Movie Quotes from Stealing Harvard: Quotes from the movie Stealing Harvard

(Duff is taking a chainsaw to a bush) John: Dont you think your taking a little too much off the top? Duff: I think I know what im doing John. Im tapering it so the sun rays reach the lower leaves during the growing season (continues chainsawing)John: What about this string? Duff: The string is a guide John its just a guide.

(Out takes) (Duff): Spooning makes me feel dirrty.

1.) But Elaine, we have to make a promise that we’re not going to say any more mean things about each other. 2.) I have never said anything mean about you. 1.) You’re a lying bitch! 2.) You’re a bag of crap! 1.) You’re the bag of crap. 2.) You’re such a loser! 1.) Skank!

1:i’ve never said anything bad about you

Duff: All right American cattle. Nobody does anything stupid and you can all go home to your precious tv dinners.

Duff: Have you heard of insurance John. Have you heard of insurance. It’s called insurance. No the man’s not gonna miss the money, he’s not gonna have to pay for the money! The insurance guys have to pay for the money, and they deserve to pay!!! John: Bastards….

Duff: Is it moral to let some fat greasy man roll naked in a dirty pile of cash when it could be used for something good like sending Noreen to college.

Duff: John wait, we should make up some fake names.
John: Why?
Duff: Just incase we have to communicate while were inside.
John: Oh ok.
Duff: I wanna be Kyle. I knew this guy at camp, his name was Kyle. He was maybe 13, he got 2 girls pregnant man, 2 girls man. Yeah Kyle. Who you gonna be?
John: Steve…Steve
Duff: Ok Steve.
John: Ok Kyle
Duff: Wait I wanna change, I wanna be Steve.
John: I’m Steve your Karl
Duff: Kyle, my name is Kyle

Duff: Look I provide a public service here John. One way or another those kids were gonna get drunk. Maybe they would have drank mouth wash or sniffed model glue, but you know they wanted beer. Those are good honest kids John. They deliver newspapers, return old pop bottles all week, they deserve to unwind and get drunk. It’s all part of the American dream.

Duff: There’s alot of things you can do with $30,000 John: like what Duff: like putting it in a brown paper bag and throwing it off the face of a cliff, and thats just off the top of my head

Duff: What’s this?
Elaine: Its greairs’s good.
Duff: Really is it good, is it mild & nutty yet pecant in flavor, aged for 2 years and named after the greairs district in Switzerland. I happen to know where greairs is Elaine. I happen to have been to greairs.

Duff: would you care to debate the meaning of ‘weapon’ as this plastic baby comes flying at your temple at 150 mph?

duff: you know what your problem is john? you dont know how to thank people john!

duff:were going skiing

Duff:you were never steve

duff] hey john its been almost 3months what did you disapear of the face of the earth,john] i’ve been busy man, duff] i’ve busy to with my landscaping company landscape escape didnt mean i had to dissapear of the face of the earth.

Elaine: He’s still an asshole.
Duff: MMMMM casserole.
Elaine: I said asshole.
Duff: I thought you said casserole.
Elaine: Well I said asshole.
Duff: Well I heard asshole


I was kinda hungry, so I decided to heat up a brick of cheese…gotta have my cheese.

I’m not liquid John, I’m not l-i-q-u-i-d!

ill trim ya bush


Is it? Is it good? Is it mild and nutty yet piquant in flavor? Aged for two years and named after the Gruyeres district in Switzerland? I know what Gruyeres is, Elaine. I’ve been to Gruyeres.

John:We’re going to need your help for something heavy
Losch:How heavy?
John:Let’s just say, it’s a little too heavy to lift alone.

mine says steve yours says doug

mrs duffy: how are your fokes john, john: dead still mrs duffy: oh i forgot i am on pills they make me all loopy. duff: Mum mrs duffy: say hi to ya fokes john.

Okay. I see what’s going on here. You think you’re mister real estate. Well that’s just great. Let me ask you this – do you have kids? Good. Oh, three of them. Well, that’s even better, because I want there to be an audience when I come over there, take you out into the street and beat the livin’ bejesus outta ya’. (slams down phone repeatedly)

Oooooooooh yeah……..come to Steve.

This is a piece of shit site.

You know, Noreen… Alot of kids are just taking a year off these days. You ever think about that? Traveling? Seeing… Asia? Alot of people there, must be something to it.

you’ll stay down! you’ll stay down! YOU WILL STAY DOWN! Get oup and get out! GET UP GET OUT GET UP GET OUT GET UP GET OUT!

[duff] where not gunna use real guns john ,WHERE NO GUNNA USE REAL GUNS

[duff], i wanna be steve,[john] you carl [duff] kyle ,[john]what ever lets just do this

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