(laugh)1)what?2) your stepping in your pizza 1) shit!
–Go.
–You sure?
–Yeah, yeah. Let’s.
1) You know how I feel about Texas…We’re not going that way. 2)I know, Louise, but we’re running for our lives! Don’t you think you could make an exception just this once?! I mean, look at the map. The only thing between Oklahoma and Mexico is Texas!
1)Are you at work? 2)No, I’m callin’ from the Playboy Mansion. 1)I’ll call you right back.
1)Are you sure we should be driving like this? In broad daylight and everything? 2)No we shouldn’t, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last Goddamn crime! 1)Oooooweee!! You shoulda seen me! Like I’d been doin’ it all my life! Nobody would ever believe it.
1)Bitch. I should have gone ahead and fucked her. 2)What did you say?
1)I said suck my cock.
1)Could you identify ’em, if ya saw ’em again? 2)Hal, I’ve told you about twenty times, yes, I could identify ’em, but neither one of them was the type to pull something like this. 1)Well, you’re not exactly an expert witness, but what makes you so sure? 2)If waitin’ tables in a bar don’t make you an expert on human nature, then nothin’ will, and I could’ve told you that Harlan Puckett would end up buyin’ it in a parkin’ lot. I’m just surprised it didn’t happen before now. 1)Who do you think did it? 2)Has anybody asked his wife? She’s the one I hope did it. Well, if I had to guess, I’d say it was some ol’ gal, some ol’ gal’s husband. But it wasn’t either one of those two. The small one, the one with the tidy hairdo, she left me a huge tip. 1)You didn’t happen to notice what kind of car they were driving? 2)It’s a nightclub Hal, not a drive-in. I don’t follow the customers to the parking lot.
1)Damn, Jimmy, did you take a pill that makes you say all the right stuff? 2)Yeah, I’m choking on it.
1)Darryl, that’s my husband, he says he’s not ready. He’s still too much of a kid himself. He prides himself on being infantile. 2)He’s got a lot to be proud of. 1)Louise and Darryl don’t get along. 2)That’s puttin’ it mildly.
1)Did either of them ever indicate that they might be running from the
Law? 2)Now that you mention it, they might have been a little bit jumpy. 1)You know what? You’re starting to irritate me. 3)Yeah. Me too. 2)Well that’ll happen.
1)Don’t get mad, Louise, but where are we going? 2)Oklahoma City. Jimmy’s gonna wire me some money, and then… 1)Jimmy?! You talked to him?! Did you tell him? Is he mad? 2)No, I didn’t tell him. And that’s something we gotta get straight. Darryl’s been callin’, mad as a hornet, makin’ all kinds of noise. When you talk to him, you cannot say anything about this. You gotta make sure everything sounds normal. 1)I called the asshole at 4:00 in the morning and he wasn’t even home. I don’t know what he’s got to be mad about. I’m the one who should be mad.
1)He said he took it to a motel in Oklahoma City. He also says that at that time he met a man. He identified you through a series of mug shots. He also told us that you and Mrs. Dickinson seemed ‘close.’ Is that true? 2)You might say we had a meeting of the minds, yes.
1)He said we have to decide whether we want to come out of this dead or alive. 2)Gosh, didn’t he say anything positive at all?
1)Hon? 2)What?! 1)You want anything special for dinner? 2)No, Thelma, I don’t give a shit what we have for dinner. I may not even make it home for dinner. You know how Fridays are. 1)Funny how so many people wanna buy carpet on a Friday night. You’d almost think they’d want to forget about it for the weekend. 2)Well then, it’s a good thing you’re not regional manager and I am.
1)I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve got something I need to talk to my
friend about. In private. 2 Aw, I understand. I didn’t mean to bother ya. It’s just hard not to notice two such pretty ladies as yourselves. You better dance with me before you leave, or I’ll never forgive you. 3)Oh, sure. That’d be fun.
1)I told you to slow down. Hell, Officer, I told her to slow down. 2)About how fast was I going? 3)About a hundred and ten. You wanna step out of the car, please?
1)I want you to call Darryl. 2)What for? 1)To find out if he knows anything. If you think he does, you gotta hang up because it means the police have told him and the phone is probably tapped.
1)I’m just some guy. A guy whose parole officer is probably having a
shit fit right about now. 2)What?! Parole officer? You mean you’re a criminal? 1)Well, not no more, Thelma, except for bustin’ parole, I haven’t done one wrong thing.
1)Jeez, Louise, that wasn’t very nice. 2)Can’t you tell when somebody’s hittin’ on you? 1)So what if he was? It’s all your years of waitin’ tables has made you jaded. 2)Maybe. 1)Well, just relax, will ya. You’re makin’ me nervous.
1)Jimmy! Hello, stranger. What in the world are you doin’ here? 2)Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies. 1)Good answer. Same goes double for me.
1)Let’s keep going 2)what?(looking over cliff) 1) you sure.. 2)yeah.
1)Murder one! God, Louise, can’t we even say it was self-defense? 2)But it wasn’t! We got away! We were walkin’ away! 1)They don’t know that! It was just you and me there. I’ll say he raped me and you had to shoot him! I mean, it’s almost the truth! 2)It won’t work.
1)Why not?! 2)No physical evidence. We can’t prove he did it. We probably can’t even prove he touched you by now. 1)God. The law is some tricky shit.
1)Now what are a couple of Kewpie dolls like you doin’ in a place like
this? 2) Mindin’ our own business, why don’t you try.
1)So what are you gonna tell him? 2)Nothing. I’m not gonna tell him a
thing. The least I can do is not make him an accessory any more than
he already is. 1)You are so sweet to that guy, you really are. Imagine not wanting to drag him into this.
1)The important thing is not to let on that you know anything. We want to try and find out where they are. Now I don’t want to get too personal, but do you have a good relationship with your wife? Are you close with her? 2)Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m about as close as I can be with a nut case like that. 3)Well, if she calls, just be gentle. Like you’re happy to hear from her. You know, like you really miss her. Women love that shit. 2)(Laughs) Women love that shit.
1)We can change our names. 2)We can live in a hacienda. 1)I wanna get a job. I wanna work at Club Med. 2)Now what kind of deal do you think that cop can come up with to beat that? 1)It’d have to be pretty good. 2)It would have to be pretty damn good.
1)We don’t need the lantern. The place has electricity 2)I wanna take it anyway. Just in case. 1)In case of what? 2)In case there’s some escaped psycho killer on the loose, who cuts the electricity off and tries to come in and kill us. 1)Oh yeah, Thelma, that lantern will come in real handy. Maybe we could tow your car behind, in case he steals the spark plugs.
1)We have to think this through. We have to be smart. Now is not the
time to panic. If we panic now, we’re done for. Nobody saw it. Nobody knows it was us. We’re still okay. Now all we have to do is just figure out our next move. 2)I’ll say one thing, Louise. This is some vacation. I sure am having a good time. This sure is fun. 1)If you weren’t so concerned with having a good time, we wouldn’t be here right now.
1)We were just wonderin’ where you think you get off behavin’ like that to women you don’t even know. 2)What? What are you talkin’ about? 3)You know good and damn well what I’m talkin’ about. 1)I mean really! That business with your tongue. What is that? That’s disgusting! 3)And, oh my God, that other thing, that pointing to your lap? What’s that supposed to mean exactly? Does that mean pull over, I want to show you what a big fat slob I am or… 1)Does that mean suck my dick? 2)You women are crazy! 3)You got that right.
1)We’re both fine. 2)Good. You wanna tell me what happened? 1)Sure. Maybe over coffee sometime. I’ll buy.
1)We’re fugitives now. Let’s behave that way! 2)You’re right.
1)Well, if you don’t mind me sayin’ so, he sounds like a real asshole.
2)It’s okay. He is an asshole. Most of the time I just let it slide.
1)What did Darryl say? 2)He said ‘Okay, Thelma. I just wanted to know you were alright. I hope you’re havin’ a good time. You sure deserve one after puttin’ up with me all the time. I love you, honey.’ How long before we’re in Goddamn Mexico?
1)What’s wrong with you? 2)Nothing. Why? Do I seem different? 1)Yes, now that you mention it. You either seem crazy or you’re on drugs. 2)Well, I’m not on drugs. But I might be crazy!
1)Whose place is this again? 2)It’s Bob’s, the day manager’s. He’s gettin’ a divorce, so his wife’s gettin’ this place, so he’s lettin’ all his friends use it till he has to turn over the keys.
1)Why are you actin’ like this? 2)Actin’ like what?! How am I supposed to act? ‘Scuse me for not knowing what to do after you blow someone away!
1)Would you believe me if I told you this whole thing is an accident?
2)I do believe you. That’s what I want everybody to believe. Trouble
is, it doesn’t look like an accident and you’re not here to tell me about it… I need you to help me here.
1)Y’all wanna drink? 2)No thanks. 3) I’ll have Wild Turkey straight up
and a Coke back, please.
1)You awake? 2)You could call it that. My eyes are open. 1)Me too. I feel awake. 2)Good. 1)Wide awake. I don’t remember ever feelin’ this awake. Everything looks different. You know what I mean. I know you know what I mean. Everything looks new. Do you feel like that? Like you’ve got something to look forward to?
1)You probably even called us beavers on your CB radio, didn’t you?
2)Yeah… sure did. 1)Damn. I hate that! I hate bein’ called a beaver, don’t you?
1)You told that thievin’ little shit where we were goin’?! 2)I just told him if he ever gets to Mexico to look us up. I asked him not to tell. I didn’t think he would tell anybody. 1)Why not?! What’s he got to lose? Other than my life’s savings, that is. Shit!
1)You wanna step into the trunk, please? 2)Ma’am, please… I got kids… a wife… 1)You do? Well, you’re lucky. You be sweet to ’em. Especially your wife. My husband wasn’t sweet to me and look how I turned out. Now go on, get in there.
1)You’re a good friend. 2)You too, sweetie, the best. 1)I guess I went a little crazy, huh? 2)No… You’ve always been crazy. This is just the first chance you’ve had to really express yourself.
1.God damn it Thelma. what did i tell you about yelling. 2. I know, I just didn’t want you to late for work.
1/ Where did you learn to shoot like that?
2/ TV!
2/ Where did you learn to shoot like that?
1/ Texas!
Alright, alright, we were just havin’ some fun. #2: Seems to me you have some pretty fucked up idea of fun. In the future, when a woman’s cryin’ like that, she ain’t havin’ any fun. #1: Shit, I should have gone ahead and fucked her. #2: What did you say? #1: I said, Suck my dick. Bang Bang Bang Bang #2: You watch your mouth!
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let’s see who’ll win the prize for keepin’ their cool. Simon says everybody down on the floor. If nobody loses their head, then nobody loses their head. You sir… You do the honors. Just empty that cash into this bag and you’ll have an amazing story to tell all your friends. If not, you’ll have a tag on your toe. You decide.
And the husband says a gun is missing. She took a lot of stuff. It looks like she maybe planned on being gone a while. The strange thing is, her husband said she would never touch that gun. He got it for her ’cause he’s out late a lot, but he said she’d never touch it,
wouldn’t learn to shoot it, just left it in a drawer for years.
ask me no questions ill tell no lies
Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There’s no excuse for that, there’s no such thing as justifiable robbery.
Bitch! I should have gone ahead and fucked her!
But I don’t know… something’s crossed over in me and I can’t go back. I mean, I just couldn’t live…
Don’t you fall apart on me. Goddamnit, Thelma. Every time we get in trouble, you go blank or plead insanity or some such shit. Not this time.
For the first time in my life, I wish this car wasn’t green.
Goddamnit! I’ve never been lucky! Not one time!
Good thing he left when he did. We thought we were gonna have to put
out a fire.
Hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him.
How do you like the vacation so far?
I *love* to watch him go
I ain’t apologizing for shit!
I don’t ever remember feeling this awake.
I have a savings account with about sixty-seven hundred dollars in it.
Now I know you won’t be able to get it out. I need that money. Can you wire me the sixty-seven hundred dollars and I’ll pay you back?
I hope you’re packed, little housewife, ’cause we are outta her tonight.
I just don’t see what it would hurt just to give somebody a ride. Did
you see his butt? Darryl doesn’t have a cute butt. You could park a
car in the shadow of his ass.
I just want you to know, neither one of you are charged with murder yet. You’re still just wanted for questioning. Although, now, Mrs. Dickinson’s wanted in Oklahoma for armed robbery.
I know it’s crazy, but I just feel like I’ve got a knack for this shit.
I leave for work and you take complete leave of your senses?
I like your wife.
I may be the outlaw, but you’re the one stealin’ my heart.
I really, really apologize, but please put your hands on the steering wheel. See, if you get on that radio, you’re gonna find out that we’re wanted in two states and probably considered armed and dangerous, at least I am, then our whole plan would be shot to hell.
I think I’ve really fucked up. I think I’ve got us in a situation where we could both get killed.
I’m in deep shit; Deep Shit, Arkansas.
I’m not havin’ a turds luck gettin’ a ride out here in this rain.
I’m stuck here like stank on stank
I’ve always believed if done right, armed robbery doesn’t have to be a
totally unpleasant experience.
If you blow a guy’s head off with his pants down, believe me, Texas is the last place you wanna get caught!
In the future, when a woman’s crying like that…she isn’t having any fun.
Is he a funny uncle, cuz if he is then me and him have something in common?
Isn’t that nice? Truck drivers are always so nice. The best drivers on the road.
It’s not okay, Thelma. It’s definitely not okay. None of this is okay. What are we going to do for money? What are we gonna buy gas with? Our good looks? I mean… Goddamn, Thelma!
Jimmy’ll come in off the road, you won’t be there, he’ll freak out and
call you a hundred times, and Sunday night you’ll call him back and, by Monday. He’ll be kissin’ the ground you walk on.
Let me explain something to you. Right now we have only two things goin’ for us. One, nobody knows where we are, and two, nobody knows where we’re going. Now, one of our things that was going for us is gone!
Let’s just keep going.
Louise: i havent seen you this way in a while, you’re usually so sedate. Thelma: well ive had it up to my ass with sedate
louise; jimmy, do you love me? jimmy; what?…er…yeah. yeah louise; nevermind
Make me , break me, make me a man!
Red heads are sassy : Be Prepared
So, how much longer until we’re in goddamn Mexico?
So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain’t got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Something real bad has happened and I can’t tell you what, just that
I did it and I can’t undo it.
Son, I gotta feelin’ about somethin’ and I just wanna ask your opinion. Do you think Thelma Dickinson would have committed armed robbery if you hadn’t taken all their money?
Suck my dick… Boom!!
Take this map. I need you to find all the secondary roads to Mexico from Oklahoma City.
That guy was hurtin’ me. And if you hadn’t come out when you did, he’d a hurt me a lot worse. And probably nothin’ woulda happened to him. ‘Cause everybody did see me dancin’ with him all night. And they woulda made out like I asked for it. And my life woulda been ruined a whole lot worse than it is now. At least now I’m havin’ fun. And I’m not sorry the son of a bitch is dead. I’m only sorry that it was you that did it and not me.
Then what difference does it make if we stop? Come on. I never get to do stuff like this.
Then what?! What, goddamnit! Where the fuck are you going? Are you just leaving for fucking ever? What, did you fuckin’ kill somebody? What!
There’s no such thing as justifiable robbery.
There’s two girls out there that had a chance, they had a chance…! And you blew it for ’em. Now they’ve gotten in some serious trouble, some very serious trouble and I’m gonna hold you personally responsible for at least part of it if anything happens to them. I’ve got no feelin’ for you. But I may be the only person in the world who gives a rat’s ass what happens to them and you’re either gonna tell me every damn thing you know, so there’s a small chance I can actually do them some good, or I’m gonna be all over you like a fly on shit for the rest of your natural life. Your misery is gonna be my goddamn mission in life!!
Those girls aint the murderin’ type Hal.
Wait. What? You want to go to Mexico from Oklahoma and you don’t want to go through Texas?
We don’t live in that kind of world, Thelma!
We’ll be drinkin’ margaritas by the sea, Mamasita.
We’ll take you on to Oklahoma City, then you’d best be on your way
Well, first you pick your place, see, then I’d just sit back and watch it for awhile. Ya gotta wait for just the right moment, which is something you know that shit can not be taught.
Well, I figure if you take a state policeman, shoot up his car, take his gun and lock him in the trunk, it’s best to just get on out of the
state if you can.
Well, I’ve always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn’t have to be an unpleasant experience.
Well, see, it’s not really up to me. It’s not my car. Umm, we’ll have to ask my friend, but she’ll probably say no. She’s a little uptight.
Well, we’re not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.
You finally got laid properly, I’m so proud.
You get what you settle for.
You get what you settle for…
You get your butt back here, Thelma, now!
You gotta take me there! I’m… I’m the only one she’s ever talked to. I don’t want anybody losin’ their heads. You know what happens. The volume gets turned way up and the next thing you know those girls are gonna get shot.
You know, certain words and phrases just keep floating through my mind, things like incarceration, life imprisonment, death by electrocution, shit like that.
You know, I think I’ve got a knack for this shit.
You let her go or I’ll blow your ugly face all over this nice car.
Harlon: Alright,alright, relax. We were just havin’ some fun.
Louise: Seems to me that you have a real fucked up idea of fun. Turn around! In the future, when a woman’s cryin’ like that, she ain’t havin’ any fun.
Harlon: Shit, I should have gone ahead and fucked the bitch.
Louise: What did you say?
Harlon: I said, suck my cock.
You let her go, or I’m gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car.
You mean you haven’t asked him yet? For Christ sake, Thelma, is he your husband or your father? It’s just two days. For God’s sake, Thelma. Don’t be a child. Just tell him you’re goin’ with me, for cryin’ out loud. Tell him I’m havin’ a nervous breakdown.
You said you ‘n’ me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin’, look out ’cause my hair is comin’ down!
You say you’re sorry or I’m gunna make you fuckin’ sorry!
you say youre sorry or im going to make you fuckin sorry
You shoot off a guy’s head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain’t the place you want to get caught.
You’ve always been crazy, this is just the first chance you’ve had to express yourself.
Yup. That’s him goin’. I love to watch him go.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Thelma and Louise’: Quotes from the movie ‘Thelma and Louise’
