with his medula oblongata.
still cold
STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!
The quarterback he fakes to left, no no no he fakes to the right, no he doesn’t fake he thinks about faking he pretends to fake…I don’t know where I am.
Visualize and attack!
WATER SUCKS! IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS!
Water sucks, it really really sucks
Water sucks, it really, really sucks
Water sucks….Gatorade’s better. Water sucks….Gatorade’s better.
Well, back in 1966, Pickup sticks
What Mama don’t know won’t hurt her.
Who dat? Who dar?
Whoo Were Gonna Kick Some Names And Take Some Ass!!!!!!!
Y-you sound like a big chu-chu-train.
You can do it!
you can do it! Cut his fucking head off!
YOU CAN DO IT!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!, CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!!
you can do it. You can do it alllll night looong!
YOU CAN DO IT…CUT HIS FRAEKING HAD OFF!!!
You said it was gonna be a touchdown pass you crazy asshole!!
You’re wrong Colonel Sanders!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Waterboy, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Waterboy, The’
